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Feeling guilty

misslissa32misslissa32 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Had my d&c today so officly no longer pregnant. My rational brain knows that something was wrong and the pregancy was not viable so it did not work out. I cried my eyes out for 2 days, and now I'm sad but feel strangely ok with it, almost slightly happy that I get a fresh start. And so I now feel guilty that I should be more upset over losing this baby. Man, hormones!! Maybe tomorrow will be different. Anyone else ?
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Re: Feeling guilty

  • MrsbearmommaMrsbearmomma member
    I was the same exact way, miserable for a couple days, then as the week continued on I started to feel less upset. Slowly but surely you will grieve and know that something could have been terribly wrong with the child if the pregnancy was allowed to continue. I'm so sorry for your loss, I wish you all the best!
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  • spatter1spatter1 member
    From the day I found out I would miscarry to about a week after my D&C I was a zombie. I cried all the time, and barely left the apartment. After that each day started getting better. Now 6 weeks later, in general I feel ok. Certain triggers are still really hard for me though like seeing pregnancy announcements or commercials. Everyone is different! I try to be as positive as I can but it is hard sometimes. I'm so sorry for your loss but happy for you that you are feeling at peace with it. Here's hoping we all find peace!

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  • whit3183whit3183 member
    It's normal for grief to be a cycle of ups and downs.  You will probably, at some point, experience a trigger that makes you feel (temporarily) sad again and may even cause you to cry.  I'm not saying that to be pessimistic, but rather to let you know that you shouldn't feel guilty about feeling ok, because it's totally normal to have a mix of emotions.  My first miscarriage was a learning experience for me because I initially thought it would be like any other disappointment in life (i.e. feeling sad, then feeling better and being completely over it).  But grief is cyclical in nature, not linear. 
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  • misslissa32misslissa32 member
    You are right. I'm miserable today. What a roller coaster. thanks for advice
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  • mizzoutigerntx80mizzoutigerntx80 member
    It comes and goes with me. Looks like that is similar to other people's experiences. But Do not feel guilty for not being is despair. I think that the fact that you are concerned about your feelings shows that you know this was a significant loss. Hoping the best for you!
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  • jonesl12jonesl12 member
    I just had a d&c on Monday night 2 hours after finding out my baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. The hardest part was seeing lthe ultrasound without a heartbeat. I am emotionally and physically exhausted and the bleeding and cramps had only barely lightened up 2 days later. I have a few friends that are pregnant and I can't help but feel "why me" . I didn't tell anybody About my pregnancy other than my husband and our parents so it makes it that much more lonely I guess. I'm scared that it could happen again next time if I can get pregnant again . I feel like I failed
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  • jbast09jbast09 member
    @jonesl12 we all know this but there was nothing you did wrong. I had a normal, healthy u/s at 9 weeks then mc at 11 weeks so I understand the feeling of failure but we can't be that hard on ourselves. Nothing we could have done. Just remember the nice moments that you had thinking about baby and when (or if) you are ready, try again. And remember, you are not alone. ❤️
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