Those of you with a toddler and newborn...

Lalala2326 · August 2015

What are your days looking like right now? I have 2.5 year old and 2.5 week old little girls. We have been doing pretty well so far, but I've had help almost the entire time. My husband was home the first week, my dad was here the second, and now my mom is here. So far I've only had 3 days home alone with the two of them. My mom is leaving Saturday morning though, so I am starting to think about what in the world I'm going to do with the two of them all day all week :P

My older daughter has not been doing any self entertaining really since the baby was born and is driving me a little insane in that regards. Part of it I think is because we are so scattered right now and have no routine. She used to expect certain times of the day she would have to self entertain (like when I was making dinner), so she did pretty good with it. I think she is trying to soak up all the attention she can get also right now.

Library storytime starts back up next week (they don't have them in August at all), and her gymnastics classes will start back the week after that (they are on a 3 week vacation), so I'm hoping that will help fill in the mornings. We took them to the park a couple times this week which I think should be pretty manageable alone. On days we have to stay home all day though, are you all planning activities for your toddlers to do? Are they actually self entertaining while you are taking care of the baby? I feel like I'm nursing non-stop right now which is not helping. I hate telling her to wait all the time but we are having positional issues on one side, so it is very hard to walk or move around when feeding on one side (so half the time). I just know we both do so much better with some sort of normalcy and routine, but of course with a newborn, that is more challenging

So what do your days look like so far?

hclzmm14 · August 2015

My days look like hell basically and my mom has been here the whole time. My older daughter is being totally whiny and bratty over everything. She is far more difficult than her 2 wk old sister...

kettlekitten · August 2015

I've just made up a 'craft box' for my 2.5 year old DD that she is supposedly only allowed when I'm feeding or pumping. I'm not sure how this will go.... But she had it out for the first time last night and loved it. She is not overly independent with her playing yet but she is usually happy tinkering away if I'm next to her.

I put in beads for threading, some new pens, pipe cleaners, toddler friendly scissors and a magazine to cut up, a game I made that involves putting toppings on a pizza, some modelling clay, stickers.. I have a ton of stuff to cycle through the box if she gets sick of the stuff currently in there. It will potentially result in there being a ton of crap all over the place, so I'm slightly worried I'll make more work for myself tidying up after her, but if it keeps her out of my way while I'm busy feeding then it should be good! Also my friend gave me about 15 DVDs so there is that if I get desperate

I haven't had much time on my own with both of them yet so pretty scared of DH going back to work!!

bpwife&mama · August 2015

My 3 year old is throwing more tantrums than normal to get my attention. I am trying so hard to still give him one on one time with me, but Camden needs me too. He's definitely been harder.

amylianne · August 2015

We got DS a toy kitchen and a basket of fruits and veggies that Velcro together so he can "chop" them apart. Of I'm bottle feeding or just need to hold dd, we chop together. When I have to pump we color and do stamps together.
We go to the park that's right by the house and leave the baby in the stroller for 30 minutes or so, or I wear her... We made a fort in the basement that we can play in and I put the baby on the play may away from us, but where I can still see her.
Sadly, there's more screen time than usual right now too...

jlsweets · August 2015

bpwife&mama said:
My 3 year old is throwing more tantrums than normal to get my attention. I am trying so hard to still give him one on one time with me, but Camden needs me too. He's definitely been harder.

In the same boat. My son was great until Monday when my husband returned to work and it was just him, myself and the baby. Now he is acting rebellious (normally has such a sweet disposition). He whines over everything now. He is lashing out, throwing everything out of the changing table, purposely swinging the baby swing super fast when he's in it and very jealous when I'm feeding the baby. As soon as I feed the baby he is automatically "starving" ha. I know it's just temporary and once we get into routine it should be easier (please God). Anyone else excited for preschool??

