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Let's talk about sex!

SummerFall03SummerFall03 member
in 2nd Trimester
Ok, so I need some advice. This is my second pregnancy, but during my first pregnancy, I was put on bed rest early with no sex very early on. Right now I am about 21 weeks and having a healthy pregnancy thus far. The problem is, there is zero sex happening! It's not like I don't want to, but my self esteem is just shot, and this baby is hanging out really low- I am aware there is no way my husband could poke her, but I just feel like it is going to be horribly uncomfortable. I don't want to go the next 20 weeks without having any sex, but I'm just having a really really hard time working up my courage for it and I feel super down about myself.

Is anyone else going through this? Any advice?
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Re: Let's talk about sex!

  • shelbibrooke82shelbibrooke82 member

    I did with my first when i was in that in between stage but once it happened I got over it quickly lol You just have to let your self esteem issues go!! Your pregnant and beautiful!! In my opinion I was more confident when I was pregnant because I didn't have to worry about my fat belly because it was baby!! If he helped you make the baby then most likely he thinks your beautiful pregnant!!

    My daughter was very low when I hit about 35 weeks...yes sex was a little more uncomfortable because when she moved he'd feel her (stomach lol) so we just used different positions! If sex ends up uncomfortable just play! You will find your own thing and all will be well!! I wish you the best of luck and hope that wasn't TMI!!

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  • SummerFall03SummerFall03 member
    @shelbibrooke82, not TMI, don't worry! I know I have to just go for it, and my husband constantly reassures me he thinks I look fantastic, but it's still tough. My emotions this time around are all over the place as well, so I'm sure that doesn't help things either! Lol
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  • shelbibrooke82shelbibrooke82 member
    haha me too!!! I'm not even far along yet but this one is much more intense on every symptom!
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  • ZoeyRaeJamesZoeyRaeJames member
    I get somewhat uncomfortable. But my SO and I don't have sex often, anymore. I can NEVER really get nyself in the mood. And when I do, it only lasts for about a minute. And since I can't do anything for the next two weeks anyway (I did a klutzy Thursday, and decided to "hug the ground". Got roughed up pretty good, and 3 stitches to the left knee!) I have temporarily "banned" ourselves from sex for a little bit, just because of that. :))
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  • katherines2ndminimekatherines2ndminime member
    We aren't having sex... I'm really upset about it at the moment. I try to talk to him about it. He tries to mildly reassure me, but something is wrong. It's not just the pregnancy. I don't think he's cheating. I don't think he thinks I'm unattractive. But something is wrong. Thanks for listening.
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  • macdeezymacdeezy member
    currently 20 weeks, and I have had little to no sex drive.
    i was so excited for the second trimester. "extra energy, increased libido"
    pffft, whoever came up with that was sniffing glue.
    i feel like an 85 year old half of the time.
    sore hips, decreased natural lubrication. sorry for the TMI. lol.
    sex and pregnancy isn't always the easiest.
    sometimes i just force myself to try and get in the mood.
    i have always suffered from self esteem issues, and that really takes a toll on a persons sex drive.
    i need a "how to feel sexy while having a big ol' belly, horrible acne, and night sweats" book.
    can i get an amen ladies.

    in all reality though, your partner should be understanding of the fact you are growing a child, and that sometimes sex is less than desirable.
    hope you guys figure out something that works for you! <3
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  • kynbar5kynbar5 member
    katherines2ndminime said:

    We aren't having sex... I'm really upset about it at the moment. I try to talk to him about it. He tries to mildly reassure me, but something is wrong. It's not just the pregnancy. I don't think he's cheating. I don't think he thinks I'm unattractive. But something is wrong. Thanks for listening.

    Some men aren't comfortable having sex past a certain point in a pregnancy (my husband included). He's not comfortable trying to be intimate with me and feeling the baby move or kick. It's not you and it really won't do you any good to sit and wonder about it. If you and your SO have good communication skills you can just ask him about it and how he honestly feels. You will feel much better if you just talk to him. :)
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  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    My best advice is to turn the lights off and go for it. I've never heard a man say pregnant women aren't attractive, it's really the opposite. My SO felt a little weird about sex after I started showing, but he was really just worried about hurting the baby. After a couple times with a bigger belly he's gotten used to it.
    And yes, depending on the position it can get uncomfortable. Just try different positions, the most comfortable for me is on top facing away. My baby lays really low and this seems to put less pressure on the pelvic/lower abdominal region. When I'm face forward or on bottom it makes me crampy. Also, take it slow. Lots of foreplay to build up to it and invest in a good lube. It will take a few times to get used to your body but trust me, he definitely finds you attractive.
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  • Momona1Momona1 member
    I may be in the minority, but my husband loves my pregnant body and that turns me on (are we freaks?) We've been having sex a few times per week, although some of that was make up sex after a falling out. 




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  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    Momona1 said:

    I may be in the minority, but my husband loves my pregnant body and that turns me on (are we freaks?) We've been having sex a few times per week, although some of that was make up sex after a falling out. 

    If you're freaks, then so are we. After the initial weirdness SO felt about hurting the baby by smooshing my belly, he hasn't been able to keep his hands off me. I rather enjoy it. We have better sex now than pre-pregnancy and more often, too.
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  • Ancheta3Ancheta3 member
    I'm not having any sex, because my partner is halfway across the country =/ Ever since finding out that we were expecting, I've seen him once (boot camp graduation weekend) at 14 weeks, plenty of sex over those two days :) I'm hoping to be over there with him by October, before I get too big to travel semi-comfortably.

    I feel like I've gained weight everywhere! My arms, my legs, etc. But I know once I'm over there my man won't be able to keep his hands off of me :D I'm looking forward to ask the pregnancy sex to be had!
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