Really, How Do You Get a Baby to Nap??

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

I always laugh at the advice that says "put your baby down drowsy but awake." Does that ever really happen for anyone (I'm talking before 6 months)? If I try laying my 14 week old DD down awake, she's crying before I even leave the room. So, how do you get a baby to nap without nursing, rocking, patting, etc? It takes me at least 30 minutes to nurse my DD to sleep, then I have to wait another 15-20 minutes before I can transfer her to her crib or else she wakes up (she's usually up in 30 minutes anyway). And, I have a 2.5 year old son. So, I pretty much go crazy every single day. Anyone else?

SmrBrd2012 · August 2015

Yeah, I'm in the same boat. I don't really get it. If I put him down kind of drowsy, he starts crying in 30-60 seconds tops. If I pat him or hold my hand over his chest, it doesn't usually help and then he'll start screaming if I don't pick him back up, which ruins the whole drowsy thing. I have to put him down when he's like 95-99% asleep. His eyes may open a little but by then he's usually pretty calm. If I keep my hand on his chest then, he'll usually pass out completely.

ladyteach0505 · August 2015

Uh, preach! How DO you get a baby to nap?! No idea, but I get frustrated when others seem to have no problem.

DD sobbed for 5 minutes last night when we laid her down and then I picked her up, changed her diaper (she pees when angry) and then gave her a little formula and put her back down. She began screaming immediately so I set about to wait for 10 minutes. She cried herself to sleep by about 10 minutes. ( I am trying the "Ferber" method that I've heard about of waiting 5 then 10 then 15 minutes.) I would assume if your baby is drowsy enough they'll eventually fall asleep. But as for creating a "nap" schedule I have no idea because I am pretty sure a kid who isn't tired is a kid who isn't tired.

I read somewhere that babies should take a nap 2 hours after waking up for the day. Uh...DD conked out after 3 today but I thought that was lucky because usually she doesn't sleep until about noon every day...and even then that's inconsistent!

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

The hand on the chest thing hasn't really worked for me either, she just stares at me like I'm crazy and starts crying when she realizes I'm not picking her up!

Ladyteach0505, how old is your DD? I definitely plan on doing that Ferber sleep training method with my daughter when she's a little old (she's just over 3 months now). We did it with my son and it worked great. After we sleep trained him it was much easier getting him to nap on a schedule, but he has always been a sleepy kid too. Even now at 2 and a 1/2, he naps 1.5-2 hours in the day, goes to bed at 7:15, and wakes around 7:00. Also, are you a teacher? I am. ☺️

Naps at this age are so hard! Even if my DD is drowsy when I put her down, she gets mad real quick when she realizes that I'm not holding her anymore! Then it doesn't matter how drowsy she was and I have to start all over again.

ladyteach0505 · August 2015

I am!

She's 4 months next week. Any other tips for sleep training? I'm a first timer!

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

We did sleep training at 5 months, which is a month earlier than recommended, but we had to. Our son had been waking every 1.5-2 hours and taking 45 minutes to put back to sleep for 3 solid weeks, and we were at our breaking point. He needed to learn to sleep for his own good too, he was so tired. We just did the comforting at 5,10, and 15 minutes, but I don't think he ever even made it to 15. By night 3 he was going to sleep with zero crying.

Tips: train early, by 5 or 6 months. The longer you wait the harder they fight. Establish a bedtime routine and do it in the same way at the same time every night. We did bath, pjs, nurse, story (same one every night), and song (same song every night). Hearing that book and that song became cues that it was sleep time. Also, introduce an attachment object a few weeks before you train. Ours was this:

https://www.lostmylovey.com/index.php/replacement-wanted/listing-detail/babies-r-us-monkey-security-blanket

Then baby will have something they associate with comfort as they go through this process. Just have a routine, be consistent, and don't wait too long. Just remember that all babies are different though, so you don't know how they'll react. Good luck!

