SIL & epidural VENT!!

LoveLee85 · September 2015

Omg if she asks me one more time if I'm getting an 'evil' epidural I will explode! The best part is she has a son and wasn't able to get an epidural because they couldn't get the anesthesiologist to the room in time....she was furious she didn't get one for MONTHS!!!!!! Now all the sudden, she talks about how it was the best experience of her life not getting one. Umm, okay. I don't remember asking you about it, or for your opinion on if I'm getting one?! She keeps constantly trying to talk me out of it. WTH, I said flat out I'm getting one no questions asked. Now she's trying to make me feel like a terrible mom for wanting one. It's ALL she talks about.
"You will regret it"
"I feel I'm a better mom because I didn't"
"Soooo...you aren't still getting one are you?"
"Did you make up your mind on the epidural??"

Omg I never asked for your opinion, once! I never said Its up for debate! I said I'm walking in the hospital doors asking for it! Now please go away and quit making me feel like I shouldn't have one, or that I will be a bad mom if I get one?!?! How are the two things even correlated?!

BRitchie87 · September 2015

I got one after 6 hours of hell. I should have asked sooner. They aren't evil, they're just a pain relief option. A heavenly one, in my opinion.

Next time she asks, ask her why she feels it's any of her business? Your body, your baby, your pregnancy, your delivery. She wants to have babies with no epi? Great, get started. But since she didn't put baby in there and isn't getting baby out....She gets no say on your labor.

mrseh5 · September 2015

I got one in my first delivery and it was a disaster, dropped my blood pressure so low I passed out repeatedly. So didn't have one with my second baby. The pain relief it offers is amazing but the side effects for me aren't worth it.

rebeccabloomwood · September 2015

I personally would likely just shut her up by telling her what she wants to hear. It will likely stun her and then I'd just do what I want. It's really none of her business anyway.

kanga915 · September 2015

Just say point blank that it's none of her business and tell her not to ask about your birth plan again. Repeat if necessary.

WDDCH · September 2015

Everyone's an expert right?! So unbelievably frustrating. I'd probably tell her, "I'm a big girl who can make pain relief and birth decisions on my own, thanks!" Glad it worked out in her favor, after she processed her birth (it can take a long time to process and accept or deny the things that happened in your birth) but everyone is different and isn't going to want a med-free birth.

AndieTessie · September 2015

I hate the mom shaming over this issue. My goal is to not get one, but I don't see the big deal if someone does. Your birth plan is none of her business. Getting an epi or not does not make you more or less than a mom!

CaboBride2015 · September 2015

If it was me I probably would have lost it on her by now. People can be such judgemental aholes.

paine0925 · September 2015

Omg!!! Every woman should make this decision for herself and not give a flying rats ass what another woman does! Please don't let her make you feel bad about this, this is just a classic example of women tearing each other down instead of supporting one another!! My birth plan is to not get one but heck that could change in an instant! And who freakin cares if it does! Each delivery is different, each experience is different, each woman is different. I have a friend who had two literally PAINLESS natural quick births. I also have a friend who had a 51 hour labor that was so excruciating she thought she was going to die and the epidural was the only way she could get thru. So many factors go into these things, dilation, the size of your hips, genetics, etc - how can we compare any woman's birth to another!? I support you 100% mama, please hold your head high knowing you are doing exactly what YOU need, screw your SIL!!!

venegac14 · September 2015

I feel you my MIL explains all the time how her four deliveries were easy and pain free and how she didn't have an epidural as she don't want me to get one!!! After taking her crap for more than 5 months I politely turned to her with a big ol smile and said " it's my baby, my body, whether you agree or not I'm getting an Epi so there is no need for discussing anymore" After that she has not touched that subject since then and I am glad she hasn't because hormones are outrageous at times and don't wanna say something that I will regret!!

ljhans · September 2015

That is sooo annoying! I hate that you have to hear that from her! You do what you are comfortable with! She needs to just stop it with the judgment. Don't even feel like you have to defend your decision. That's just crazy!

LoveLee85 · September 2015

The weirdest part is that I have never had issues with her! Not even once! We aren't super close by any means, and I just can't believe she won't drop it. Thank you for the kind words. I'm not insecure with my decision for an epi, LOL, it was part 1 of my birth plan from before I was pregnant. No shame here. I don't think there is a single difference other than bragging rights for moms who don't get one! Who cares?! I'm avoiding her because of it.

slp213psu · September 2015

The nurse told my friend in her labor "You don't win a medal for going natural." My friend told me that at my baby shower for my first. It stuck. That was the end of my epidural guilt. I tried, it hurt, I got it. I'm going to try without again this time, probably get it, and that's that.

Atlasmom · September 2015

A few of my friends gave me the "I'm a better mom because I went natural" speech. They are FTM's and have never had an epi. So not sure how they are coming up with that conclusion. Do whats right for you and baby. Forget the rest.

jwebbbber45678 · September 2015

The only thing that matters is that labor ends with a healthy baby. It shouldn't matter how it happens. She should be proud that she had a healthy baby, and that's your goal as well so who cares how it happens! Maybe she's harping on this one aspect of motherhood to overcompensate for other insecurities she is undergoing as a new mother.