November 2015 Moms

Baby Shower Stress! Advice?

So I'm a FTM and when I told my family I was pregnant back in April, they kindly offered to throw me a baby shower. My mom asked me not to buy anything and to just put everything I planned to buy/wanted on my baby registry which I have done. Well I am now 28 weeks and am basically freaking out because all we have so far is a couple of outfits for the baby. When I asked my mom when the baby shower was, she told me she still wasn't sure, but would be sometime this month. I feel like we are completely unprepared for this baby, but my family keeps telling me we still have plenty of time. Is it odd to wait until the end of my pregnancy to get what we need? Can anyone else relate? Thanks.

Re: Baby Shower Stress! Advice?

  • It's been driving me a little batty too but I have been buying diapers and wipes and it seems to be distracting me a little bit... You will always need diapers.. No matter what kind of diapers your doing you will always need diapers!!!! And wipes too!
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  • I'm in the same boat. My shower is supposed to be at the end of next month but no invites have gone out yet. I'm wondering who will be able to attend with such short notice?! DH and I have bought the big ticket items ourselves because we didn't want our family to purchase such expensive things. Especially since the Inlaws are having 3 new grand babies in the matter of a year and a half! So I'm not panicked too much since we have the car seat, stroller, and crib. The essentials to bring her home and place for her to sleep.
  • Could your mom possibly be trying to plan a surprise shower for you?
    Either way, babies don't need a lot in the beginning. It might not be ideal, but it is really not a problem if you get what you need shortly before baby and getting it ready will keep you busy the last few weeks before baby (the last few weeks take forever).

    I think she is. I just always thought that by this point I would have everything I would need for the baby, but now I worry about her coming before I have time to get everything together. This month I've decided to secretly buy things here and there, and if I get a duplicate item at the shower I'll just return one of them. I just hate feeling so unprepared.
  • I also should mention I'll be 34 weeks the day of my shower, if it happens ;)
  • ASalton1 said:

    Could your mom possibly be trying to plan a surprise shower for you?
    Either way, babies don't need a lot in the beginning. It might not be ideal, but it is really not a problem if you get what you need shortly before baby and getting it ready will keep you busy the last few weeks before baby (the last few weeks take forever).

    I think she is. I just always thought that by this point I would have everything I would need for the baby, but now I worry about her coming before I have time to get everything together. This month I've decided to secretly buy things here and there, and if I get a duplicate item at the shower I'll just return one of them. I just hate feeling so unprepared.
    She's probably being vague because she wants to surprise you. It's pretty common to have a shower between 30-34 weeks. Not a great thought perhaps, but if the baby were to come this early, it definitely won't be coming home immediately, so you still have plenty of time.

    That said, nothing wrong with buying some basics if it makes you feel more prepared, just keep the receipts and act excited if you get something you already purchased!
  • jfrenes23 said:

    I'm in the same boat. My shower is supposed to be at the end of next month but no invites have gone out yet. I'm wondering who will be able to attend with such short notice?! DH and I have bought the big ticket items ourselves because we didn't want our family to purchase such expensive things. Especially since the Inlaws are having 3 new grand babies in the matter of a year and a half! So I'm not panicked too much since we have the car seat, stroller, and crib. The essentials to bring her home and place for her to sleep.

    All we have so far is a few cute outfits that we picked up after we found out we were having a girl. I've heard of moms waiting until 8 months to start shopping for the baby and I thought that was craziness. If I would have known the shower would have been this late into my pregnancy I would have definitely picked up a few more of her essentials (crib, car seat, etc.)
  • Thanks ladies for all of your great responses and advice. It makes me better knowing I'm not completely alone.
  • I would just buy some basics like others have said. You don't have to go too crazy but just to feel a little more prepared it wouldn't hurt anything
  • Our shower is in three weeks so I've been holding off on buying too much. We do already have a couple of the big things like car seat and stroller. How do you feel about a surprise shower? I would not be crazy about that as I'm a little OCD and would want to be dressed appropriately and have some input on the guest list. I think I'd ask your mom about it.
  • I know it's realllllyyyyy really hard, but try to give it a bit more time. I know as we're all either in the third trimester or (approaching it), that it feels like it's end game but we do still have time! I know I've been stalking my registry list like a nut job as I have 3 must haves on there that I'm already trying to start budgeting for, but am trying to be patient about it. Nesting is here and I find myself needing to stem off panic because of it. I've found DIY projects are making me feel better or at least one aspect to work on under the necessities (in my case I officially have been prepping my cloth stash so they're all good to go), maybe that might help you? I promise you baby will be set when they come; we don't need a lot to start.

