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January 2016 Moms
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So fed up

monie2323monie2323 member
in January 2016 Moms
is it just me or is anyone else's husbands lazy and still not accepting the fact that you're pregnant? I'm run down and starting to get horrible pains in my legs and back area. All I want is my boyfriend to bring the pieces together for under are bed and he has yet to do it. I'm so fed up, if he has the day off he doesn't need to wait for me to do it. I just can't take this anymore
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Re: So fed up

  • maddisonwallacemaddisonwallace member
    Currently waiting for my husband who just got out of the shower even though we should've left 10 minutes ago for my anatomy scan and he thinks it's some sort of joke. I feel you.
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  • monie2323monie2323 member
    Omg girl I know the feeling. The day we found out the sex he took his time completely and acted the same way :( are they ever going to understand?
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  • aphilli8aphilli8 member
    How old is he?

    Have you told him you're getting fed up lately?
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  • monie2323monie2323 member
    I guess I shouldn't make him sound this bad because he does do the cute little things here and there too but I just want my bed frame on is that too much to askkkk? Hahaha and he's 24
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  • CaraBoonieCaraBoonie member
    @mypeeps27 haha ditto, my husband is the same way...it's World War 3 to get the dishes done (both of us are lazy about housework, it's kind of a problem, whoops), but if it's important he does it, and since being pregnant he goes out of his way to make sure I'm comfortable...but our sink is still definitely full of dirty dishes right now ;)

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  • mypeeps27mypeeps27 member

    monie2323 said:
    I guess I shouldn't make him sound this bad because he does do the cute little things here and there too but I just want my bed frame on is that too much to askkkk? Hahaha and he's 24
    Sometimes men get lazy about things when they don't think it's as important as we do.
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  • mypeeps27mypeeps27 member
    CaraBoonie said:
    @mypeeps27 haha ditto, my husband is the same way...it's World War 3 to get the dishes done (both of us are lazy about housework, it's kind of a problem, whoops), but if it's important he does it, and since being pregnant he goes out of his way to make sure I'm comfortable...but our sink is still definitely full of dirty dishes right now ;)
    Yeah, so is mine and I swear I loaded the dishwasher TWICE in the last few days. He swears he has too, but I know he hasn't because I've done it. There's only two of us, I don't know how we make me so many dishes.
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  • AlabamaWorleyAlabamaWorley member
    Have you said, "Hey Honey, could you please put that bed frame on tonight? I would really appreciate it." or are you just expecting him to know that you want it done?
    You need to vocalize when things are bothering you before you get to a "fed up" level with your spouse.
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  • Beverly0628Beverly0628 member
    AlabamaWorley said:
    Have you said, "Hey Honey, could you please put that bed frame on tonight? I would really appreciate it." or are you just expecting him to know that you want it done? You need to vocalize when things are bothering you before you get to a "fed up" level with your spouse.
    This. I'm sorry that you are frustrated with your SO. But, it is your responsibility to communicate clearly your wants and needs. Hopefully, you are not relying on hints or little statements here and there to get your point across. Men do not pick up on those types of things at all.

     
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  • monie2323monie2323 member
    No yeah I've tried that. I just feel like pregnancy doesn't set in for guys until the baby comes and it's not exactly fair to some of us haha
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  • Krisdee123Krisdee123 member
    monie2323 said:

    No yeah I've tried that. I just feel like pregnancy doesn't set in for guys until the baby comes and it's not exactly fair to some of us haha

    I don't think that statement is correct. Your husband just needs to get his sh*t together. Most men are not like that, at least not in my experience.
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  • willashbabywillashbaby member
    Mine sure isn't.
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  • nackienackie member
    krisdee123 said:

    monie2323 said:

    No yeah I've tried that. I just feel like pregnancy doesn't set in for guys until the baby comes and it's not exactly fair to some of us haha

    I don't think that statement is correct. Your husband just needs to get his sh*t together. Most men are not like that, at least not in my experience.
    I agree, this pregnancy has definitely sunk I for my DH, but his way of dealing with stress/anxiety/major life changes is different than mine. I need to take that into account when asking him to do stuff, but as long as I make the effort to communicate in a way he responds to, he's happy to help wherever he can
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  • failuretoflyfailuretofly member
    willashbaby said:
    Communication is key. I've been with my DH a loooooooooong time and the most important thing I've learned in all this time is to air your grievances ASAP. If he's the kind of douche who won't listen then he's not husband or responsible parent material. Period. 
    I second this. I learned a long time ago that DH cannot read my mind. I used to get upset and he'd be all confused and say something like "Well how was I supposed to know that's what you wanted?", which was fair because I never actually vocalized what I wanted. Now I make sure to explain my concerns/fears early before I get too upset so we can talk about them and he usually takes care of them. 

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  • Kelley421Kelley421 member
    Sounds like it's not just a bed that's the problem- you don't get "fed up" over one thing he won't do, it's usually cumulative.
    There are men that are helpful and are true partners, and there are some that aren't and never will be.

    Two years, two losses and three IUIs...

    We are having TRIPLETS!

    EDD 1/26/16

     GGB born November 2015!


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  • CaraBoonieCaraBoonie member
    I don't know, it sounds like she was just venting about one thing, I don't think it necessarily indicates that he's a sh*t partner, not everybody is perfect every second of every day, it's normal to get pissed off at a partner and it doesn't mean that you don't have a great relationship or aren't supportive of each other. That said, people tend to tell you your partner is sh*t if you ever vent here, I'd suggest finding a friend to vent to instead, this board isn't the most welcoming place for complaining about a significant other.

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  • ccoleemanccoleeman member
    I think the board is supportive of significant other issues. Keep in mind we're being asked to make statements and inferences based solely on the information provided.

    If she was fed up that her SO was saying cruel things or refusing to attend appointments with her, she'd get a lot of "I'm sorry you're going through this". But all we know is she's fed up with him because he won't put a bedframe together. Hard to muster a ton of sympathy.

    I do, however empathize a little with your situation @monie2323. My DH is an electrical engineer specializing in "smart home" products-naturally the best person to review and select a baby monitor. I asked him to pick one a week ago so I can add it to the registry and he still hasn't done it. It's annoying and I hate nagging him, and I've been very direct with him that I'd like him to do it and by a certain time. I know he's invested in the pregnancy but I wish he had the same sense of urgency I do with getting things together.
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  • starree444starree444 member
    My husband is the complete opposite of this. As soon as we found out I was pregnant he told me he guessss he's gonna have to do everything now hah! He was kidding of course.

    He's always sympathetic when I'm in pain or not feeling well. He's fantastic. All men are different but I agree that communication is the key. We've been together for almost 8 years now and one of the first things we talked about was that the lines of communication are always open and nothing is off limits.
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