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September 2015 Moms
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What would you do?

AtlasmomAtlasmom member
in September 2015 Moms
My good friend's bridal shower is this weekend. It's two hours away (that's a four hour drive round trip for a 2hr event). I've been struggling this week with severe dizziness, swelling, and joint pain. SO had to drive me to work today. Anyhow I'm already not going to the wedding because it's around my EDD and again 2hrs away.

I guess I don't know what to do. I don't want to miss the shower and hurt her feelings but physically I don't think I can make that drive safely. SO might be able to drive me but it all depends on his work schedule.

What would you do if you were me? I'm also hosting her work shower next week.

TIA for advice/opinions.
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Re: What would you do?

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  • str13str13 member
    I wouldn't go. You'll be able to see her at her work shower and give her love then. I'd totally understand if my friend couldn't make it, I'm sure she will too. I'd just explain to her that you're having a hard time and won't be able to make it.
    If you wanted you could send something to the shower, but since you'll see her at the work shower you really don't have to! :)
    Take it easy momma. Hope you get to feeling a little better soon!
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  • AtlasmomAtlasmom member
    My other friend is making me feel bad about it. She thinks it will hurt her feelings if I don't go because she went to my baby shower. The situation is not the same though. the shower was down the road from my friend and she wasn't sick etc. had she canceled do to illness or other emergency I wouldn't had been upset at all. Shit happens.
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  • MW5280MW5280 member
    Don't do it. Car rides are the worst :-p

    My cousin is getting married not long after my EDD, and there is a shower for his fiance the week before my EDD. (My mom and I are also hosting a shower for her this weekend, so I don't feel super bad about missing the one her sister is throwing). Its only an hour away but I'm already calling it. I'll send a gift with other family members and (hopefully) be at the wedding. But sitting around making small talk with people I don't know isn't high on my priority list at that point.
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  • Knottie1457011059Knottie1457011059 member
    I travel 4 hours every Sunday (2hrs there 2 hrs back) and let me tell you... It takes me all Monday to recover and by the time I get home I'm in so much pain and just exausted. If your still working idk because even though your just "driving" it takes a lot of out you! Do whatever you feel you can handle!
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  • piscesmommy222piscesmommy222 member
    I wouldn't even consider going. A real friend would understand you are not in a position to go right now. Put you and baby first.
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  • monicaPmonicaP member
    Facetime :)
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  • serenityuy01serenityuy01 member
    I agree with the above if she's a good friend she will understand. Being in the car right now is just the worst so don't push yourself you can make it up to her later and go for a special brunch or something after your LO gets here and your recovered.
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  • PregNancyClarkPregNancyClark member
    My good friend just cancelled for my shower on Saturday for the same reason! I didn't mind at all and I totally understand! A good friend would not care or be offended. I would never want my friend to suffer in order to attend!
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  • rebeccabloomwoodrebeccabloomwood member
    I agree with others that a good friend will understand. I'd send a gift and my best wishes.
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  • amanda1ncamanda1nc member
    My OBGYN told me do not go more than a half an hour from the hospital.  Of course my situation may be different than yours, but most doctors don't want you traveling this close to delivery and 2 hours is definitely traveling. 
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  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    Be honest with her. Also you're hosting a shower for her so I dont see why you need to attend both parties. Learn to say no, guilt-free.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • raspellraspell member
    Especially since you are hosting her work shower, I wouldn't worry about it. Right now you have more important things to worry about, and it sounds like you need to take it easy. Your friend will understand. And besides, it's not like you aren't doing anything for her.
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  • AtlasmomAtlasmom member
    Thanks everyone for the advice. She has been a really good friend and I would hate for her to think I don't care enough to even make the effort.
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