Anyone else consider giving up breastfeeding?

randa923 · August 2015

I'm not sure why I'm having such a difficult time making this decision. I've been mostly breastfeeding my LO who is 7 weeks tomorrow since birth. He gets one bottle of formula at bedtime so DH can feed him and occasionally one during the day if he's overly fussy. He still eats about every 1.5 hours. I'm lucky if he goes every 2 hours. It's usually more like an hour 20 minutes. I'm kind of tired of being 'tied down' for 30 minutes every hour and a half. I'm seeing the lactation consultant. I'm taking fenugreek and blessed thistle. I'm eating walnuts and oatmeal. I'm drinking tons of water. My LO falls asleep after 5 minutes of feeding and it's just a battle to keep him awake. He is gaining weight. I get almost nothing at all when I pump. I've tried drinking a beer. I've been power pumping. Oh and my nipples still hurt! I know I'm doing everything I can, but when I saw the lactation consultant yesterday she weighed him before and after feeding on each side. He's only getting about 1 ounce total. I'm so frustrated. I know it's ultimately my decision I'm just wondering if anyone else has given up and how you felt after? I feel like breastfeeding is super hard and stressful. I'm not a person that stresses out easy either. I'm constantly wondering if he's getting enough food especially after weighing him yesterday. Sorry this is so long and rambly!

mrsrep123 · August 2015

@randa923 I'm sorry you're having such a rough time with BFing. I felt like me and my son were both stressed trying to BF. Luckily, I just started pumping when he was 4 days old (is now one month old) and was able to establish my milk supply.

If you still want to provide breastmilk, I think the LC can definitely help you with that. Maybe rent a hospital grade pump (I just got one and will be starting today). It really mimics how babies BF.

I personally feel like if we're stressed, it's getting passed onto the baby and that's not good for anyone. Don't beat yourself up either- you gave it 7 weeks. That's a hell of a lot more than I did and I'm not one to throw in the towel so easily. But I saw how it was affecting my son and I knew I had to figure something else out. I felt "bad" like I wasn't "trying hard enough" when I stopped BF and even gave it another try in week 3... But same results: STRESS! I talked to my DH and he was super helpful and supportive. We just made the decision based on how our son was being affected.

I hope this helped in any way... I definitely empathize with how you feel.

Good luck!

Melis222 · August 2015

I really hate how there is such a stigma to using formula so much that we beat ourselves up at the thought of stopping BFing. If you are super stressed than do what makes you happy! You want to enjoy your baby and for baby to have a happy mama. I am EBF but plan to switch when I go back to work. I already know that pumping at work is too stressful for me. I tried when I had my first and used to cry every night. I've already decided I'm not going to put myself through that again. If you stop it is totally ok, formula is perfectly fine. If you continue I hope it gets easier for you.

mrsrep123 · August 2015

@Melis222 I've been trying to picture it in my mind how I'm going to pump at work and I'm already somewhat stressed about it. Trying really hard to set up a stash to make it to 4-6 months.

2babes3angels · August 2015

I agree with @Melis222 100%. That whole saying "breast is best" needs to be changed to "FED is best" imo. It's such a shame to see women who struggle with it feel like they're somehow failing their babies if they need to switch to formula. You're doing good momma! Do what makes you and baby feel most comfortable

jmucc421 · August 2015

I quit ebf after 2 weeks and began pumping..never got enough to feed her solely breastmilk so I supplemented. The difference switching to pumping made on my stress level was astounding. I was able to see how much she was getting and she was FINALLY satisfied and content After each feeding. Sounds like you're doing everything you can (much more than I did if I'm being honest). I'm stilling dealing with feelings of guilt and def agree that this best is breast push sets a lot of already stressed and tired moms up for failure.

randa923 · August 2015

Thank you all. You honestly have no idea how much better I feel just reading your responses. Today has been an "at the boob every hour" day and I'm just so stressed. I've been crying off and on all day trying to convince myself to just go one more week until we see the LC again, but I'm not even sure I want to do that. After five straight hours of feeding him I finally gave him a bottle and he's been content for an hour and 20 minutes already. He's fussy because he needs a nap (which is a completely different struggle) but he's not showing any hungry signs. I know exclusively pumping is not an option for me because I get so little when I pump. I'm talking I'll pump 3-4 times a day and be lucky to get five ounces all day. I feel like that would just stress me out almost as much as breastfeeding.

