7 months and still haven't told my parents. Help....

Hayden1990 · June 2015

Please help. I am stuck in a tough situation. I am 7 months pregnant and I STILL have not told my parents. Everytime I try to tell them I get sooo nervous and I feel like throwing up, etc. I live with my parents, I am 23. Catholics, they belief in marriage before anything. But my dad is pretty weird where he found out that my bf was wanting to propose 6 motnhs ago and he got mad and said "no you're too young. Focus in school." And the next second he is asking if I am going to marry my bf and when, etc. Really weird father that I have. Really controlling. Basically I still ask permission to go out, but he says yes most of the time. My bf is 25 and we have been together for a year now. We are wanting to get married and move in before the baby gets here bbut first I must tell my parents but I get too scared of telling them. By bf has been way too patient that it's getting to the point were he is getting annoyed by the fact that I can't tell my parents. What should I do? Who else has been in this situation? Help. And yes my bf wants to be next to me when I tell them.

allrightmeow · June 2015

My sister never told my mom when she was having her first. My mother jokes that she is still waiting for someone to tell her who that 10 year old upstairs is. You just sit them down and tell them like the adult you are. You are playing into the way they treat you you know. If you aren't acting like an adult they won't treat you like one. Your boyfriend is justified in his feelings

delujm0 · June 2015

You shouldn't have to ask permission to go out if you're 23. You live in your parents home, so it's appropriate to ask permission to invite people over, but needing to clear your outside plans with them is pretty crazy.

You have 2 months now to become a grown up. Sit them down with your BF and tell them. And find a way to move out before the baby comes, for your own good.

Snoflakes4eva · June 2015

Hayden1990 said:

Please help. I am stuck in a tough situation. I am 7 months pregnant and I STILL have not told my parents. Everytime I try to tell them I get sooo nervous and I feel like throwing up, etc. I live with my parents, I am 23. Catholics, they belief in marriage before anything. But my dad is pretty weird where he found out that my bf was wanting to propose 6 motnhs ago and he got mad and said "no you're too young. Focus in school." And the next second he is asking if I am going to marry my bf and when, etc. Really weird father that I have. Really controlling. Basically I still ask permission to go out, but he says yes most of the time. My bf is 25 and we have been together for a year now. We are wanting to get married and move in before the baby gets here bbut first I must tell my parents but I get too scared of telling them. By bf has been way too patient that it's getting to the point were he is getting annoyed by the fact that I can't tell my parents. What should I do? Who else has been in this situation? Help. And yes my bf wants to be next to me when I tell them.

Time to be an adult and accept the consequences of having sex.

LeannFran · June 2015

Snoflakes4eva said:

Hayden1990 said:

Please help. I am stuck in a tough situation. I am 7 months pregnant and I STILL have not told my parents. Everytime I try to tell them I get sooo nervous and I feel like throwing up, etc. I live with my parents, I am 23. Catholics, they belief in marriage before anything. But my dad is pretty weird where he found out that my bf was wanting to propose 6 motnhs ago and he got mad and said "no you're too young. Focus in school." And the next second he is asking if I am going to marry my bf and when, etc. Really weird father that I have. Really controlling. Basically I still ask permission to go out, but he says yes most of the time. My bf is 25 and we have been together for a year now. We are wanting to get married and move in before the baby gets here bbut first I must tell my parents but I get too scared of telling them. By bf has been way too patient that it's getting to the point were he is getting annoyed by the fact that I can't tell my parents. What should I do? Who else has been in this situation? Help. And yes my bf wants to be next to me when I tell them.

Time to be an adult and accept the consequences of having sex.

This.

ACleanLife24 · June 2015

So now that your 7 months I am pretty sure both you and your parents are in complete denial. Grow up, tell them and if you want to get engaged to the father then do so. Move out, pay your own bills for your own place. The fact is that they are going to be grandparents and although its not the perfect way of doing things making the right decisions now for a stable 20+ years is what is important. They will come around eventually and probably love the fuck out of your kid... also the catholic church tisk tisks babies before marriage but is happy you get to marriage in the end. If you have an ass hole priest find another one!

ecmb · June 2015

Have you been getting prenatal care up to this point?

tpally6212 · July 2015

ecmb said:
Have you been getting prenatal care up to this point?

