Need advice - inattentive doctor

mandyhrob · September 2015

Hi friends!

I have a conundrum i need advice on, and my guess is one of you gals has been in this situation before and can shed some light.

I'm 21 weeks in with my first baby, a little boy (over the moon!). Of course, this being my first time, i have no idea what's going on, what to expect, what's next - apart from what i've read in three or four often-conflicting books.

That said, i always come to my appointments with a good long list of questions for my doc. As any organized/terrified first time

Since the beginning of my time with her, i've felt very rushed in every appointment. I know she's busy, but this last time (21-week anatomy scan, so of course i had a LOT of questions) she actually got up mid question and started walking towards the door. When i told her i had a few more questions, she went and sat back down. was SO weird. One of my questions was about a glucose screening. She said, 'oh, yes, you're 21 weeks, so you should do that at your next appointment. work with the front desk and they'll get you all set up with the beverage, etc.' - so, if i hadn't had asked, who knows if she would have mentioned it (not likely, as she was one foot out the door) and i would have missed the opportune window to get it done at my next appointment.

My husband, who in the past has dismissed my comments about how rushed i've felt at appointments in the past FINALLY agreed with me that this one was a bit ridiculous (validation!). However, i am not sure the best way to proceed. Do i bring it up to her? And then the rest of our appointments and - God forbid our delivery experience - may be incredibly awkward? Or do i just chalk it up to the fact that she's busy and i need to do my research on the side, as i have been, and just hope that nothing slips through the cracks (which is a lot of pressure on someone like me). Another worry, of course, is during delivery - will she be this rushed then? Will i not get the attention that i deserve during this crucial time? Will i be rushed into a c-section if labor takes - God forbid - longer than she has in her schedule?

Advice please! Thank you all so much.

UptownPearl · September 2015

Honestly I would be searching for a new doc ASAP. My midwives are 100% available for phone calls, extra visits, and however much time I need with them at appointments. They care about me and my baby and my comfort. They even know where I work and ask questions about my personal life just to create a close relationship. I'm not saying you have to find the same thing, I'm just saying I would be really unsatisifed if I were you and would find a better fit.

Ju111310 · September 2015

Hmm well it is never nice to feel rushed. But when you say that you always come with a "long" list of questions, exactly how long is this list? Are you asking questions that could be answered by the nurse during triage? At my OB office, the nurses and office staff are always the ones to mention and ensure that glucose test, screenings, ultrasounds etc are scheduled at the appropriate time during the pregnancy. The dr is usually in the room with me for 2-5 minutes. STM here and the 5 minute visits usually included cervical checks in the last few weeks. Granted, she knows I'm a health care provider myself and I rarely have any questions for her.

In reality, for an uncomplicated prenatal appointment you are alloted a ten or fifteen minute time slot depending on the practice. This is including the dr's charting time. Are you consistently expecting more than that? If so, I think it would be best to gently (aka don't be dramatic, angry, or crying) mention to the dr that you realize you have a lot of questions but you feel rushed at your appts and wonder if there's a better time to book your appt so that she would have an extra minute to sit and go over your concerns. Like first thing in the morning, first appt after lunch or last appt in the afternoon. I'm sure she'd be nice about it.

I wouldn't worry about being rushed during labor. The doctors aren't usually there with you during labor, the nurses keep them updated on how you're progressing and the dr is just called in for the actual pushing/delivery. Hope that helps!

mandyhrob · September 2015

Thank you!

Yesterday was my 'longest' list and i had 7 questions. They were specific to my pregnancy and history (my marginal placenta and what it means/next steps, previous leep risks, what kinds of exercises are safe (knowing my shortened cervix), and asking about a few specific pains i was having) ... so really, nothing too extensive and nothing that, specific to my pregnancy, i could get online or from books.

Ju111310 · September 2015

Sounds to me like you're definitely not being unreasonable or asking silly questions. If you like your provider, other than the rushing, just keep being persistent and don't let her get out the door before you get all your answers! & Like I said before, don't hesitate to bring it up & let her know how you're feeling.

Monilee1017 · September 2015

My appointments have never been more then a 15 minute scheduling block with the doctors, and I had some issues with my boys. Does your office have some type of a website where you can communicate with your doctor. If these are not questions that need to be asked in person can you send them to her on your time and she can respond when she has the time.

enkb · September 2015

After reading several posts about women being unhappy with their docs, I am starting to feel like midwifery care really may be more what alot of us are wanting. It really is typical to get 5-10 mins with the doc at each appointment, and I don't think there's really a way around it, that is just what ob care is now. If that is truly not what you want, you may have to look for something that is not ob care.

My personal experience with my midwife thus far has been wonderful, I am a high anxiety ftm and none of my appts with her have been less than 45 mins long. Last appt I brought both my parents, who wanted to meet her and feel comfortable with her qualifications and she talked with all of us for 2 hours! When I call between appts with questions, I always talk direct to her, and never feel rushed. I am sure not all midwives are like this, but its significantly more likely than with an ob.