LacieMac · August 2015

I totally understand how you feel. My LO was eating constantly and I was always in pain and felt tied down. I felt so much pressure to EBF that I didn't want to admit ibwas miserable and swith. About a week ago it was clear my then 4 week old was not getting enough milk from breast I supplemented with formula and she was so content. IShe gradulaly stopped taking the breast. I was a little disappointed but am so much happier. I pump 5 times a day or more and supplement with formula. She is happier, I am happier and I know she is getting enough milk. If you think switching would make you happier, I absolutely would. The pressure to breastfeed is not worth making yourself so stressed and unhappy. Prayers for you and I hope you feel better.

Melis222 · August 2015

mrsrep123 said:
@Melis222 I've been trying to picture it in my mind how I'm going to pump at work and I'm already somewhat stressed about it. Trying really hard to set up a stash to make it to 4-6 months.

Build a stash if you can and you can always supplement. I have a small stash but my baby has a dairy/soy protein allergy so I recently had to eliminate those foods from my diet meaning that my frozen milk is useless...I was eating dairy when I pumped those. That's the reason I can't rely on a stash. If something sneaks into my diet without me realizing then the milk is not usable. So for my sanity I'll be switching her to Nutramigen formula in a few months.

bazzie88 · August 2015

I had a terrible time breast feeding. I mad either 8 days, and I was so tired and ragged and I literally didn't get out of bed for the entire 8 days we were breast feeding. I cried all the time because our lo was never satisfied and was ALWAYS hungry.

We were seeing a lactation consultant regularly and talking to them on the phone every other feeding it seemed. I had a great support network and did everything they told me to do including power pumping, herbal supplements, and oatmeal galore.

Making the decision was agonizing and terrible. I literally was curled up in a ball o thr floor of the shower hysterically crying. Once I made the decision to stop and we fed her formula and we got to see her satisfied and content for the first time I knew we made the best decision for her and my family. Since then I have become a better mom and my husband is able to participate more in the care of lo which is wonderful for their bonding. I feel sad that ebf didn't work for us, and I still miss that amazing closeness we shared, but I feel confident that we made the right choice for us and for lo. And in the end, it only took 2 days for my milk to dry up... at that point it became REALLY obvious I had a very low supply. Listen To YOUR Body and your gut. You can't make a bad decision. Formula has come a long way, no its not thr same as breast milk, but it will give your baby what it needs.

tibi5 · August 2015

@randa923 The fact that you can get 5 ounces in a day is great! I don't get nearly that much, and have been seeing lactation consultants who say my supply is great since my baby is gaining weight. You produce what your baby needs, so it makes sense that for some it is just hard to make extra. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. I also have the luxury though of not needing to stress about going back to work and building an excess supply (I'm in Canada with a year off paid). So pumping for me is just to get the occasional bottle so I can go out.

Good luck to everyone, and to each their own. Do what you gotta do to feed your baby. When my milk came in late, I remember the relief I felt when I saw my baby content after a bottle of formula!

randa923 · August 2015

I only got 5 ounces one time. And that day I pumped twice when he should have been eating-he was sleeping. My typical daily total is about 2 ounces-so not even a bottle. I am happy he's gaining weight so it does seems he's getting what he needs, but he eats so frequently I just don't know if I can do it much longer. Plus I do need a supply built up for when I go back to work if at all possible. He wouldn't eat tonight so my husband gave him formula while I pumped. I pumped 1.5 ounces after not feeding or pumping for 4.5 hours (he was napping) and he was super content after the formula. I love seeing him so content I just wish he wEas that way after breastfeeding. And after 4.5 hours of not feeding I really feel like I should have pumped more