SmrBrd2012 · August 2015

I've also recently read the Pick up/Put down method from the Baby Whisperer Book. I'm hoping to start trying it out soon!

Put your baby down to bed when s/he is drowsy
If your baby cries at this point pick her up, reassure her say something like ‘I'm here it's OK'. Try to have a key phrase that you always use.
When you have done this put her back down. If s/he starts to cry on the way down still put him/her down anyway.
If they are still crying pick them up again.
If your little one is fighting you, arching their back etc. you don’t hold at all, you put them right down after you say the key phrase and then pick them up again.
As soon as the crying stops, leave the room.
If s/he doesn't stop crying pick her/him up
As soon as the crying stops, put her/him down
If s/he doesn't stop crying pick her/him up
As soon as the crying stops, put her/him down
Leave the room
Repeat this as many times as is necessary until your baby falls asleep

The baby whisperer approach is suitable for a baby at 3 months old.

https://www.netmums.com/baby/sleep/pick-up-put-down-technique

NLB2009 · August 2015

@SmrBrd2012 I think I've been doing this by accident! It's kind of reassuring to know that it's not just me being unable to tolerate crying but too stubborn to give up on sleep training all together! Thanks for the info.

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

Thanks for the info on PU/PD! Are you just supposed to keep going no mater how long it takes? What if it's been 39 minutes or an hour, I just don't know if I could leave my 2.5 year old alone out in the living room that long:/

saric83 · August 2015

Possibly out of sheer dumb luck, putting DS down when drowsy but awake works for us 90% of the time and has since our first week home (13 weeks now). But we quickly realized, it's all about timing, and we have to catch his earliest sleep cues IMMEDIATELY and get him down within two to three minutes (blinds closed, fan and noise machine on, swaddled and paci offered). If we miss them, and he's at the yawning-stage, it's too late, and we're screwed and then have to rub his belly and his head until he gets really drowsy, and then we can sneak out without his eyes following us.

But like I said, this could just be dumb-luck on our parts or maybe he's a weirdly easy sleeper, who has spoiled us for all future children!

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

Count yourself lucky! I try to follow early tired cues, but sometimes I just can't because I'm doing something for my toddler. I am so nervous because I have to work for a couple weeks before my maternity leave resumes, and my mother in law will be watching the kids. I just don't know how she's going to get DD to nap! I'm afraid she's just going to be up screaming all day:(

SmrBrd2012 · August 2015

Curlygirl2415 said:

Thanks for the info on PU/PD! Are you just supposed to keep going no mater how long it takes? What if it's been 39 minutes or an hour, I just don't know if I could leave my 2.5 year old alone out in the living room that long:/

Honestly, I'm not really sure. I haven't read about in depth yet. It is in the Baby Whisperer book so you can either check that out or google it more. From the small excerpt I read without getting into that chapter yet, it says that if it takes 40 minutes then so be it, but baby will eventually cave. And then the next time you do it, it should take less time. I honestly don't know if it works though. We tried it for a little bit last night and LO just screamed louder each time we put him down, lol. We started too late in the evening though so we gave up. Need to plan it better tonight.

saric83 · August 2015

Curlygirl2415 said:

Count yourself lucky! I try to follow early tired cues, but sometimes I just can't because I'm doing something for my toddler. I am so nervous because I have to work for a couple weeks before my maternity leave resumes, and my mother in law will be watching the kids. I just don't know how she's going to get DD to nap! I'm afraid she's just going to be up screaming all day:(

I didn't even think of it, but of course it's easier for me simply because DS is the only kiddo for now. I'm terrified for a next one when I can't do the same things! Hopefully, your MIL has some magic napping tricks up her sleeve.

