This (our first) pregnancy was absolutely planned, wanted and loved but I suppose I'm beginning to mourn our "couple days". I'm 30, DH 33 and we've been married almost 2 years (together going on 8). We were (and still are of course) totally happy, we didn't feel anything was missing from our lives. Our bucket list is about 4 pages long (mostly involving international travel) and we're extremely private people (really enjoy our alone time together). But we both knew we wanted at least 1 kiddo and I didn't want to wait too long; so we set out trying. Month 5 and BAM- astonishment and overwhelming joy. But this past weekend we were at a music festival and I started to be a little sad about the coming changes (the event was full of pregnant women and kiddos alike- so not even sure why it triggered these feelings). How will our relationship fair, how will it change? Will he still love me and me him or will little bean be the absolute center of focus? How can we maintain our lifestyle or will we even miss it? Are we secure enough in our finances? Am I to selfish to be a mom? I know little bean will be absolutely loved once he or she arrives but I'm having a hard time connecting right now... I'm 7 weeks 3 days and have our first prenatal and U/S next Monday- I'm hoping that may turn things around a little. Perhaps the MS and exhaustion are adding insult to injury? Anyone out there starting to doubt or question if this was the right path even though it was so wanted just a few months ago? Is it just hormones?
Re: Doubt Creeping In...
I think these are all pretty normal thoughts/feelings. I remember having a lot of similar thoughts when I first got my BFP. I did not know whether to feel happy/excited or sad in a way. And to be honest I have some similar thoughts now that I am pregnant with #2. I don't want people to think we are not excited because we are, but I definitely have a lot of worries/concerns and I know that the MS and being tired can really play tricks on your mind too. And to be honest, I remember feeling so excited when DD was born and then week's 3 to 5 were hard because I felt so isolated and cut off from friends and the world and was at home with a crying baby that I was struggling to soothe. I started to find my own pace later and really enjoyed it, but its hard too. A lot of people make it seem like roses and birds singing and I guess it can be, but it was never that way for me. Please keep talking about your feelings with us and your family and friends and do not feel like you are alone.
LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs
BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016