I was thinking the same thing.. If you still live with them and they seem to have a handle on your life you must still be on there health insurance. I don't think for a second they are unaware that you are pregnant and they are probably just waiting for you to tell them. Not to be blunt or rude but you are 23 years old and going to be a parent in a few months and the fact that you are "afraid" to tell your parents makes me question if this is something you are ready for. You are not a child and that just seems a little immature to me.

TacoSarah · July 2015

You need to put your big girl panties on and do what you need to do. You are going to come across a lot of situations and conversations in your life which make you uncomfortable. Putting them off, avoiding them and running away from them will not make them go away. The problem will get bigger and you will end up in a situation that you may not be able to get out of.

Time to behave like a grown up.

If it helps, I'm 36 and not married and was nervous about telling my parents too.

amberrmariee20 · July 2015

@Hayden1990 I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first ! My dad was PISSED at first, but he got over it ! You'll be fine, and your living with them so you have to tell them !

oneblessedmess · July 2015

I swear I responded to this post already, but I agree with PPs. Have you been getting prenatal care? If so how have you been paying for it? I also find it hard to believe your parents don't know you're 7 months pregnant when you live with them. Either they are waiting for you to say something or are in denial.

You are an adult now. You just have to sit them down and tell them. The worst that can happen is they will be pissed and then they will get over it. And if they don't, well no offense, but maybe they aren't the type of people you want to have influencing your child.

Have you considered moving out?

millereliz13 · July 2015

A dear friend of mine was in a similar situation but told her parents right away. Yes, her parents were angry, but they got over it. You need to tell them, also, if you are 7 months along, they probably know already.

xxarlannaxx · July 2015

You cannot expect them to treat you like an adult if you cannot act like one. You have to take responsibility of the choices you have made and tell them about your plans on marriage and moving out to start a life of your own. They will probably be pretty hurt and upset that you have kept this from them this long, especially if they do still see you as a child and are worried that you have not been able to provide for this baby up until this point and you only have two months left. I'm glad your boyfriend has been so patient and I'm glad he's going to be so supportive but you guys need to get this done and just tell your parents already. Eventually, they will get over it and just be happy to have a healthy beautiful grandchild.

LeannFran · July 2015

@Hayden1990 are you ever going to update us or respond to any posts? This seemed like it was weighing on your mind so I'm a little shocked with your absence. I'm also calling into question your age. The 1990 would lead me to believe you were born in '90 which would make you at least 24(depending on your birthday you could also be 25) maybe I'm reading into this too much but this could be a TROLL ladies.

stephknee · July 2015

I'm 23 and I was in your situation. My parents are christian and believe that marriage comes first. But honestly when I thought about it... I WAS 23. It's not like you're 16 and you're telling your parents your pregnant. You're an adult. What are they gonna do kick you out? At least your boyfriend supports you and is willing to marry you and be there for you. My parents weren't mad and I thought they would be PISSED but they understood that I was an adult and as long as I took responsibility for my baby that it wasn't a problem at all. They are super stoked to be grandparents now. You just have to lose the fear. It's really not gonna be as bad as you think

CrystalRaquel2010 · July 2015

My father was a Preacher, and i have never even heard my mom say the word "dang it" she is so reserved. So I understand SUPER religious parents!!

I have been pregnant before marriage (unfortunately i miscarried later on but that is kind of irrelevant to this) with my boyfriend at the time. I was 18 and just moved out with my boyfriend because i couldn't stand checking in with my parents every 15 minutes if i wanted to go out on a date.

