New, PCOS diagnosis, feeling lost (children mentioned)

yellingbanana · September 2015

Hi there! Dh and I have been TTC for about a year and a half now. Last month I was diagnosed with PCOS and put in Metformin, letrozole, and given an HCG trigger shot for when I ovulate this cycle. I was also using Ovuquick kit to help know when I need to trigger. Just went to the Dr yesterday and it looks like I already ovulated this weekend even though I didn't get a positive LH surge according to Ovuquick. So I missed my chance to trigger because I ovulated day 11 or 12 unexpectedly. Normally I ovulate between cd 13-18, and normally my LH surge is detected! So now I'm feeling like I've wasted this cycle.
To make things worse, I've put my teaching career on the back burner. I graduated spring of last year, but dh and I decided we wanted to have a baby before I start work. So I became a licensed daycare provider, also so that I can be home with our 4yr old until she starts kindergarten next year. Now because baby isn't happening, I'll probably go to teaching next year, but feeling like I went on a mission and failed.
My two daughters were conceived within a normal amount of time, but we just want our last baby and it isn't happening. I keep reminiscing of my daughters when they were babies, and then taking care of daycare babies, and I feel like I'm surrounded by something that is just out of reach. Constant reminders.
I know I shouldn't feel bad because I've got my girls, but this struggle is difficult. It feels like all of my friends are getting pregnant and having babies, meanwhile I smile and say congrats. Inside it hurts though.

jnissa · September 2015

No, it's hard no matter what - even if you have a child. It's ok to own those feelings that you desperately want another one and can't seem to make it happen even if you have a child. Building a family is building a family - don't ever feel guilty about being sad if it's a struggle. Yes, it's important to practice thankfulness for what you have on a daily basis, but the emotions you're describing are very real ... and very valid.

We all dream of our perfect family and it's a dream that hurts more than anything when it turns into a struggle. I'm less than 24 hours away from getting my BFN confirmed, and even though my daughter is here in her playpen smiling at me and I know I'm lucky to have all thing things I have, it still hurts.

Chin up though! Nobody is ever truly out until they personally decide they're out and that the options they still have aren't the right ones for them. Wishing you the best of luck!

yellingbanana · September 2015

Thanks, it feels reassuring to know I'm not the only one out there. DH doesn't really like to talk about all of the testing, tracking, and medications that I'm doing. I can't tell you how much better it feels to know I'm not alone and that there are others who know this feeling.

Osteoblastic · September 2015

@yellingbanana my husband doesn't really talk about everything either, so that's why I came here. It has been really helpful for me so far, I hope it's helpful for you too.

And may I also say, I love your username. I saw it in the check-in thread and started laughing

Want a personalized experience?

New, PCOS diagnosis, feeling lost (children mentioned)

Re: New, PCOS diagnosis, feeling lost (children mentioned)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards