Community› The Bump Month Clubs› July 2015 Moms
July 2015 Moms
New Discussion

Too hard on MIL?! (long)

jacmariecjacmariec member
in July 2015 Moms
My mother-in-law is coming to town today and I've been a nervous wreck since I found out she was going to visit. She hasn't told me when she is showing up or how long she is staying but she did talk to my mother about it who gave me as much information as she had. MIL is arriving today and I don't know when so I'm trying to stay busy in the house to ensure that I'm here when she shows up. My husband is working long shifts this week and weekend so I will be here mainly the whole time alone with her and baby. I talked to my sister about it and she has agreed to come down for one night to help break the tension. I just don't know what to talk to my mother-in-law about and she worries me because she's a very anxious person. We are nothing alike and it's just hard for me to understand where she comes from as I'm sure it's hard for her to understand why I do things. I know when my mother is here it would be a lot different. Im sure it's because she has seen me grow up and understands my body language and nonverbals. I'm just not looking forward to my mother-in-law's visit I can't seem to get the funk out of my head around her visit. I know she wants to see her grandson since she lives seven hours away and I should respect that and support her. I just need to get my mind around the fact that her visit is temporary. I wish I didn't feel this way but I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'd rather her not come around. Anyone else feel this way or know how to get these negative feelings out of the way?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Too hard on MIL?! (long)

  • jmucc421jmucc421 member
    I would be annoyed that she didn't give you any details like when she's coming, etc. I really have no advice, as I feel the same negative emotions toward mine (sometimes justified, sometimes not) but mine lives in town and visits frequently..I just try to tell myself that it's her grandchild
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • jmucc421jmucc421 member
    Afterthought..I also try to tell myself to treat her like I would want my mom to be treated (my mom and I are SUPER close which my mil is very jealous of)
    Report Reply
  • beccer123beccer123 member
    Look at the bright side. She might be very helpful for you as well! My MIL would be.
    Report Reply
  • ashleytiffashleytiff member
    I hope your experience is better than mine. My mil came yesterday, a day earlier than expected and it's been a downward spiral since.
    Report Reply
  • eclohoecloho member
    My MIL only lives like 15 minutes away & she is still very considerate of us! She just text me this morning & asked if she could visit for a half hour around 1:00 this afternoon. She has never Fit the typical MIL stereotype in my mind. I feel very fortunate!! Best of luck to all you ladies & your MIL issues! I feel for you!!!
    Report Reply
  • jacmariecjacmariec member
    @ecloho you're definitely lucky. I'm hoping when we move back home and closer to her it will turn around for the better. Hopefully I won't have a follow up rant once she blesses us with her presence :D
    Report Reply
  • PurpleBookmarkPurpleBookmark member
    That's so weird that she didn't give you any details of her visit. Did she at least tell you and DH personally that she was coming to begin with?

    I am a socially anxious person so if I'm nervous about interacting with someone I try to come up with a list of things to talk about.  For example, her work, a recent vacation, any hobbies.  FWIW I actually find it much easier socializing when you have kids, I'm sure your MIL will want to talk about the baby plus if you run out of things to talk about you can go change a diaper or feed baby.
    Report Reply
  • jacmariecjacmariec member
    Well she left already...here for a total of 18 hours. I'm confused.
    Report Reply
  • randa923randa923 member
    jacmariec said:

    Well she left already...here for a total of 18 hours. I'm confused.

    Sounds exactly like when mine visited! It was a horrible stressful visit. She's a little crazy
    Report Reply
  • oneblessedmessoneblessedmess member
    I don't understand. Why would she talk to your mother and not you directly? What did she say when you asked what time she is coming and how long she is staying? I can't wrap my mind around why you wouldn't have those details...
    Anniversary 
     
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • whyyesimquirkywhyyesimquirky member
    jacmariec said:

    Well she left already...here for a total of 18 hours. I'm confused.

    Wow, that long drive for 18 hours? Crazy!
    Report Reply
  • jacmariecjacmariec member
    Very strange. @vineheart137 she wouldn't answer her phone when me or DH called and she wouldn't return texts....so she didn't say anything when we asked. It was super weird. She got here late so we ordered food at like 10 then woke up went to target and then she left. She didn't even tell my husband she was leaving since he was at work
    Report Reply
  • oneblessedmessoneblessedmess member
    edited August 2015
    How odd! She basically drove seven hours both ways just to sleep and go to Target. That would drive me bananas! Is she normally like that?

    In any case, I guess a short stay is better than one that's too long!
    Anniversary 
     
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"