April 2016 Moms
carlamaria1432
member
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Pregnant & alone .. Confused .
carlamaria1432
member
I'm 23 years old and I'm 9 weeks & 6 days pregnant. The baby's father is my ex boyfriend who is in jail for a couple of months; then he's getting out . We still talk on the phone ( he calls me) and we are friends .. Possible going to work out our relationship when he gets out of jail. The problem is, Before I got pregnant I was an addict ; but I'm now clean and since I'm going to be a mother I plan on staying clean forever because I want to be an amazing mother & give my child an amazing life . I live at home with my mom, dad, and brother and my dad supports me having the baby.. BUT my mom is totally against it because she thinks in her mind I'm going to pawn the baby off to her .. Which I would NEVER do.. Ever . My parents haven't seen me responsible yet therefore I do see where they are coming from. But these past few weeks I've been taking care of my responsibilities .. I've been working saving my paychecks. I was torn between keeping the baby or getting a abortion.. I've already had 5 abortions and didn't wanna put my body through another one . Plus I'm 23 I'm old enough to make my own decision ,. I just HOPE AND PRAY keeping. My baby is the right choice . What does everything think? Thank you for reading. Xoxo
Re: Pregnant & alone .. Confused .
Expecting Double Trouble, April 2016
I'd think long and hard about getting back with your ex, especially if he was a drug addict along with you. You have a wonderful opportunity right now to change your life since you're clean (good job!). Get new friends that will be encouraging and not lead you back into that lifestyle! If you believe you can stay clean you can be a great mother! I am 23 too...
So glad you have your dad to support you, and you can prove your mom wrong! Maybe let her know you are determined to change your life and while you may need her advice, you plan on caring for your baby.
Hope everything works out!
I am not sure what you are looking for here.
But I agree with your mom's hesitation. Being responsible for a few weeks doesn't prove much at all.
And I would strongly urge you to talk with your OB for birth control options have you deliver.
Second, if you are committed to staying clean and being a good mother, you absolutely can. Don't let anyone tell you you can't. I became pregnant with my first child at 17 and I too was an addict. My parents tried to push me into abortion but I made the decision the second I knew about my baby that I would never touch cocaine or anything else ever again and I didn't. That baby is now my 10 year old, brilliant, beautiful daughter. I've had a son since then and I'm expecting my third baby now.
If you really want to turn your life around, DO IT. No one can stop you but you. Forget what your mom says, or anyone else for that matter, and make the changes you need to make to give that child a decent life. Go to school, it will keep you busy so you don't use and it will give you and your baby a better shot at a good life.
I wish you the best of luck no matter what you choose to do.
I think it's wonderful you are clean but in order to stay clean you must want it for yourself, not a baby.
I work in the drug/alcohol recovery field and I've worked with many,many addicts and I'm not saying it's not possible but your sobriety starts with you!
I think your mother has some legitimate concerns but give her some time. She'll come around. You need a good support system right now and that starts with dad which is great! If I were you, I would seek some counseling, therapy and group support! It's very beneficial. my only questions are,
were you using up until you found out you were pregnant? If so, have you seen a doctor for an ultrasound yet? And were you a heavy user? Experiencing any withdraw and if so how are you handling it?
GOODLUCK and please consider adoption over abortion this time... There are so many wonderful families out there that would die to have a baby and just aren't able to. If parenthood isn't for you there is someone else out there more than willing to help you! God bless.
You have said this exact thing twice now.
How long have you been sober? What efforts are you taking to ensure you stay sober?
And it doesn't matter what we think about you keeping your baby or not. We aren't the ones who are going to raise it or financially support it. Only you know if you are truly compatible of that or not.
And I think its very interesting that you are not addressing the issue of birth control.
However, I am glad you are growing up and taking responsibility for your lifestyle. Think about your baby first though, since you've been clean your chances of having a healthy baby are high. Just my opinion but think about the bigger situation. You are living with your parents, depending probably financially on them for most of your needs, the father is in jail, no stable relationship with him, newly sober, and not being entirely mature in most of your decision making in the recent past. Perhaps looking into options like open adoption with families that will be supportive and open with you could be a choice. Their are people out there that try for years and could readily supply a happy well adjusted family for a baby. Since you are clean I don't think their is reason for yet another abortion but look into adoption this time around. Your baby deserves the best chance. Just my opinion, but this is your life story. Make the best decisions from here on.