He proposed and my parents got upset because we were already living together and we were not being traditional like the rest of my family. I was already 3 weeks pregnant when he proposed and i didn't know it yet. I was SUPER nervous telling my over protective, and really controlling parents about my pregnancy when i found out. Every time i thought about bringing it up, i would start to sweat, i could feel my heartbeat in my head it was pounding so hard, and i would start to shake.

I eventually wrote it down on a piece of paper and told my parents to sit down. I was expecting my mom to be excited because it would've been her first grandchild, and my dad to be very upset because well, he was a Preacher. I practiced what i wrote in the bathroom mirror before i went into my living room and asked them to sit. I read it off of the paper because that was the only way i did not freeze up. When i read what i wrote on the paper, my dad got really excited, started tearing up, and hugged us both and said congrats! My mom didn't talk to us for months. It wasn't until we lost our little girl that my mom started to talk to me again.

Now i am pregnant with the same guy, we are married now, and the support i am getting from them is incredible. I hope this give you one idea of what you can do.

Latina211508 · July 2015

You need to be honest and tell your parents. Sit them down and tell them the truth. You are still living under their household. You're 23 and you will do a lot things on your own once you bring a child into it. I got pregnant at 17 with my first and I didn't tell my parents until I was 6 months pregnant. I was terrified. Yes, they were upset, disappointed but they were still there for me. Honesty is the best way to go.

cMichelle0423 · July 2015

It's time to put on your big girl panties, be an adult, and tell them. I totally understand being nervous to tell them. I'm pregnant with my 3rd, I'm married to the same man who's fathered my 2 other children, and we've been together for over 6 years, and I'm nervous to tell them about this baby. I have no reason to be nervous because I know they'll be happy and excited, but some times, especially when you're still young and in you situation, still living with them, it's harder to see yourself as an adult when talking to your parents. But at the end of the day you are a grown woman and despite how your parents feel, you are allowed to live your life any way you want.

In all honesty they'll probably be more upset that you waited so long to tell them. And I really hope you have gotten prenatal care!! It's be nice to hear back from you since you've kinda left us hangin. Good luck though!

jcg&tad · July 2015

OMG, is this a serious question/topic?

You laid down had sex and got pregnant like an adult, but you can't talk to your parents like an adult. Don't act like a kid now!

I can't...

thebirdofhermes · July 2015

I'm sorry that some people are being mean on here. You obviously care very much about your parents' feelings and opinions. This baby's going to be here soon regardless, so the sooner you sit down and tell them, the better. If it would help matters, have your bf with you when you do this. Remember that after the initial shock, they will eventually be proud and happy grandparents! Best of luck.

Knottie59387608 · July 2015

How many hoodies/large sweaters do you own?!? Lol

perrysaurus · August 2015

I'm 23, and SO is 25. We have been together for 7 years and just bought our first home on January. My parents love him and encourage or relationship 100%. This being said I was TERRIFIED to tell them. We have no religious background and my parents are far from strict, they are extremely supportive. Idk why I was so scared to tell them, my SO and I made them each a card revealing they would be grandparents & sat down giving it to them they were shocked but overjoyed.

Basically what I'm saying is I don't think it matters what your status with your parents is, it can be terrifying regardless.

Good luck, the sooner you tell them the better you will feel. Any disagreement won't feel worse than the anticipation! The stress you are putting on your baby over this is NOT worth it.

acontii · August 2015

7 months?! And you're hiding it? There is no way they don't know. Act like an adult and tell them. It'll be better in the long run for all of you. I was terrified to tell my mother and yes she handled it horribly when I first told her but within 3 days she was over it and couldn't be happier.

allrightmeow · August 2015

@acontii This thread is from June.

acontii · August 2015

@allrightmeow and there were still comments from August and July? Your point?

tpally6212 · August 2015

Is there a way to remove this thread... We're never gonna get an update from this person and now it's extra annoying to see it on the first page of the group

Alyllyra · August 2015

acontii said:
@allrightmeow and there were still comments from August and July? Your point?

Well, if she was 7 months pg in June, guess what she is now? This problem has solved itself, one way or another... Besides, OP never came back.

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