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SO making me feel bad for FF

lulubee85lulubee85 member
in Formula Feeding
is there anyone else who doesn't feel like they are getting support from their SO when switching from BF to FF?! We had a preemie who couldn't latch properly so I was stuck pumping instead of nursing...it was draining for me to be up feeding the baby every 3 hours then having to pump afterwards! I wasn't enjoying it at all, so I made the decision to FF. when I talked to my SO about it he got mad and said he was disappointed and that apparently his opinion doesn't matter!
It kills me that I don't have his support :(
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Re: SO making me feel bad for FF

  • BrianandKatie2012BrianandKatie2012 member
    This is essentially what I had to do and it was the best decision for myself and baby. Your husband should soon realize how much happier and healthier you both are!
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  • DrD30DrD30 member
    My husband was very tactful and sweet about it but was also hoping that I would keep breastfeeding and pumping.  By the time I would breastfeed my twins, offer bottles to supplement then pump I would be running into the next feeding!  They were also preemies (not by much) so we had to use nipple shields and I was taking meds to increase breastmilk production...It was a disaster.  

    To get him on my side I had him do all the bottle feeding while I pumped.  It didn't take long for him to want formula/bottle feeding so he could have some help.  He even went and bought a Baby Brezza :)
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  • FinallyHappy84FinallyHappy84 member
    You need to do whatever is best for your health! A happy healthy mom is just as important as a happy healthy baby. While many moms would like to BF sometimes it just isn't in the cards to and he need to realize that. Babies develop just as well on formula as they do breastmilk. I would sit him down and explain that to him and then have him go to the pediatrician with you. It's going to be okay because as long as baby is getting the nutrition they need, baby's grow just as well.
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  • SLGILL1978SLGILL1978 member
    I am sorry!
    I agree, that you need to do what's best for baby. 
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  • lulubee85lulubee85 member
    Thanks ladies! He seems to be coming around....or he just doesn't say anything about it because he doesn't want to upset me again! Lol!!
    Since being FF she has gained the most amount of weight in a week so she's almost back up to her birth weight!! As much as I wanted to breastfeed, I'm glad I made the decision I did!! It has its own extra work but at least I can do that extra work of making bottles during the day when I'm awake instead of pumping at 3am when I want to be sleeping lol
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  • NurseRiegerNurseRieger member
    Sorry SO was not supportive but glad to hear baby is doing well. I really wanted to breastfeed and when I was pregnant heard so much "it's gross why can't u just use organic formula? " he finally got over that and now LO is 7 weeks and I told him I'm starting a slow wean because it's just too much already and I'm going back to work full time next month. Then he was disappointed and went all breastmilk is so much better blah blah. I've got to pry the baby off of me every time because he would just nurse for hours! I just told him that's easy for him to say when it's not his nipples! He then said it's ultimately my decision and we are using Similac sensitive non-GMO and we are all happy now. You're the mother and you need to do what is best for you and baby, SO comes in 3rd place!
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  • eliseandbabyeliseandbaby member
    How did you manage to wean off the pump??
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  • eliseandbabyeliseandbaby member
    In going through this and I'm miserable
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    I was actually glad my husband pushed me a bit. He wasn't mean about it just supported me and said he'd wish I'd try a bit longer. I did and I am happy because we are still bfing at 7 weeks. It should be a joint decision I feel as its his child also and he wants to best for her.
    I can honestly say I'm happy with our decision.
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  • hmjb86hmjb86 member
    edited February 2016
    @eliseandbaby you can start by spacing out pump sessions (every 5hrs instead of 4) and drop the amount pumped (3oz instead of 4). It should signal your body to produce less milk since there will still be milk in your breasts at the end of each session.
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  • robinj716robinj716 member
    I'm glad I read this! I have struggled to have baby latch as soon as my milk came in. I would sit in the nursery for 1.5 hours trying to get him to eat at 3am. I would be falling asleep while sitting there. I started to pump and feed him that way just to sustain life. Even that is a huge task and so time consuming. 

    I have been stressing about whether or not to switch to FF. It's only been one week since baby arrived and everyone keeps telling me I am giving up too easily, but honestly my mental health has seriously declined over the BF thing. The last four days I've been crying and worrying and being negative and my SO finally said enough is enough. My anxiety has been through the roof and I feel like my role as a mom was declining. I think switching to formula will take one stress of this new mom thing away and I can be a better mom. 

    He's supportive and said that he is fine doing FF but he wants to make sure I'm 100% and doesn't want me to regret my decision if formula doesnt agree with baby. I considered pumping exclusively, but even the thought of that had me in angst. I worry about the effects of formula, but it can't be that bad, because if it was then they wouldn't be able to sell it. I have lots of friends who formula fed and their babies did just fine. 

    We have an appt. with pediatrician tomorrow so I'm going to tell her I've decided to switch to formula and get the ball rolling on that. I think it'll help my mental health and I can be a much better mom. 
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  • mrscammackmrscammack member
    @robinj716 this sounds so much like my experience. I felt so guilty that I "gave up" on breast feeding so early but my mental health was suffering so much and my poor little girl was starving and dehydrated from not getting enough milk. Once we switched she started thriving and our whole family has been much happier since. I feel like I can actually enjoy my daughter instead of stressing over breast feeding when it just wasn't working. I bet you and baby are much happier once you've made the transition :) 
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