  • I would be in the same boat too except my husband and I decided to buy the big items like the crib, glider, and dresser. Invites were finally mailed out for my shower this week (planned by my sisters), it will be on September 19th. I will be 34 weeks by then. You still have time! Just gotta make sure things will ship to you on time. My crib and glider both arrived within a week, I ordered them both off amazon.

      FTM due 11/06/2015
    Married 09/21/2013
  • I could say the baby needs very little stuff at first which is true, but if you are stressed out that is the really issue. Have you tried telling your mom that the not being able to plan is a real stress and worry for you? I am sure she is just trying to help and wants to do something nice for you.
  • I'm in the same boat. But mostly the lack of buying things for baby is because we're moving next week. She only has some clothes and books and that's it. My showers are next month, I have 3 one over labor day, one the end of Sept and the other in the middle of Sept. I plan on buying our big ticket items after the labor day shower, and then waiting until October for the smaller stuff. It'll all be okay. Don't give yourself even more to stress over.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I bought a few things that I knew I would need right away and they were on sale (always a good justification!) and then marked them as bought on my registry. Don't worry though, immediately after you can make returns and if need be place one big online order for the rest of your registry.
  • My shower is not until 36 weeks because that's when my MIL could make it from out of town. I wanted it earlier but heard that having it from 34-38 was the norm. Oh well. We bought our crib and dresser/changer. My mom bought our glider already and MIL bought our travel system. My pump should be arriving from insurance soon and I have a ton of clothes from family already.
  • Mine won't be until I'm 35 and 36. I'm a planner, so it is stressful. BUT, my SOs family recently went to an expo with gently used baby items and got us a travel system and a swing, and my mother bought us a crib months ago, so I feel better knowing he can come home and have space to sleep. Maybe just get an infant seat and a bassinet or swing you know LO can sleep in to feel more prepared?
    Me: 28 DBF: 30
    BFP#1 07/10/14 EDD 3/14/15 Diagnosed with Blighted Ovum 08/18/14
    BFP#2  3/17/15 EDD 11/22/15
       image  
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • The only absolute big ticket necessity you need when baby arrives is the car seat. I also highly recommend getting it installed by a trained technician or you local police department 2-3 weeks before your due date. And research how to properly secure your baby in it because our hospital did not help us. Anything else someone can run out and grab if your bundle surprises you a little early :)
  • So just another tip from me that has also helped me not lose my mind... I literally organize all I have for my baby probably 4 times a week.. It's just to distract myself from going out and buying more stuff.. However I did buy his Christmas outfit on zulily this morning... But maybe looking at what you have and trying to figure out its perfect placement in the nursery will help you..
  • I think I had my shower when I was 32 weeks with my first. You should be fine if it will be within the next month.
  • My shower with my son was when I was 34 or 35 weeks. He came early and we still had plenty of time to get everything all set. If you are really worried about having to spend a lot of money at once, start buying gift cards little by little.

    Babies really don't need very much in the beginning. As nice as it is to have a beautiful nursery all set up, you are still really early!

    This is my third and we are team green. We got rid of everything after my first two and All I have for this baby is about a half a dozen sleepers and a few receiving blankets, and a disassembled cradle in the garage. I am not the least bit concerned. Two + months is still a lot of time to get things ready!
  • Thank you ladies again for all of your comments and suggestions. I talked to my mom yesterday and she told me that she will 100% have a date set by tomorrow so I can start looking forward to it and to ease my mind. Starting this month, my fiancé and I are going to pick up one baby need per paycheck starting with her car seat and sleeper. Knowing that some of you ladies are in a similar boat eases my mind a lot. Sometimes I feel like I am going through this all by myself. Thank you all so much!
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