Outed by my boss!

mountainsmama · August 2015

So my boss came into my office this morning to talk about work and in the middle of a sentence noticed a yogi tea wrapper in my trash for "Mother to Be Tea"!

She freaked out but was very happy and supportive. I've been worried about how to tell her since I started a new job recently. Not exactly how I imagined it would go! I am only 8 weeks and was going to wait several more weeks to share the news.

Be careful with "evidence" of your pregnancy!

rebelone · August 2015

Yup. I have weaned myself off of coffee and the office knows I'm an avid coffee fan. Usually someone will offer to pour me a cup while they're pouring some. One day I said no thanks and they looked at me weird. So from now on, I make sure I have a cup already poured in front of me so they can see I already have a cup.

loveymay · August 2015

I called out of work twice this week....and my boss asked one of my coworkers if I was pregnant. Who does that? Calling out sick means you're pregnant apparently (well, in my case it does, haha!) im going to tell my boss the news next week. I guess I cant hide it too much longer, since my boss has started the rumor mill among my coworkers. Sheesh!

sarahufl · August 2015

loveymay said:

I called out of work twice this week....and my boss asked one of my coworkers if I was pregnant. Who does that? Calling out sick means you're pregnant apparently (well, in my case it does, haha!) im going to tell my boss the news next week. I guess I cant hide it too much longer, since my boss has started the rumor mill among my coworkers. Sheesh!

This is actually illegal. Your boss should not be discussing your pregnancy with your co-workers at all, but especially not if you haven't shared the information.

loveymay · August 2015

sarahufl said:

loveymay said:

I called out of work twice this week....and my boss asked one of my coworkers if I was pregnant. Who does that? Calling out sick means you're pregnant apparently (well, in my case it does, haha!) im going to tell my boss the news next week. I guess I cant hide it too much longer, since my boss has started the rumor mill among my coworkers. Sheesh!

This is actually illegal. Your boss should not be discussing your pregnancy with your co-workers at all, but especially not if you haven't shared the information.

I know its illegal for her to ask me if Im pregnant. I dont know what she is thinking, but It actually pissed me off. My husband didnt seem to think it was a big deal. I dont know my boss very well, only been working full time now for 2 months (was part time for 2 years though). I dont know how she will take the news. But yeah, I thought it was incredibly rude of her to go around asking my coworkers if i am pregnant.

emslade982 · August 2015

@sarahufl is 100% right. It's illegal. I would talk to your HR rep about this.

sarahufl · August 2015

You are well within your rights to file a report with HR about it- although I suspect that may make things worse. And it should piss you off- I would be furious.

How credible is the person who she asked? Do you think they would have any reason to lie/embellish?

I am SUPER sensitive to being gossiped about and SUPER sensitive about being pregnant (had a rough loss in March). If I got wind of something like this in my office, I would be headed straight to HR.

It is bad enough for ANYONE to gossip like this, but especially your boss.

Waterdrop · August 2015

I think it's only illegal if he directly asks you. If not its just gossip. I wouldn't get so bent out of shape about it, people gossip all the time and you want your boss on your side during this instead of creating waves.

sarahufl · August 2015

Waterdrop said:

I think it's only illegal if he directly asks you. If not its just gossip. I wouldn't get so bent out of shape about it, people gossip all the time and you want your boss on your side during this instead of creating waves.

Yeah, but your boss should not be gossiping about you.

pinottoparenthood · August 2015

I am a teacher and we did this big team-building retreat at the beginning of the year. My assistant principal sent a waiver we had to sign basically saying that many of the activities at the place we were going could be dangerous and you won't hold them liable if you are injured or killed... goody. It talked about zip lining, horseback riding, etc. etc. I FREAKED out and ended up going to my AP and telling her that I was pregnant, WAY sooner than I had planned on telling anyone at work, because sorry not sorry I'm not riding an effing horse or otherwise putting my baby in danger. Anyway, turns out we weren't doing ANY of the physical stuff and I basically told her for nothing. She was super nice about it and promised not to tell anyone else until I was ready, but every time Isee her in the halls she's all like "HOW ARE YOU FEELING!!!! HOW ARE YOU??!?!?!! I HOPE YOU GO HOME AND PUT YOUR FEET UP!!!! RELAX!!!" It's sweet but also not so subtle. Just hoping we can keep it under wraps for another month or so...

k425518 · September 2015

It is my understanding that it is illegal for your boss to discuss any medical condition you may or may not have with anyone but you. Even gossip. Maybe I'm confusing my company policy with legality but I know I could go to HR if my boss were to be discussing anything medical related about me with someone other than me (or HR).

sarahufl · September 2015

OP, what did you decide to do?

kmrort · September 2015

I told my boss last week. This is my second pregnancy with this job. She was very supportive and excited the first time around. She was giddy and nearly started jumping up and down for me this time. I decided to tell her because I knew how supportive she would be, I'm definitely showing, I have some very gossipy coworkers and wanted her to know directly from me. She said, "Make them all believe you let yourself go."

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