Help! New SAHM Looking for Tips on Managing 24/7

Robinsc11 · August 2015

I'm the mother of two boys under the age of two and am a stay at home mom as of March. I'm loving the time with my children and my husband is a huge help, but I'm really struggling with the aspect of having a 24/7 job with no break at 5:00. How have other SAHM/Ds handled this? Do you have any scheduled "you time" once your partner is done working? I've been having horrible migraines and need a better plan to manage the stress. Would love any tips and suggestions on how to make this transition easier. Thanks!

xuxachi · August 2015

Do your boys nap at the same time? That would give you a break. Sometimes when I've had a rough day when my DH gets home I go out for a walk to get a break from the madness. We also share/take turns on bedtime routine. When my older kids were young they had a very early bedtime 6:30/7 which meant a long evening with just DH and I. It was great.

Designermomma · August 2015

I have a 6yr old and 1yr old. The oldest has karate class every other night so hubby takes him. On the days that they don't have class, I've started taking a workout class and having a night out. It's really nice to get out and talk to friends every once in a while. Since my oldest is in school now, I can nap if needed when the toddler naps during the day. I also joined some mommy groups in my area and try to wear the kids out in the morning with activities and then they'll nap good on the way home. It's a good way to get out of the house and meet other moms who can relate and have ideas and help watch your kids.

JAP09-02 · August 2015

If you figure it out let me know! In all seriousness though, I joined a gym that has daycare service for up to two hours a day. My "me" time is a Zumba class or a 30 minute walk, and if I'm really lucky a shower with no one bothering me. My baby still nurses about every 2 hour & won't take a bottle, so anytime I do get is in small bursts.

Could you hire a sitter for a couple hours each week?

annie10 · August 2015

Would you be interested in joining a moms' group. I belong to a MOPS group that meets Sept-May twice a month for 2 hrs each time and provides childcare. Its my support group. Go to mops.org to find one close to you. I believe there's also MOMS.

Could you trade off childcare with a friend or relative? I've done this before and it worked great. We'd each get one morning a month to ourselves and in return had a couple of extra kiddos another morning a month.

Like PP suggested, join a gym with childcare.

DH and I don't have any set time scheduled for me to take "off" but he's great about taking everything on when I need a break. I try to get out with friends or alone out of the house once a week.

My mother-in-law is pretty awesome about taking the kids out and giving me the house to myself, too. If no family can help, hire a sitter.

jesselayne8 · August 2015

Before my oldest was in preschool I had a sitter come once a week for 4hours. I could shop, run errands alone, get a pedi or just go to a coffee shop and read. Before this baby was born I went to the gym 3 mornings a week that had child care. As our family situation evolves, I find new ways to get alone time. I try not to rely heavily on my husband to give me free time because i know he needs a break after a stressful day at work.

Robinsc11 · August 2015

Wow, these are all fantastic suggestions and it just warms my heart. I feel better just reading them! My oldest is resisting naptime lately even though I know he still needs it (that's a post for another day!). When they do nap at the same time, it makes a huge difference! I'm looking at mommy groups in the area b/c the afternoon is always better when they get out in the morning. I also talked to my mom today who is going to come over once a week for now, and maybe every other week in the future, to help me out. This is great and I hope your responses will help other moms too. It's hard to even admit I'm struggling since I know I'm very fortunate to be able to stay home with them when so many parents don't have a choice.

Thanks again!!

hayleydeee · August 2015

Thank you for your honesty and openness! This feeling on being "on duty" 24/7 is something I struggle with too, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

That is great that your mom is going to come over. That is a lot of how I get by too (my mom helps). You've gotten some great suggestions already, and I have a few more thoughts to add.

I think over the years my definition of "me time" has evolved, and changed. I don't necessarily have to be doing something fun (or relaxing) in order to feel like I've had "time off". I just have to have time when no one needs me, and I don't have to keep track of anyone. That means that, now days, even a trip to the dentist w/ out kids feels like a treat! Running errands alone is a luxury.

Also, sometimes I have a babysitter who comes over and takes the kids out, so I can have time in my house alone. I've discovered that it's so nice to be able to just fold laundry without someone else unfolding it! When there's no kids around, the silence in the house is so loud!

I do find that time away every few days, no matter what it is, makes me a better parent.

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