What should I tell my 7 yr old about breastfeeding?

Barker2+1 · September 2015

looking for some advice on how to explain to my seven year old about breastfeeding. He asked me tonight if he would be able to help feed his baby sister when she gets here. I told him we would see but DH is concerned about explaining the ins and outs. I am a biologist and am afraid I will be too technical and give more details than necessary and DH is a smart ass who would say something like only mommie can feed cause they have the meals on wheels. Either way I am afraid of what he will share with his second grade class after this discussion. Anyone with experience explaining this or any advice on the best way to explain it. Thanks in advance

lraubaugh · September 2015

A friend of mine had this same concern and she ended up explaining it in reference to animals, I'm sure he knows that baby cows (etc..) drink from their momma, you can compare it like that or say that the mommies are the only ones that make the milk so the brothers and daddies have to help in other ways.

Motomama67 · September 2015

you can always pump and store and he can help feed her via bottle.

I don't think it will need much explaining. He's 7. I have a 5 yr old boy that will prolly ask once and I'll just tell him it's nature. That's how some mommies feed their babies. Just like a baby calf or puppies etc.. Lol

On the subject, but off the subject... This weekend at a county fair, we seen a woman with her shirt half off walking around the fair breastfeeding. she was in no way trying to cover up and you could literally see every inch of her size FF breast, except the nipple. It was terrible. There were children running around everywhere and luckily I seen her before my son did and I caught his attention to distract. I'm all for breast feeding, not so much for public indecency...

thegingeravenger · September 2015

Motomama67 said:
you can always pump and store and he can help feed her via bottle.

I don't think it will need much explaining. He's 7. I have a 5 yr old boy that will prolly ask once and I'll just tell him it's nature. That's how some mommies feed their babies. Just like a baby calf or puppies etc.. Lol

On the subject, but off the subject... This weekend at a county fair, we seen a woman with her shirt half off walking around the fair breastfeeding. she was in no way trying to cover up and you could literally see every inch of her size FF breast, except the nipple. It was terrible. There were children running around everywhere and luckily I seen her before my son did and I caught his attention to distract. I'm all for breast feeding, not so much for public indecency...

Breasts shouldn't be as sexualized as they are. She was using them for what they are intended to be used for - feeding her child. Not every kid will feed with a cover and there's not exactly a clean place to run and hide at a country fair to breastfeed.

OP, I agree about using animals. Or you can write a short script up that you and your husband look over and agree is appropriate for your son. My nephew got the full scientific reason for his little brothers feeding at 5 years old because he's just that science driven kid. It was age-appropriate, but not sugar coated either.

nmwheel1 · September 2015

My daughter will only be 2 so I don't think I have to say anything beyond this is how we were made to feed babies.
On another note, a friend's 4 year old pulled my nursing cover up at the park when my daughter was a baby and I was nursing her to ask what I was doing!! It was pretty funny, I just told her I was feeding her this way because she didn't like bottles (the 4 year olds baby sister was bottled fed). Her mom couldn't believe she hiked up my nursing cover, it was funny, but they are just curious at that age!

aleecats · September 2015

Motomama67 said:

On the subject, but off the subject... This weekend at a county fair, we seen a woman with her shirt half off walking around the fair breastfeeding. she was in no way trying to cover up and you could literally see every inch of her size FF breast, except the nipple. It was terrible. There were children running around everywhere and luckily I seen her before my son did and I caught his attention to distract. I'm all for breast feeding, not so much for public indecency...

Well first you SAW a woman not seen. But second if she wasn't walking around shirtless or openly trying to flash people she wasn't being indecent in public, she was feeding her child. And no it was not "terrible" it was uncomfortable for YOU. in which case don't look or turn away.

dapoint23 · September 2015

I just tell my 2 year old that human and animal babies eat from their mommies... on a humorous note he recently told a waiting room full of people that mommy's boobies will be New Baby's lunch

Shelby14 · September 2015

I have a 5 year old son who knows that babies drink "mamas milk" and that the milk comes from breasts. I've told him that I can put some of that milk into bottles once in a while and he can feed his baby brother. It's fairly simple really!