ecloho · August 2015

@randa923 when do you return to work? Maybe you can keep breast feeding & supplementing with formula (there's absolutely nothing wrong with that) until you go back to work. We actually decided last night (after I told my husband about the bottle of formula I gave LO) to mix formula with pumped breast milk for snacks or supplements when LO needs a little extra. The formula is more filling & will help make my pumped supply go a little further. I go back to work January 4th (for 1/2 a day in the mornings) & haven't decided if I will continue to breast feed after that. I think I could, but would be just easier not to also

randa923 · August 2015

@ecloho I go back the first week in October. I'm pretty positive I won't be able to continue to breastfeed when I go back since I don't get much when I pump. I work 12 hour shifts as an ER nurse. I just don't think I'll be able to get away enough to pump. I'm not 100% sure I want to continue until then. I'm at least sticking it out until Monday with the lactation consultant. Its small goals right now.

mamaklemond · August 2015

Considering it just bc I don't feel like I have time at home to pump. I'm EBF while I'm home, I go back to work 2 days a week at the end of September then 3 days a week a month after that. I'm thinking I might try to supplement formula on my working days and pump once at work (also feed LO before I leave and when I get home) and BF on the days I'm home. Idk if it will work or not, but I don't see myself pumping enough for a stash big enough to supply him when I'm gone. He eats every 2.5 hours on average, so by the time I'm done feeding him, burp and keep him upright for 20 or 30 min, my 19 month old usually needs some attention. Then it's time to eat again. It's a lot of work! Hats off to mommas who can do it...it stresses me out thinking about having something and someone attached to my boob all day long!

babydu · August 2015

I've been fighting with myself the last few days about this. My LO lost weight and I had to start supplementing and now she likes the bottle and formula more than my breast milk. I feel like such a failure and keep crying about it. First I didn't have the natural birth I wanted and now I'm having trouble breastfeeding like I wanted, nothing is going as planned and it's eating away at me. I hope I can figure things out soon and be ok with it!! I just can't stop obsessing over what to do

randa923 · August 2015

babydu said:
I've been fighting with myself the last few days about this. My LO lost weight and I had to start supplementing and now she likes the bottle and formula more than my breast milk. I feel like such a failure and keep crying about it. First I didn't have the natural birth I wanted and now I'm having trouble breastfeeding like I wanted, nothing is going as planned and it's eating away at me. I hope I can figure things out soon and be ok with it!! I just can't stop obsessing over what to do

@babydu this sounds like me exactly. Nothing since my water broke has gone the way it was supposed to. I eneded up with an emergency c-section due to fetal distress. I wanted as natural as possible. Before my c-section I got the epidural. But you know what? Are babies are here and happy and healthy and that truly is the most important thing! I don't know what happened this week, but it's like a flip switched for me. I'm okay supplementing my baby with formula now. I'm going to continue to breastfeed him and give him extra when he needs it. It's the best of both worlds. He's happy and I don't have him on my boob every hour. I haven't started yet because the lactation consultant wanted me to continue to try to EBF until I see her Monday, but my mind is pretty much made up. I just want to talk to her first. I had a good cry and talk with my husband the day I wrote this and two days later I just felt so much bettet. I think I dropped the guilt somewhere! All the encouragement on here helped for sure!

Hopeful715 · August 2015

@babydu and @randa923 : I am right there with you both! Birth was a 3 day induction (almost a c-section) stayed extra in the hospital, baby didn't gain and we had to supplement, and I have been a stressed out mess ever since. DD has latching issues (prob because of all the stress) and I can't get anything done outside of feeding. Reading this thread has really helped me see that I can let go of the pressure of "doing it right" and just find a solution that works for us. Thank you for your transparency and know you're not alone. Great advice has been offered by some of the ladies, and we are going to get through this rough part! Many blessings, hope it gets easier for all of us!

oneblessedmess · August 2015

I have. Pretty much the main thing stopping me from using formula is that it gets expensive and BM is free. I know BM has so many benefits for my baby. But it's hard being baby's primary food source and I'm constantly worrying about if she is eating enough, even though so far she has been gaining weight perfectly fine. LO has a pediatric appointment on Monday, I'm going to talk to the doctor about supplementing with formula (we have a crapload of samples we need to use anyway). Like PP said it might be a happy medium for us.