NLB2009 · August 2015

Curlygirl2415 said:

Count yourself lucky! I try to follow early tired cues, but sometimes I just can't because I'm doing something for my toddler. I am so nervous because I have to work for a couple weeks before my maternity leave resumes, and my mother in law will be watching the kids. I just don't know how she's going to get DD to nap! I'm afraid she's just going to be up screaming all day:(

I was really worried about this with my daycare provider but it's not a problem. With me, my LO needs holding and rocking to put him to sleep. If I try to put him down awake, he cries like I broke his heart. But my daycare provider tells me she just lays him down when he seems tired, he fusses for a few minutes, and then he's out. It's not fair! But at least I know he's getting good sleep while with her. Perhaps your baby will be the same. They just know that they can get more from us. (Side note: I did not believe my daycare provider when she first told me this so I'd have her send me videos and pictures of him sleeping. I don't know how she put up with me!)

Bigboobsmcgee · August 2015

For me the PU/PD method would make my kids even more upset. I also think the "drowsy but awake" nonsense is just that: NONSENSE. Parents have to do what works for their child, not what "experts" tell them to do. It took me 2 kids to realize I was trying too hard and it wasn't worth it because there is only so much you can do and you can't listen to what a book tells you to do.

Naps just pretty much suck until about 6 months old. Period. They only sleep for about 30-45 minutes at a time, no matter what you do so I stopped trying so hard and then getting upset.

Watch for tired cues, make the room conducive to sleep then leave your LO. If he/she wakes up after a short nap, get them up and try again later. It's even harder with 2 kids so make it easy on yourself now. It gets better.

Bigboobsmcgee · August 2015

And FWIW, I have a 3.5 year old and a 10 month old and when they were really little (newborn - 6 months old), I would feed them and rock them until they were sound asleep. I would do anything in my power to make sure they were SOUND asleep before tip toeing to their room and putting them in bed.

Both my kids are fabulous sleepers now and I didn't listen to a single "expert" and I didn't read any books. Trial, error and will power.

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

I think you're right, it's just hard to accept that it's going to be like this for 3 more months! I can't help thinking in the back of my mind that my daughter has some sort of issue like dairy allergy or reflux. She is so gassy, spits up a ton (sometimes clear projectile spit up), and often writhes in pain while nursing. I've even wondered if she's an early teether at 14 weeks, because last night she bit (for lack of a better word) my nipple, and now it actually has a purple bruise on it! I just can't seem to accept that this is all normal...but it is, right? Thank you all for the advice, helps so much to have an outlet.

Bigboobsmcgee · August 2015

Curlygirl2415 said:

I think you're right, it's just hard to accept that it's going to be like this for 3 more months! I can't help thinking in the back of my mind that my daughter has some sort of issue like dairy allergy or reflux. She is so gassy, spits up a ton (sometimes clear projectile spit up), and often writhes in pain while nursing. I've even wondered if she's an early teether at 14 weeks, because last night she bit (for lack of a better word) my nipple, and now it actually has a purple bruise on it! I just can't seem to accept that this is all normal...but it is, right? Thank you all for the advice, helps so much to have an outlet.

I can't remember if you said you've talked to the Pedi about this? I'd be concerned about that too. You always want to rule out something like reflux, teething pain or illness when trying to troubleshoot sleep problems.

I'm not saying to give up and just accept shitty sleep because with my first, I was determined to find a reason WHY my kid wouldn't sleep. I was sure there was a reason for it and if I found that reason, I would be able to fix it and sleep would eventually come.

For some reason I didn't try so hard with my second kid and just accepted that things sucked most of the time! That sounds bad but it's true. I tried to get a lot of naps in the car, or on the go in the stroller or in the Ergo. For me with both kids, the key was timing the nap, using white noise, a completely dark room and feeding right before the nap. Those are the things that worked.