I am happy to have him see babies being breastfed so that he will hopefully be a supportive partner some day if he has a female partner who chooses to breastfeed. If we normalize breastfeeding for little boys we will have a generation of men who see it as normal

urby87 · September 2015

My SS is 8, and I explained that some moms use bottles, but some make milk for their babies and feed them with their breasts. He might have questions later, but for now he seems cool with it.

lulamagoo · September 2015

OP, I think you are over thinking it:)

Even if he shares his new knowledge with his class, no worries, it is how all other mammals feed their young. You could even make it a science lesson about what makes a mammal a mammal.

Let him know that you might need help while feeding the baby and ask if he is willing do so. I also agree with pumping a bottle every once in a while for him to feed the baby.

MadBloom · September 2015

Just tell him you're feeding the baby! Explain that some babies are fed their moms milk and other babies are fed with a bottle (moms milk or formula) and it's different for every family.

I'm lucky because my first is so young. She'll be 18 months old and honestly if I hadn't dried up when I got pregnant this time I would most likely still be nursing her now. I won't have to do any explaining (I don't think anyways haha).

I remember when my nieces first saw me breast feed they were very curious but I just told them my daughter was drinking milk from my boob and they accepted it. They were kindergarten and grade 3 aged.

nbpa3027 · September 2015

This is one of those situations where you always start with the simplest answer and then move on from there if they have more questions. If there are questions, make sure you are directly answering the question he is asking and go with the simplest, shortest, most basic answer first. I think as adults we tend to make things much more complicated. I also think that we try to over prepare for possibly awkward conversations with kids.

I think the animal comparison is great because he probably has seen some sort of reference to an animal feeding it's baby.

CharminglySouthern · September 2015

@Motomama67 Did you actually ask this woman her bra size? Or is this a talent you have? I would never presume to guess what cup size a perfect stranger was. You must have been staring pretty hard and for more than a few seconds.

HellsAngel22 · September 2015

My 8 year asked the same question. About how will I be feeding the baby. So I thought it was fair I was honest with him. As he asked an honest question.
So I told him this.
Mummy will be breastfeeding your sister for a while which means instead of getting milk out of a bottle she will get the milk out of mummies breasts.
His response was "oh ok mummy. So when she's abit older will you be giving her a bottle so I can help feed her"
I said to him yes probably but the milk will still come from mums breast.
He was fine with it & then went on To play.

I believe that if your child asks an honest question & they are old enough for an honest simple answer then by all means give it to them.

mamavbs · September 2015

I'm all for honesty in this situation. My four year old asked me how the baby would come out and I told him. I wasn't graphic, I kept it appropriate but i explained where baby would be coming out from. I also told him some babies need help and come out of a belly instead (he's a section baby) showed him my scar... His reaction was "oh cool. Can I play playdoh now?". There are lots of things in this world that I dull down for him because he's so young and doesn't need to know the horrors of the world in detail just yet. But if everyone was completely honest with their kids, "yeah mummy's make milk when they have a baby and some mummy's choose to feed their babies this", maybe breastfeeding wouldn't be such a sexualised taboo.

If you do want to involve them, there are other ways. Helping get you burp clothes and stuff for a diaper change. If you did want to express later then he could help with that. And weaning is actually a fun time to get older kids more involved- he will find it hilarious watching baby's reactions to new tastes and it will encourage baby too!

Gapeach83 · September 2015

As PP Said tell him you feeding baby plain and simple. I said this once to DD1 and she was 4 that's all it took. She was like really? And ask if she was fed that way which she wasn't because I could never get her to latch. I wouldn't worry about a long explanation unless they ask for it. Then use the animal explanation.