mamaklemond · August 2015

Aww @babydu and @randa923 my DS1's birth sounds similar. 48 hours of labor with a failed induction resulting in a c section which I was so not prepared for. I was so disappointed, my plan was a natural birth. Also wanted to EBF. He started off like a champ, no issues and perfect latch. We got home and it all seemed to go to hell in a hand basket fast. Non stop crying, gas, rash, etc. Finally switched to formula after learning he had food allergies, omg different baby, different mamma....happy world lol but I felt so defeated for soooo long with nothing having gone to "plan." I got over it when I saw how much he was thriving getting the nutrients he needed and he wasn't miserable from having a rash head to toe all because I was stuck on sticking to my plan. All that matters is baby gets what he or she needs, and that is food!!!! You are a great mom whether you choose to BF or formula feed, there is no right or wrong way. With DS2 I am EBF so far, he's 5 weeks old. Hope to continue but already having issues and having to pump for bottle feedings. But seeing how much more satisfied he is with a measured out bottle vs being frustrated at the breast is sooo much better for all of us!

SBbabyonboard · August 2015

Reading all these posts has really helped me tonight. I have struggled with breastfeeding since my DD was born. She lost weight and was in the nicu for 8 days so we breast fed, pumped and supplemented at hospital and kept that routine at home, have hoped to take the little bit of formula she was on out of the picture once we got home but just seemed I wasn't able to pump enough and she would just stay on my breast for hours if she could so not sure how much she was actually getting. And when I pump I only get about 6 ounces total in a day and she drinks about 4 at a feeding. When I breastfeed she will only drink about 2 oz from the bottle afterwArds, but is just so frustrating. Wish she would just get enough from my breast. And now we have thrush and the last 2 days she hasn't taken my breast at all! But I also started taking fenugreek and now wondering if that's why she isn't taking my breast. Just feel like crying cause feel like I'm trying everything possible to keep her happy and full. Just want to cut out this darn formula!!

babydu · August 2015

Thank you everyone, I'm finally feeling better, we had to make the decision to switch to formula, not my first choice but me and baby are much happier and she is back to gaining weight, I do miss nursing sometimes but I do think it was the right decision

randa923 · September 2015

SBbabyonboard said:
Reading all these posts has really helped me tonight. I have struggled with breastfeeding since my DD was born. She lost weight and was in the nicu for 8 days so we breast fed, pumped and supplemented at hospital and kept that routine at home, have hoped to take the little bit of formula she was on out of the picture once we got home but just seemed I wasn't able to pump enough and she would just stay on my breast for hours if she could so not sure how much she was actually getting. And when I pump I only get about 6 ounces total in a day and she drinks about 4 at a feeding. When I breastfeed she will only drink about 2 oz from the bottle afterwArds, but is just so frustrating. Wish she would just get enough from my breast. And now we have thrush and the last 2 days she hasn't taken my breast at all! But I also started taking fenugreek and now wondering if that's why she isn't taking my breast. Just feel like crying cause feel like I'm trying everything possible to keep her happy and full. Just want to cut out this darn formula!!

I totally feel you! I saw the lactation consultant again today and my little guy is always so hungry because he is an ineffective eater. he should be getting at least an ounce from each boob at each feeding. He barely gets half an ounce from each which is why he eats twice as often. But after doing his weights before and after eating for two weeks she assured me that it's not me (weird relief) he also has a lip tie so he has a super shallow latch. I'm still trying to breastfeed so he can get what he can, but I'm back to supplementing and trying to pump enough to keep up a supply. It'd be great to just be able to feed him one way! I guess I'm a bit stubborn and not quite ready to fully give up breastfeeding yet. The lactation consultant wants us to get a referral to a pediatrician ENT to check out his lip tie and possible tongue tie. We will get that at his next appointment on the 11. Until then we supplement. But at least I have a happy baby that isn't on my boob every hour when I supplement

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