Miz_Liz · August 2015

Our days here aren't horrible yet because DH is off of work for the remainder of the week, but he did have to go back to work Thurs/Fri/Mon right after DD was born, but thankfully he works from home. DS is definitely a bit louder and seeking a bit more attention, but I try really hard not to ever blame me asking him to be quiet on the baby so he doesn't resent her. I do a lot of, "Mommy has a headache (truth)" and "Inside voice please". He is pretty amazing with the baby and loves her to bits, but she is cluster feeding so it is hard to play with him like he would like. So far he is pretty tolerant, but definitely more movies here than normal. We did go to the playground once and I left her in her carseat and just carried her, that went well. Once it cools down I plan to do walks with them. We also have gone outside and I keep her out of the sun while he plays with water or in his sandbox. I definitely think it will be awhile yet before I am "comfortable" with two - it is a game changer, that is for sure, but I have quite a few friends with two and so I just look at them regularly and remind myself, "If they can do it, I can do it." I do cry a lot though, which I didn't with DS, and I think while 98% of it is hormones that need to level out, the other 2% is sheer terror/stress over having two!

hclzmm14 · August 2015

Ok I am glad I am not the only one putting on Netflix for DD. we have watched so much kids tv and movies this week I feel so guilty. But if it stops the tantrums right now I can't complain.

We can do this!! Right?

MissusTexas · August 2015

I have only been alone with the two of them one day and even then DH was working from home and woke up with the toddler. I won't have help starting next week and I'm terrified! Luckily, she starts back at parents day out on tues and Thursday, I have ladies bible class starting back on Wednesday, and Friday we'll go to open gym at a gymnastics center. We have to stay busy and out of the house or I will lose my mind.

breezymeema7 · August 2015

We are in survival mode. We go outside and play for most the morning between feeds and spend the late afternoon either downstairs or in the backyard. I have not taken the 3 of them out of the house/yard without someone else with me yet. That is my goal for tomorrow morning...a walk to the park. I feel grossly outnumbered!

emmacake08 · August 2015

I still have help with the toddlers but I'm worried about the transition to doing it myself (next week). I got an ergo carrier so I'm hoping that will help me multi task. I'm having to pump because once again I have a LO with not enough cheek strength and so I'm more concerned about fitting in pumpings with toddlers. The sooner we can get off the pump, the better!

cosplaymom · August 2015

This is my firsr week by myself with bith girls - who are 25 months and 3 weeks old. My toddler bats the newborn in the face, pulls on her arm, tries to feed her food, bounces the bouncer really hard and shakes the pack n play hard when baby is sleeping in it. And she bit me on the shoulder while I was feeding her little sister. Ugh!

I think she has been spoiled. Daddy and grandparents have been taking her to lots of fun places like the zoo, children's museum, Rennaissance faire, etc. She is bored, wants to play with me, and while she is usually happy playing by herself, this new baby is more exciting. She's only 2 so "no" is not getting through to her. She acts like she understand why I send her to time out ("no hitting baby sister") but it doesn't stop her from doing it again.

Coloring and Legos hardly keep her attention for more than 2 minutes. I need more things she can do without me actively participating with her.

saraheve23 · August 2015

For those who haven't been to the park with both yet: beware of the toddler running away! My good friend had warned me about this but it still happened to me two days ago as I was breastfeeding on a bench and DD1 decided to bolt. I obviously went after her and explained how dangerous that was. Otherwise I've found outings are ok as long as DD2 is in the baby carrier.

Boslove · August 2015

Glad im not the only one! I've been praying for more patience lately. DD is a great big sister but now that I've involved her in all of DS routines she tries to do them without me on her own.

We've been watching Mickey mouse club house majority of the morning which I hate! She doesn't seem to enthused by activities right now. She has stopped napping so I'm a zombie. I'll be sending her back to daycare next wk for at least half days.