Barker2+1 · September 2015

Thanks guys! You are all right I am over thinking this. I told DH your suggestions about animals and we are gonna plan a trip to one of his fraternity brothers farms where they raise sheep. They have some that are bottle fed and some that nurse off their Mommas. dS is an extremely visual kiddo so I think seeing another mammal breastfeeding will make it click for him. I do plan to pump some so DH can bond and feed her so I will let him know that there will be opportunities for him to help! Thanks again I know when it comes to biology I way over think things and sometimes forget about the very simple explanations needed you ladies to remind me. I want him to understand and not be embarrassed to see me nursing his sister at his basketball games and such and I think him seeing it in the natural world will also help with that after all it is how we were designed!

jsawicki · September 2015

I agree with many of the women on here. Just be honest. This isn't something to stress about at all. Tell him that when the baby is older he can help feed but that the baby will be eating milk that comes from your breast because that's what breasts are for:)

mrsgabus · September 2015

I am usually a formula mommy due to medication and personal choice. But this time I am EP for the first 6 weeks (If I can) and then formula.

I explained it to my oldest in a cow reference just in case he sees me pumping or what not. I don;t think it needs to be a large deal or conversation. As long as our children know that breastfeed and formula feeding are completely normal

vomitrosa · September 2015

Funny thing about this topic, we were at Babies r' us and my 6 1/2 year old daughter ran up with the WTE book opened to the breastfeeding page and was just horrified and grossed out that there was a boob on a baby....I immediately realized I have to figure out how to explain this to her.

MyCousinVinny · September 2015

Motomama67 said:

you can always pump and store and he can help feed her via bottle. I don't think it will need much explaining. He's 7. I have a 5 yr old boy that will prolly ask once and I'll just tell him it's nature. That's how some mommies feed their babies. Just like a baby calf or puppies etc.. Lol On the subject, but off the subject... This weekend at a county fair, we seen a woman with her shirt half off walking around the fair breastfeeding. she was in no way trying to cover up and you could literally see every inch of her size FF breast, except the nipple. It was terrible. There were children running around everywhere and luckily I seen her before my son did and I caught his attention to distract. I'm all for breast feeding, not so much for public indecency...

To the bolded, so you could see the exact same thing looking at a Victoria's Secret advertisement or women in bikinis at the beach.

Your response leads me to believe that you associate breasts strictly as sexual objects and while you're entitled to your feelings, it's this very approach that aids in fueling the breastfeeding in public debate. Breasts are made to feed our young- same as animals. It is no one's responsibility but your own to educate yourself on human anatomy and the purpose of each organ. If you choose to associate it with something entirely different than what it was made for, well, that's your issue.

It's also your responsibility to not only educate yourself but your children as well. Them seeing a woman breastfeeding isn't bad- in fact, it's a wonderful opportunity to educate them as well. By shielding them away from it, you're perpetuating the notion that breastfeeding in public is a shameful act and one that is inappropriate. When it's not, at all.

Public indecency is quite another act than the one of breastfeeding.

FilbertTree · September 2015

Motomama67 said:

On the subject, but off the subject... This weekend at a county fair, we seen a woman with her shirt half off walking around the fair breastfeeding. she was in no way trying to cover up and you could literally see every inch of her size FF breast, except the nipple. It was terrible. There were children running around everywhere and luckily I seen her before my son did and I caught his attention to distract. I'm all for breast feeding, not so much for public indecency...

I wonder whether your problem here is because she was breastfeeding, or because she dared to be comfortable with a body type that clearly you dont believe deserves to be seen in public. Would you be so outraged if the mom in question was a petite B cup?
Also, and Im sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong, but my understanding was that public indecency was the exposure of genitals. Breast tissue and genitalia are not the same thing...

Ceridwen77 · September 2015

Motomama67 said:

On the subject, but off the subject... This weekend at a county fair, we seen a woman with her shirt half off walking around the fair breastfeeding. she was in no way trying to cover up and you could literally see every inch of her size FF breast, except the nipple. It was terrible. There were children running around everywhere and luckily I seen her before my son did and I caught his attention to distract. I'm all for breast feeding, not so much for public indecency...

