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October 2015 Moms
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No more shower??

riosvriosv member
in October 2015 Moms
So my MIL was throwing me a shower at my mom's house and my mom was going to help in some things but my MIL was putting all the decorations and all those things she wanted a "fancy shower" according to her and the shower was scheduled for next Sunday but yesturday we went to her house and it turns out she doesn't want it at my mom's house anymore but all the invitations went out already and she said if we didn't make it somewhere else she wasent going to attend.. And my husband kept on telling me to listen to he's mom and all this things but I think it's so wrong of her doing this to me with the shower being 1 week away.. Anybody else have problems like this with their MIL?? Any suggestions?
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Re: No more shower??

  • RaijapattersonRaijapatterson member
    Wow that is so selfish of her. This isn't about her! It is supposed to be about you and your precious baby. Why has she had the sudden demand to change. Is it something that can't be resolved? I would really talk to her, turn on those pregnancy tears and tell her it's just too much for you to handle. If she doesn't understand that than I think I would have the shower without her. She sounds like she is not worried about how this might be causing undue stress so I don't think I'd worry about her attending the celebration. It is a really sad situation and I hope you find a solution. All my best for your shower! Congratulations
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  • riosvriosv member
    She decided to not have it at my mom's because I guess her sister didn't feel comfortable there.. So she said if we didn't do it somewhere else she wouldn't attend.. And no my mom was in charge of food and drinks and snacks..
    And yesturday we talked to her and my husband said it wasent right for her to do that and she said then just do it without me I'm not attending.. I started crying and she was yelling and I was yelling back and she told me one thing that really hurt.. She said to leave her son that all I'm doing is making him crazy :(
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  • jenspeakejenspeake member
    Don't you just love family!!   8-|

    I would keep the plan you have and those that care will attend and have a great time!!!  If she doesn't attend (or her sister) then it's their loss!  Hopefully she'll came around by shower time and see how how dumb she is behaving.  Changing the entire party location because her sister wouldn't feel comfortable?  Did her sister date your dad or something?  Geez!
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  • riosvriosv member
    Right.. She is the type of MIL that wants everything her way she wants my husband to always listen to her! She always wants to come first.. And my husband is letting her! Right now he isn't very happy with me because I want the shower to still go on and he dosent.. He is such a mom's boy! Ever since we got married she has always tried to get between us! She wants my husband to listen to her in everything ans I don't like that so we always have problems but yesturday he told me that he needed time from me that maybe it was true what he's mom was telling him that I was just making him stressed and crazy! And all this other things without seeing how hurt i was! Hope things get resolved :(
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  • kathyxoxokathyxoxo member
    i had issues also with my MIL like seriously it was so annoying at first , i spoke to him & i let him know either is me& your son or her it sounded rude but we're married and she dont have no right to come in between us , especially he's the only child ugh it was stressful very stressful , he did change and now is all about me & his son , you can deff see her feeling left out now , but i always try to be nice and all but she will always say her comments or say something hurtful and i was done already and i told him straight up & he realize that his little family comes first now & that his mom needs to respect, if i were you i will talk to him & let him know him know how you feel, never talk sh** about his mom lol even though you want to make yourself look like the angel and let him know that now hes qon be a father and there needs to be respect and that you guys come first & yup i will do it at your mothers house is your shower , if she has a issue then she should tell her sister to not come point blank . Lol dont stress yourself but i know how it is.
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  • riosvriosv member
    It's so stressful!! Ever since we got married she's been acting like this! And the sad part is that he dosent understand he tells me he's not letting her come between us but he clearly is! Whenever me and he's mom argue he won't be the same with me he will be cold and just plane rude.. And I have tried to explain to him that he needs to see that were having our own family now but he dosent seem to understand.. Because the mom is like so posesive and if she dosent like something she always tells him to forget he has a mom and all this things!
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  • riosvriosv member
    Exactly how I fee I told my husband I don't plan on changing the location and if she is wanting to attend she is welcomed but if not then it's all on her.. How bad is it going to look for her to call all her guest saying the shower got cancelled cause she is not going...
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  • riosvriosv member
    The thing that upsets me the most is that my husband rather me not have a shower if he's mom is not going..
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  • nbpa3027nbpa3027 member
    Your husband is probably hurt that his mother would not be attending. If he is anything like my husband, he has probably picked up a manipulative tactic or two from his mother and trying to get you to cave to changing the location.
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  • riosvriosv member
    But for him to hurt me by telling me all those things was not right! He's mother was screaming telling me to leave her son alone already.. Image how I felt.. It's like if he's listening to her
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  • flerbnerbinflerbnerbin member
    The thing is that a shower isn't about her and her feelings, or even his feelings. It's about celebrating the life growing inside of you. As in, you're going to look back and regret being bullied into something you don't want, especially if this is your first baby. You may have arguments about it, but in the end you decide if it's worth it to you.
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  • riosvriosv member
    I already have!! And he dosent seem to understand.. Everyone has told me he needs to grow up! He's married!! And he can't be listening to everything g he's mom tells him to do! He hasn't even talked to me since the morning when he usually texts me throughout the day..
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  • nbpa3027nbpa3027 member
    SouthernCharmedLife said:

    Your H needs to collect his balls from his mothers purse. YOU are his pregnant wife. You come first. Not her. It's time for a come to Jesus talk with your husband.

    Since it only lets you like things once, I thought I would just put this here again.

    Speaking from experience, if you don't get your husband on your side now, it will only get worse once the baby is born.
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  • SouthernCharmedLifeSouthernCharmedLife member
    riosv said:

    I already have!! And he dosent seem to understand.. Everyone has told me he needs to grow up! He's married!! And he can't be listening to everything g he's mom tells him to do! He hasn't even talked to me since the morning when he usually texts me throughout the day..

    If this is the case, maybe you should consider some counseling. If he's constantly allowing his mother to interfere in your marriage, you are going to continue to have problems.
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  • riosvriosv member
    Any advice on what I should do to try to make him understand its not about he's mother anymore?
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  • saraking437saraking437 member
    If you have calmly talked to him and told him what a little baby he is being and he is still acting like one, then there is nothing else I think you can do. Have your baby shower at your moms house. Try to enjoy it. Don't feed their petty, immature crap. If he sees you taking the high road he MIGHT realize what a jerk he is being. I am truly sorry that you are going through this. I know the things he said and the way he is acting have got to be very, very hurtful. I really hope he cuts the cord with mommy dearest soon for your sake. 
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  • riosvriosv member
    I know I really hope also.. I have tried to make him understand that he shouldn't be acting like this anymore because he is starting he's own family.. But he doesn't seem to get it.. It's like if he wants me to feel responsible for all he's actions.. He tells me he needs space and all this things when he never had before!!
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  • atlasbrockatlasbrock member
    Keep the party at your mom's house, she is now the host. If you want decorations, go get $3 target plates and napkins and get some floor length ballons. That's all you need, it will be a fun time, enjoy your shower.

    Next time your MIL yells at you, just respond with, as soon as you calm down we can discuss this.
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  • riosvriosv member
    We decided we are going to have my shower at my mom's with our guests.. And cheap affordable decorations.. We don't need her and when she starting yelling at me telling me to leave he's son alone I walked out
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