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

I'm going to call my Pedi tomorrow. My husband seems to think all this is normal, and it's just me being a worry wort (which I'll admit I am), but it just really feels like something is wrong. I don't think babies should be in this much discomfort unless there is. For example, she has been up since 11:00 am today (minus 2-3 15 minute naps on my lap. She is too uncomfortable to sleep, crying, squirming, farting, spitting up, and has pooped 3 times. I did try to lay her down asleep a few times, but minutes later she was crying and had spit up on herself. I'm about to try cutting out dairy for a couple weeks just to see if that makes a difference, but it's going to be hard for me because I love to eat! I would actually count it a success if she napped 30 minutes in her bed after noon! I can't even get her in there past 12:00.

saric83 · August 2015

Curlygirl2415 said:

I think you're right, it's just hard to accept that it's going to be like this for 3 more months! I can't help thinking in the back of my mind that my daughter has some sort of issue like dairy allergy or reflux. She is so gassy, spits up a ton (sometimes clear projectile spit up), and often writhes in pain while nursing.

DS does this about 45-60 minutes after eating like clockwork, and his pedi said it's definitely reflux. I didn't want to put him on the meds since it doesn't seem to bother him unless he comes out his nose (only a few times), but he has seemed WAY more comfortable since we put a book under one side of his mattress to prop him up at an angle, so that might be worth trying if you don't already have her angled. He often still wakes up from it, but then he just goes right back to sleep.

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

She sleeps in a Rock n Play which is slightly angled. Our son was on reflux medicine and I'm not even sure if it really helped him that much. I wanted to avoid putting our daughter on any kind of medicine but there is clearly a problem and I'm starting to get to my wit's end. Are there different kinds of ways to deal with reflux other than prescription meds?

Bigboobsmcgee · August 2015

Curlygirl2415 said:

She sleeps in a Rock n Play which is slightly angled. Our son was on reflux medicine and I'm not even sure if it really helped him that much. I wanted to avoid putting our daughter on any kind of medicine but there is clearly a problem and I'm starting to get to my wit's end. Are there different kinds of ways to deal with reflux other than prescription meds?

I'd ask the Pedi that but I'm sure it depends on the severity and if she does seem to be in pain like you are describing then you need to do something for her. Also, you need to assess YOUR diet and start cutting things out. That could be the problem and not reflux.

Can you talk to a lactation consultant?

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

Yes, I'm pretty sure I have access to one through my insurance. In my gut I think it's something in my diet.

Bigboobsmcgee · August 2015

Curlygirl2415 said:

Yes, I'm pretty sure I have access to one through my insurance. In my gut I think it's something in my diet.

Go with your gut

Nhbaby · September 2015

I literally came on here for tips about this!! I nursed my (now) 24-mo old to sleep for his 1st year and now my 3-mo old is the same but worse. (Ok, shouldn't call it worse.. Different!) I get maybe 2-45 min naps from him unless we are driving somewhere or he's in a carrier. It's so hard especially when I'm trying to get big bro to nap or have his bath, etc... I feel like all I do is nurse him to avoid him crying. When I'm not able to nurse he's crying. I know he's exhausted but he just wants Mom! I'm trying to enjoy the cuddles but my toddler breaks my heart bc he's getting pushed aside... I'm not dealing well. Would love suggestions.

Caileybug · September 2015

I'm confused with the Ferber method. You let LO cry for 5 mins, then go in and console? How long do you stay? Do you pick them up??

ahart326 · September 2015

@caileybug you start with increments that you're comfortable with. The first day could be one minute, three minutes, then five minutes. For naps you continue doing five minute increments as long as they are crying for up to a half-hour. You go in and comfort them for up to a minute but whatever you do, do not pick them up. Remember that it is not your job to "save" them and stop them from crying, you are just letting your baby know that they are not abandoned and allowing them to have the chance to learn to self soothe. After a half hour if they are still crying you are supposed to get them up and wait until the next nap to put them down. I only ever had to do that once on the first day and we just tried a half hour later. My now 3 1/2 month old goes down for naps with either minimal or no crying. We used the Ferber method when she turned three months old

Caileybug · September 2015

ahart326 said:
@caileybug you start with increments that you're comfortable with. The first day could be one minute, three minutes, then five minutes. For naps you continue doing five minute increments as long as they are crying for up to a half-hour. You go in and comfort them for up to a minute but whatever you do, do not pick them up. Remember that it is not your job to "save" them and stop them from crying, you are just letting your baby know that they are not abandoned and allowing them to have the chance to learn to self soothe. After a half hour if they are still crying you are supposed to get them up and wait until the next nap to put them down. I only ever had to do that once on the first day and we just tried a half hour later. My now 3 1/2 month old goes down for naps with either minimal or no crying. We used the Ferber method when she turned three months old

Thanks for the info!!