Others have been so much more eloquent than I would like to be in response to your preposterous comment above. I'm going to have to hold back what I really want to say. But honestly, public indecency? Are you kidding me?

There's an issue in this country with over-sexualization, and you're contributing to the problem. Way to go with that.

VexedMommy · September 2015

Motomama67 said:

... Lol On the subject, but off the subject... This weekend at a county fair, we seen a woman with her shirt half off walking around the fair breastfeeding. she was in no way trying to cover up and you could literally see every inch of her size FF breast, except the nipple. It was terrible. There were children running around everywhere and luckily I seen her before my son did and I caught his attention to distract. I'm all for breast feeding, not so much for public indecency...

I honestly hope that I can be as fearless as that mother you saw. I worry that this time (like last time) I will be shamed into feeding my child in a dirty rest room, walking with her hungry and screaming to an area without other people like my car/nursing room, or giving up breastfeeding altogether because it's just too difficult to do if I'm not at home all the time. I am hopeful that this time I will be courageous enough to feed my child in a way that benefits our bonding and health while we're out and about living our lives.

abrink63 · September 2015

Motomama67 said:
you can always pump and store and he can help feed her via bottle.

I don't think it will need much explaining. He's 7. I have a 5 yr old boy that will prolly ask once and I'll just tell him it's nature. That's how some mommies feed their babies. Just like a baby calf or puppies etc.. Lol

On the subject, but off the subject... This weekend at a county fair, we seen a woman with her shirt half off walking around the fair breastfeeding. she was in no way trying to cover up and you could literally see every inch of her size FF breast, except the nipple. It was terrible. There were children running around everywhere and luckily I seen her before my son did and I caught his attention to distract. I'm all for breast feeding, not so much for public indecency...

Please forgive me for being quick to judge you, but since you did not give this women the decency to not do so, I have no hard feelings about it.

I'm assuming you work in lingerie. Otherwise I find it "terrible" and "indecent" to stare at a woman FEEDING HER CHILD long enough to evaluate and be offended by her breast size.
I find it disgusting that a mother, or mother to be, would say such things about another mother using her body to feed her child. Please educate yourself.

Cook3133 · September 2015

When it comes to the OPs question I just say tell him the truth, your giving him ️mommy milk. My boys 5 & 3 are both on board with moms boobs are for baby to eat. I'll be honest it felt awkward the first time they saw me pump to tell them what I was doing but it was just something new for them and as long as I didn't make a big deal over it neither did they.

On the other topic I some what have to agree with the entire boob hung out. But that just comes from me being more modest. Personally I am all for BF and don't think we should hide. But I don't think we need to be fully exposed either. Again that is just my own personal modesty opinion. I just don't need anyone starting at my boobs while I'm nursing. I would have found a bench and sat down and covered part of my breast. Doesn't have to cover baby, my first hated being covered to. But that's just my UO. I've nursed in many public places, when shopping I just feel more comfortable doing it in a dressing room or my car.

I was appalled one day when I watched a mother walking into Walmart full boob hanging out nipple and all showing while nursing her NB (or at least under 2-3wks old). But I think that had more to do with the fact that it was the middle of freakin winter, raining out, she had on a spaghetti strap tank and baby wasn't even covered properly for the weather. They both could of gotten sick! And it's Walmart! Full of germs. Personally I think this women should have nursed her baby in her nice warm car.

aleecats · September 2015

Cook3133 said:
When it comes to the OPs question I just say tell him the truth, your giving him ️mommy milk. My boys 5 & 3 are both on board with moms boobs are for baby to eat. I'll be honest it felt awkward the first time they saw me pump to tell them what I was doing but it was just something new for them and as long as I didn't make a big deal over it neither did they.

On the other topic I some what have to agree with the entire boob hung out. But that just comes from me being more modest. Personally I am all for BF and don't think we should hide. But I don't think we need to be fully exposed either. Again that is just my own personal modesty opinion. I just don't need anyone starting at my boobs while I'm nursing. I would have found a bench and sat down and covered part of my breast. Doesn't have to cover baby, my first hated being covered to. But that's just my UO. I've nursed in many public places, when shopping I just feel more comfortable doing it in a dressing room or my car.

