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June 2015 Moms
kendalrw
member
Screaming Baby - Help!
kendalrw
member
First off, I'd like to introduce myself. I have been here since October, but never really had the chance to ask any questions because after searching the board, you lovely ladies covered a majority of it. I just want to say thank you all for being so helpful through this whole process, as it is a whole other world for me! Anyways, I am a first time mom to a beautiful 8 week old boy. So, hello!
Basically, I'm stumped.
It seems my LO is going through a stage where he always needs to be held by me. The only way he takes naps is on me. I've been trying for a week now to put him down for naps, and so far I've squeezed one 45 minute nap (hallelujah!), but every other time after I set him down he wakes right up and refuses to be put back down, which makes for an extremely long day. I've tried everything from white noise, to putting him down drowsy but not asleep, tried the RnP, swing, crib with no avail. Seems like this little guy just wants his mom. Most days I don't even try putting him down because it saves us time and screams, plus I try to take advantage of all the snuggles before I go back to work and I know babies can't get too many snuggles/attention.
By the time DH comes home, all I ask for is a shower and some time to pick up the house since my days are usually filled with trying to get this kiddo to take a nap. DH is more than happy to take LO for a bit while I do these things, but LO screams the entire time. There's nothing DH can do to console him, and he usually doesn't stop screaming until I pick him up again. I feel terrible because DH feels like LO doesn't like him, and gets frustrated that there's nothing he can do to calm him down. I keep telling him that it's not his fault, just love on LO and hope that he gets it one of these nights. I am not for crying it out, and I hate to hear him screaming, but this mama needs a break every now and then.
I guess my question is, are any of you ladies dealing with a situation like this? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this little man to pieces and I love how he has already made an attachment towards me, but how do we get him to feel as comfortable with DH? I defintely dont mind loving on LO and being there to hold him, but having a couple hours every now and then to myself is necessary for my sanity, and listening to LO scream while I'm trying to "relax" is next to imppssible. Im also worried about the fact that he will be going to daycare in a month, and the thought of him crying like this and me not being there for him breaks my heart. If you ladies have any tricks, please help a mama out!
Basically, I'm stumped.
It seems my LO is going through a stage where he always needs to be held by me. The only way he takes naps is on me. I've been trying for a week now to put him down for naps, and so far I've squeezed one 45 minute nap (hallelujah!), but every other time after I set him down he wakes right up and refuses to be put back down, which makes for an extremely long day. I've tried everything from white noise, to putting him down drowsy but not asleep, tried the RnP, swing, crib with no avail. Seems like this little guy just wants his mom. Most days I don't even try putting him down because it saves us time and screams, plus I try to take advantage of all the snuggles before I go back to work and I know babies can't get too many snuggles/attention.
By the time DH comes home, all I ask for is a shower and some time to pick up the house since my days are usually filled with trying to get this kiddo to take a nap. DH is more than happy to take LO for a bit while I do these things, but LO screams the entire time. There's nothing DH can do to console him, and he usually doesn't stop screaming until I pick him up again. I feel terrible because DH feels like LO doesn't like him, and gets frustrated that there's nothing he can do to calm him down. I keep telling him that it's not his fault, just love on LO and hope that he gets it one of these nights. I am not for crying it out, and I hate to hear him screaming, but this mama needs a break every now and then.
I guess my question is, are any of you ladies dealing with a situation like this? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love this little man to pieces and I love how he has already made an attachment towards me, but how do we get him to feel as comfortable with DH? I defintely dont mind loving on LO and being there to hold him, but having a couple hours every now and then to myself is necessary for my sanity, and listening to LO scream while I'm trying to "relax" is next to imppssible. Im also worried about the fact that he will be going to daycare in a month, and the thought of him crying like this and me not being there for him breaks my heart. If you ladies have any tricks, please help a mama out!
Re: Screaming Baby - Help!
Both DH and I have different ways of quieting baby, but one way we can both use to calm him or get him sleepy is to bounce on an exercise ball. I got our exercise ball at Walmart for I think $10-$15.
I can't really think of a way to make baby accept DH other than to have you wear one of DHs t-shirts for a day or two (sleep in it, even) - get your smell all over that shirt, then have DH wear it when he handles LO. Might work. Doesn't cost you anything to try, anyway.
On a side note - I got LO asleep and put down tonight. I told DH to keep an eye on him while I went to take a bath. I ran the bath and went to get in, DH had used all the hot water on his 45 minute shower. I almost cried. I finally got some time for me and it was ruined!
This doesn't solve your problem 100% but can you wear him in a carrier during the day so you can get the house picked up? And maybe DH can also wear him while you shower, if LO gets used to it?
Can you spend time together the three of you, to help LO and DH have positive interactions together? Our favorite time together is first thing in the morning, laying LO between us in bed, snuggling and playing with him.
I don't know, really, sorry. Good luck! You sound like a great mama.
ETA I didn't like letting her cry it out either. I also can't construct a paragraph while sleep deprived. Sorry if that's hard to follow.
I've been wearing LO in a stretch wrap during the day so I can do something productive, even if it's never really a whole lot since I can't bend over with him in it. He naps really well in there and I can pee/brush my teeth/load the dishwasher/whatever without feeling like I'm abusing him for not letting him nap ever. He won't sleep, even in a swaddle, during the day unless he's hugging my chest. At night he's fine in his bassinet.
DH has been wearing him the last few days. LO will fuss for a bit, but calms down when DH walks him around. Outside is our cure for baby fussiness, so DH takes him out the second he gets him.
The wrap smells like me since I wear it all day every day, so I am sure that helps to calm LO when DH has him. It's rough, sister. We've got this. It's just a phase.
My only other thought would be trying to place baby while sleeping in a spot that's been warmed with a hearing pad and has your smell on it. Perhaps also try to get baby use to sleeping on the bed next to you, laying tummy to tummy, and eventually moving away from her. I do this each night with my little guy, he tries to stay close but eventually the sleepiness is strong enough and I can roll away. We use to cuddle all night, but I want him to be able to sleep on his own. Now he will even sometimes sleep in his crib for a short while during the day, yay! But we certainly had to work our way there, he likes to sleep in his swing or on mommy too. Best of luck!
I know this isn't the point of the thread, and I'm sorry I have no advice. Hopefully it will get better soon!
By the way, DH used the wrap last night and LO fell right to sleep with him! Woohoo!