Curlygirl2415 · September 2015

I've just had to work for the last 4 days, so my mother in law took care of my kids. She had to find a different way to get my baby to sleep, and she managed to do it! She just swaddled her like we always do, sat and rocked/patted her until she fell asleep! I figured if it worked for her, I could do it too, so the past 2 nights I patted her to sleep for her evening nap. I was so shocked that it actually worked! I've only ever nursed her to sleep (she's 3.5 months). It was actually faster than nursing her to sleep and she slept longer. She has actually been napping great the last couple of days without being nursed to sleep, do this makes me feel like her gas issues are caused by over feeding. My mother in law even put her down awake a couple times because she had to change my toddler, and she fell asleep on her own. I'm hoping to continue this on my own, and try to get on an eat-activity-sleep schedule. So sleeping has been good, but feeding is a different story! But that's for a different discussion.

Bigboobsmcgee · September 2015

Curlygirl2415 said:

I've just had to work for the last 4 days, so my mother in law took care of my kids. She had to find a different way to get my baby to sleep, and she managed to do it! She just swaddled her like we always do, sat and rocked/patted her until she fell asleep! I figured if it worked for her, I could do it too, so the past 2 nights I patted her to sleep for her evening nap. I was so shocked that it actually worked! I've only ever nursed her to sleep (she's 3.5 months). It was actually faster than nursing her to sleep and she slept longer. She has actually been napping great the last couple of days without being nursed to sleep, do this makes me feel like her gas issues are caused by over feeding. My mother in law even put her down awake a couple times because she had to change my toddler, and she fell asleep on her own. I'm hoping to continue this on my own, and try to get on an eat-activity-sleep schedule. So sleeping has been good, but feeding is a different story! But that's for a different discussion.

Grandparents have a way of working magic with babies

Good news!

Curlygirl2415 · September 2015

But, here's the problem: she's not taking a bottle! She has taken a bottle in the past, but it'd been about 2 weeks since she had one. She won't suck on it, just kinda gums it and doesn't get any milk. My mom in law had to feed her out of a 5 ML plastic syringe the whole time! It took like 30-40 fills of that thing to feed her, EVERY time she ate! She's going to daycare for 3 days next week, and my provider also takes care of my son and another 3 year old, so I know she's not going to be thrilled. We've tried Tommy Tipee, Aventi, and Doc Browns. Any advice??

Bigboobsmcgee · September 2015

Curlygirl2415 said:

But, here's the problem: she's not taking a bottle! She has taken a bottle in the past, but it'd been about 2 weeks since she had one. She won't suck on it, just kinda gums it and doesn't get any milk. My mom in law had to feed her out of a 5 ML plastic syringe the whole time! It took like 30-40 fills of that thing to feed her, EVERY time she ate! She's going to daycare for 3 days next week, and my provider also takes care of my son and another 3 year old, so I know she's not going to be thrilled. We've tried Tommy Tipee, Aventi, and Doc Browns. Any advice??

She's a breastfed baby right? I have no advice for you on that

Maybe ask the breastfeeding board??

xuxachi · September 2015

Ugh, sounds awful. I assume your MIL trying the bottle every feeding then resorting to the syringe when that fails? I guess I would say to keep at the bottle. My care giver has had to be pretty persistent/patient to get my 4-mo to take the (infrequent) bottles, but he eventually takes it. Sometimes she stops and tries again in 10-15 min. It's tough.

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