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July 2015 Moms
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MIL to stay over

jenni31jenni31 member
in July 2015 Moms
Help!! My MIL has three months of long service leave coming up and my DH has suggested that she would enjoy to stay with us for a little bit. Firstly we have never had overnight house guests, secondly I don't want to or have the time to entertain her while DH is at work as I have enough to do looking after & regularly BF my LO. I did suggest that she could stay for a night or two over a weekend but he wasn't keen on that & seemed insulted. I don't have any family members to stay not just in-laws. What's a polite way to either decline or only one or two nights when DH is here?
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Re: MIL to stay over

  • pandd10513pandd10513 member
    I wasn't thrilled when my MiL stayed over but after I BF baby I would hand her over to MIL and then I'd nap until she woke up. So I didn't have to spend too much time alone with her and I got some sleep. Try to take advantage of the extra hands!
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  • VTomanVToman member
    I agree with PP. You probably won't have to entertain her because she'll be plenty entertained with her grandchild. And, hopefully she'll be willing to help you out with baby so you can catch up on sleep or whatever else.
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  • jenni31jenni31 member
    On one hand the help would be good but ive never napped in the day and somehow function on a broken 5hrs sleep. I'm also still so attached to my DS (FTM here) that I wouldn't want to hand him over. I even miss him like crazy when my DH holds him. Also I'm quite shy and haven't BF with anyone around except DH, I'd feel rude asking her to leave while I do it, but I wouldn't move either, as I have my routine and areas. Sorry, feel like I'm rambling.
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  • wheresilenceismusicwheresilenceismusic member
    If you don't want her, definitely don't have her.  Now is not the time to feel beholden to social niceties.

    My DH did the same thing with me and my MIL -- I agreed to have her stay with us for a week.  She was so, so nice; she didn't do anything 'wrong'.  But… I wasn't comfortable with her here.  I couldn't walk around topless, couldn't relax in my apartment.  Worst of all?  I couldn't sleep!  I was so anxious with her visit (trying to entertain her, worried that she was judging me, paying attention to her rather than my baby) that during both day & night I couldn't sleep at all.  
    I think she sensed how I felt a little, which made it worse.  :(
    She's a fine woman -- I just wish that we'd never had it over.  I feel like I have to repair our relationship somehow.

    Good luck to you!
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  • crysr08crysr08 member
    Men do not understand how we feel about our days alone with our babies. Yes sometimes we get stressed out and would like their help but that does not mean we need their mothers. My husband did the same thing and invited his family... it didn't last long because I don't think they enjoyed me not entertaining. I wouldn't cook, left room with baby when I wanted. I stuck to my schedule and routine.
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  • ashleytiffashleytiff member
    @crysr08 I also have stuck to our routine and my husband thought I was hiding in the room from his mom.

    He doesn't get sticking to a routine this young but I definitely can tell the difference when he doesn't nap enough or go to bed at his usual time.
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