I was appalled one day when I watched a mother walking into Walmart full boob hanging out nipple and all showing while nursing her NB (or at least under 2-3wks old). But I think that had more to do with the fact that it was the middle of freakin winter, raining out, she had on a spaghetti strap tank and baby wasn't even covered properly for the weather. They both could of gotten sick! And it's Walmart! Full of germs. Personally I think this women should have nursed her baby in her nice warm car.

The issue with the other topic wasnt that it bothered her, personally I wouldn't feel comfortable BF in public at all, but that ME and MY comfort level. I've already made the conscious choice to pump before I go out with LO. but if I saw a woman that was fully comfortable with BF I would never say it as "terrible" or "disgusting" because it's not. It's natural and she's doing exactly what her body is made to do.
It's okay to personally feel you couldn't do it but to say another woman shouldn't or can't because YOU don't like it or YOU aren't comfortable with it is what's wrong and terrible. And I'm using a general you not specific you.

PetitNightingale · September 2015

thegingeravenger said:

you can always pump and store and he can help feed her via bottle. I don't think it will need much explaining. He's 7. I have a 5 yr old boy that will prolly ask once and I'll just tell him it's nature. That's how some mommies feed their babies. Just like a baby calf or puppies etc.. Lol On the subject, but off the subject... This weekend at a county fair, we seen a woman with her shirt half off walking around the fair breastfeeding. she was in no way trying to cover up and you could literally see every inch of her size FF breast, except the nipple. It was terrible. There were children running around everywhere and luckily I seen her before my son did and I caught his attention to distract. I'm all for breast feeding, not so much for public indecency...
Breasts shouldn't be as sexualized as they are. She was using them for what they are intended to be used for - feeding her child. Not every kid will feed with a cover and there's not exactly a clean place to run and hide at a country fair to breastfeed. OP, I agree about using animals. Or you can write a short script up that you and your husband look over and agree is appropriate for your son. My nephew got the full scientific reason for his little brothers feeding at 5 years old because he's just that science driven kid. It was age-appropriate, but not sugar coated either.

This. Why is it that nobody complains about a pair of great knockers on a billboard for a beer commercial? But breasts actually doing their natural function....indecent. Gross. Terrible.

America needs to grow up.

To your question, OP, I say tell him the honest truth. He is going to find out sooner or later and it is better that he hear it from you--you can also tell him this is not talk to take to school with you. My little brother is 3 years younger than me and one day I asked and my mother just told me. I think he can take it.

Falchas · September 2015

Everything that has been said in response to public breastfeeding has been spot on, can't think of anything else to add except that I found it pretty amusing that this "terrible" "indecency" happened at a county fair. Now maybe where the poster lives is a much more physically fit locale than where I am, but I have been to quite a few fairs, State and otherwise, and have been much more shocked by the, um, cup size and comfort with display from the male population of my state. You know those tank tops with the wide arm holes...why, men, why? Give me a nursing mom any day. Actually, I wouldn't care if my son saw a topless woman walking around, nursing or not, boobs are great. But then again, I am in the I-hate-bras right now phase, so maybe I just want to promote the look.

babybean0015 · September 2015

My DD is 8 and she saw an insert in a magazine of a mom breastfeeding her baby. With the look of shock and curiosity on her face, I explained that we are mammals and we breastfeed our babies. I then gave her examples of how we get our milk from cows and how kittens get milk from mamma cats etc...she said "oh" and that was it!

poupoule · September 2015

I was 7 when my mother had my brother, I definitely knew she was breastfeeding, I never asked to feed him but I could help to do other stuff, they also gave me a really realistic baby boy doll, which I played a lot with, crazy realistic, really.

But she made me try the milk, because I was curious and wanted to, I still remember the taste today and I definitely stayed away from it afterward ahah.

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