If that is truly something you want it is not too late to make a change in your care provider. If you don't want to change to a non-ob, I think unfortunately this is what you will get. Sorry you are dealing with this and I hope you find some way to either make a change or feel better about it.

mandyhrob · September 2015

Thank you everyone! i think it's comforting to know that this is just typical ob care... and i'm not alone on it. I think just not worrying if i'm 'taking up her time' each appointment and ensuring my questions get answered will be the route i take... and then for #2, i may decide to go a different route. I never even thought about midwifery as an option, to be honest, but a friend of mine had an awesome experience with one. Maybe it is more up my alley!

thanks again for all the comments - really appreciate it!

TifVB · September 2015

Ummm...this is NOT typical for me. I have ?s and the Dr has always answered all of my questions and concerns along with pamphlets and even has her nurse go and pull things off the Internet to give to me. If I have a question and I am at home I can call and leave a message on the Drs nurses voicemail and she always gets back to me within the day...the nurse does. I am never rushed out and she (Dr) always has questions for me as well. I was a crazy person from 6-12weeks because I kept thinking I might miscarry so she saw me every 2 weeks so I could hear the heartbeat and have confirmation that she was still there...the dr told me that anytime she is in the office and I felt concerned to come in and we would listen to her heart. (6weeks because that is when I found out I was pregnant and until 12 weeks because I could feel her moving and I wasn't concerned anymore)
This is my 2nd baby and this same dr delivered her as well. My dr is part of a big practice and from what I have heard every dr in her practice is the same way. I would say she (dr) is around 55-60yrs old...maybe that is why she takes her time?

maddisonwallace · September 2015

I've have two appointments with my doctor and felt the exact same way. She was very rushed, never asked me if I had questions, didn't give me the chance to ask questions, etc. So my last visit as she started to get up I just literally stood up between her and the door and asked my questions. I have rh - blood and had a nurse call me who didn't explain it, then when I got there the doctor just handed me a pamphlet.... So I stood there and made her explain it to me. But in the mean time I had already forgotten about the questions I had planned to ask her... I love my nurse there so I'm just going to start asking her questions and that way she will be able to tell me info before I have the chance to forget it AND remind the doctor to talk to me about it. Very annoying. But I'm 19 weeks and I don't feel like changing doctors now because it can be so hit or miss.

cameronreed · September 2015

My doctor literally walks in, asks how I've been feeling, feels on my belly, listens to the heartbeat and is out the doors. 5 minutes tops! So, I imagine this is pretty normal.

amargaret24 · September 2015

Usually the front desk has a calendar and knows when to schedule your appointments. My doctor gives me about 5 minutes of chat time but that's it. I'm okay with that because I think I've gotten my fair share of knowledge from TB and friends. As long as I feel the baby boppin' around, the scans are looking good, and I feel healthy....I'm not too worried. FTM here also.......

failuretofly · September 2015

I think this is fairly normal. Unfortunately it sounds like your doc is just extremely busy, and she very may well be running late on another appointment while staying to chat with you. You might be better off telling the clerk when you book your appointment to see if she can schedule you a few minutes extra or what the best time of day to make appointments is to get the max out of your visit. The problem is with a lot of health care providers, they schedule their days to maximize the amount of patients they can see and help, and plan on nothing going wrong, however in healthcare something inevitably always goes wrong somewhere, which takes time. I would bring up your concerns with her, and if she gets angry, or brushes you off, find another doctor. If she truly cares and is concerned about your welfare I would hope for an apology and possible explanation at minimum.

ChrissyD1203 · September 2015

I would either switch doctors (before I moved my old OB always did this and only after switching did I realize how much better it would be) or befriend a nurse in the doctor's office and go through questions with her and only save those that can't be answered for the doc. Good luck! I know how you feel and it stinks!

Blueyedsky · September 2015

Talk to her about it, if it doesn't go well you can always switch. My doc is absolutely amazing. Super nice and always always available for questions. So are the nurses. Maybe ask why she was so rushed and when can you schedule a time to just ask questions? That should at least get her thinking about it, plus it's entirely possible she got called to go deliver someone's baby.

mamakculb · September 2015

You can talk to her about it, but that would definitely irk me too. My doctor is the only one at his practice and never makes me feel rushed, returns phone calls himself, always asks if I have any questions or concerns. He sees me every appt and is just so sweet. Most of my appts aren't very long, but there have been times with both pregnancies that we've talked for a while when something was going on, he always makes sure I'm leaving comfortable with my care.
Prenatal care and birth shouldn't be a rush about business. You should be happy and comfortable with the person who's gonna be caring for you during the most emotional/crazy/scary/exciting time of your life! I would've looked into midwives but we just love my OB so much and his whole office is so sweet and personable we feel we get the same level of care and involvement.

mkatefin303 · September 2015

I adore my doctor (he also delivered DS) and had switched because I didn't like the first one, he's incredibly throrough and respectful and answers all my questions completely. OBs like that do exist and for something so important to think it's crucial to have someone you like! I would highly recommend switching

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