No real advice - GL to all the mamas hopefully we all find out routine SOON

SassetteSmurfling · August 2015

I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old and luckily they've been really good about keeping each other busy. My house is a total mess though because I have zero time/energy to pick up after them and since I'm busy with baby I'm not enforcing them cleaning up as much as I usually would. Whatever though! I do make sure to try to spend some quality time with them when baby is napping though. So far we're doing okay.

jesselayne8 · August 2015

I haven't been alone with all 3 kids yet except for maybe an hour while DH goes to the store. In general my 3.5yr is doing amazing and seems to be adjusting very well. My 2yr old is a complete mess. He spends most of the day crying or in time out.

jessandandy09 · August 2015

I haven't had LO yet but am pretty worried about this! I can't remember how this went when i did this the first time ( DD1 born in 1996, DS born in 1998). I am glad to hear some ideas, because after 6 weeks it won't be me and daddy home, it will be just Daddy and I am worried for him! And for the kids...

toccoaparker · August 2015

My (just turned) 3 year old has been great, my five year old has been a nightmare;thank God he started pre-k or I wouldn't be able to deal...

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Lalala2326 · August 2015

These are definitely some great ideas and places to start. It sounds like we are all just going to have to hang in there until we get some sort of normalcy again. I'm trying to figure out ways to let my daughter be a little more independent as she does try to do things on her own but often isn't able to due to not having access to stuff (like snacks) and needing help with other things. Having 2 definitely makes things more challenging to say the very least!

cmossman15 · August 2015

Tomorrow is my first day with my 3 year old DS and my 1 week old .. I'm a little stressed about how the day is going to go . We made sure to buy lots of snacks for DS and we have Netflix ready also, plenty of toys and bought him some new playdoh he can use. Fingers crossed it goes well

e1223 · August 2015

I have no advice, because when I had my first 2 kids (2 years apart almost exactly), I kept my older daughter in daycare for exactly this reason! I very very briefly felt guilty about it, but I knew I would not be able to do anything fun with her for quite some time, and she'd have far more fun playing with her friends at daycare. I also felt that the baby deserved some one-on-one time too. I know not everyone has that option, but seriously, if you do and can afford it (we had to pay anyway to keep her spot so it was kind of a no brainer) DO IT and do not feel guilty!! Also, accept any and all help. I think playdates are key - going to people's houses for a few hours where you can easily feed the baby and not have to worry about your toddler bolting.

Also, I distinctly remember being so so so frustrated with my 2 year old after the baby came - I think you just kind of use up all the patience reserves on dealing with a newborn, when really the toddlers are the ones who are harder.

Good luck! This time around, my older 2 are 3.5 and 5.5 and I've found it SO much easier, and they can entertain themselves when necessary, and they actually play together. So there is hope

lillyzmom · August 2015

We had a rough two weeks with my 3 year old but only at daycare. She refused to listen, cried uncontrollably and hit kids. After two weeks she stopped. She loves her baby brother and doesn't act out toward him. She gives me attitude sometimes but that's not new. My hubby works 6 days a week so I'm home with the kids are lot (although thankfully most week days hubby drops her off at daycare and I pick her up). It was scary at first but I feel grateful she loves the baby and besides the fact that he wants to be held all the time, he is a good baby.

This weekend is hard because my toddler is sick and baby is cluster feeding and no one has breast milk. My toddler wants me to hold her and the baby wants to eat at the same time. My toddler is so amazing when I tell her to wait until brother is fine eating, I'm the one that feels guilty.

bhargrave88 · August 2015

Oh I am so glad I'm not alone here.. Seriously my oldest has me in tears. Every time baby is quiet, she's doing something she shouldn't, testing the limits, and when oldest is quiet, baby is screaming. Oldest is throwing tantrums, pushing, screaming... Where did this come from?! Then there's the whole one on one time and all she does is act like a monster. I've taught her better than this! I was pumping a minute ago, when I heard this odd sound (I have a quiet spot set up so I can pump without oldest pulling on my pump and parts and etc). I get up, she's coloring all over my walls... That DH just painted!!

I feel like the worst mom ever, the shittiest mom ever, and a little kid who can't stop bawling now all rolled into one. Seriously. I can't stop crying! My husband just painted those walls a week and a half ago.
I wish I could take them outside but it's Florida, in August. 100 degree temps on the daily.. No way Jose!

saraheve23 · August 2015

Aw I totally understand what you're going through but it isn't your fault and you aren't a bad mom - you are doing your best during this tough transition. Good luck!

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