Breech baby, losing all excitement/positive thoughts on pregnancy

ktcramer8 · August 2015

FTM, my pregnancy has been such a pleasant, welcome, experience. At 35 weeks, still working full time without issues but for the very frequent bathroom breaks. I actually like my pregnant figure and my relationship with my husband is better than ever. But at my 34 wk visit doc thinks baby's breech...

It's hitting me really hard. One week of obsessive attempts for baby to flip without effect. I was so "woman-power" adrenaline-rush of I-can-get-through-labor and it feels like that's been taken from me. I thought I could move mountains and embrace the natural, pain with a purpose, progression of labor. I feel like a failure before anything has even begun. I know I've still got a few more weeks for a flip to happen, but I'm resigning myself to the harsh reality of a pending c-section.

Way more medically involved than I wanted my birth to be. Way more meds, tougher time establishing breast feeding, far tougher recovery. Likely to drastically change my post-partum needs in terms of outside help with baby.

Looking for anyone with a positive c-section experience to help turn my attitude on c-sections around.

Growingapepper · August 2015

I'm so sorry you feel this way

vaginal deliveries are still possible with breech babies, just not widely practiced. Maybe you can find a Dr who specializes in breech delivery?

MiromiM · August 2015

I can relate. After being head down from 18 weeks, I arrived to L&D Wednesday evening after increased contractions to find out my baby's breached. I haven't started dilating yet so there's still time but the contractions are getting worse as the days go by. I would wait a few more weeks before resigning yourself.

jeninaz1221 · August 2015

My first was an emergency c section at 31 weeks because of a placental abruption, and it was really, really hard for me to cope with the loss of the birth I pictured in my head.

My second (just born) I was bound and determined and prepared to VBAC, but then baby's heart rate was dropping after every contraction, so the doctor strongly urged a repeat C.

Both recoveries were easier than I thought. The spinal block was not painful at all, and I was able to get up and around quickly afterward both times. Meds is up to you... Narcotics don't sit that well with me so both times I had maybe 1-2 pills in the hospital and have been managing just fine with Motrin otherwise.

I sort of think that the whole "breastfeeding is harder after a c section" thing is a myth. I got a bag of oxytocin afterward this time, and have been very successful with breastfeeding. My baby is 5 days old and was already almost back up to birth weight yesterday (they generally like to see that within the first two weeks). I was even able to successfully breastfeed my first to 20 months, and that was after him not being able to eat by mouth initially in the NICU, having to pump for the first couple of months, and really having to work at establishing an exclusive breastfeeding relationship.

I completely understand your disappointment, and believe me, I was there for the past couple of years as well. I feel better about it this time, I don't know if it's because I was able to give it a shot and actually labor and experience that. There are a lot of upsides to c sections, and ultimately the most important thing is having a healthy baby. I would have hated myself if I would have insisted on going through with the VBAC against medical advice and then something happened to my baby.

lcarp203 · August 2015

I think it is still way too early to get down on yourself. I am still breech too and my doc said that more often then not babies won't flip til 38 was or later. At 38 if I have not flipped we will schedule a c-section bit even then many babies will flip by the time ladies get to the hospital. If I flip after the c-section is scheduled, they will cancel send me home and let me go naturally. Even if it is at the very moment I enter the hospital for my Csection. I would try not to stress about it.

chelseajeanene · August 2015

I have 2 success stories for breech babies to make you feel better, so don't give up hope! My little sister was delivered naturally and breech and had not 1 complication. My friends son was breech up until the very end. She ended up going 11 days past her due date and he magically flipped on his own, and she delivered in 3 pushes. It can happen! Don't stress

lindsertart · August 2015

I am 34+2 and my doctor said baby's direction doesn't concern her until 36 weeks -- so there is still time! I told her I keep feeling movement below my belly button/on the left side and that I wasn't sure if it was an arm wave or a kick! Let's hope our kiddos turn around in the next couple of weeks.

pregat40 · August 2015

I agree with what everyone said but also want to add this perspective because I have only been able to deliver via section the first time overdue 2 weeks, induced, labor 3 days, section because of failure to progress. The 2nd time 10 days overdue, labor started spontaneously 10 hours labor fully dilated ended up with a section due to decels in her heart. Trust me I have been there and felt like a failure too so I completely understand. My kids are 16 and 21 so I've parented for a long time now. I am saying don't beat yourself up because in general parenting has a way of making you feel like you could, always improve. There will be so many more opportunities to feel like a failure because parenting comes with no manual. You cant control Lo's position so focus on all the positive things you've mentioned instead. Also I will add kids grow up to be independent, free thinkers and despite your best efforts, time spent, sacrifices made sometimes they grow and tell you how you "failed them" just give them time.....lol.

paine0925 · August 2015

Have you looked up spinning babies?? Those who do their instructions have staggering results - they are amazing - excellent way to try and turn breech babies!

KYmama9286 · August 2015

So this is baby #4 and for me, over time and experience I've come to realize how little it matters how baby arrives and this is coming from someone who had unmedicated births and was very into watching what my body could do, etc. (similar to how you described)... And here's what I've come to learn- every experience is amazing and magical and a true miracle. Delivering a healthy baby with a healthy mom is top priority (obviously) and as a mom of a kiddo with special needs and watching friends go through some tough times it's become apparent that how baby makes its arrival has very little to do with the bonding and relationship you have with your child.

Please dont get discouraged or feel like you are missing some vital female experience- you are still having your sweet babe, an unmedicated vaginal delivery doesn't guarantee rainbows and sunshine and perfect breastfeeding (I had an awful recovery after baby #3 unmedicated and felt terrible for weeks, despite not tearing...and breastfeeding was also a disaster) baby #3 is now 2.5 and we are best buds and super bonded.

I had an amazing recovery with #2 and not as many breastfeeding woes and struggled to bond but again, she's 3.5 now and we are so close and bonded.

You can decide how your experience will be by choosing to stay positive. I can understand the frustration of feeling like your choices are taken away (I developed some medical issues and will have to get an epi, possibly csection...high chance baby will need nicu time, etc) I had a few weeks where I was sad but then remembered how little this all matters in the Grande scheme of a parent Child relationship. Birthing a child is a profound experience, regardless of how that happens. I hope this doesn't sound preachy or know-it-all because that's not my intent, just wanted to try and encourage you that your birth experience can still be wonderful and profound and life changing even if it doesn't go as planned.

theglitteredpterodactyl · August 2015

I'm sorry this is turning into such a stressful experience for you. I'd echo what the others are saying, that there's still time and maybe look into the process of delivering a breech since it can be safely done, as long as the doctor feels confident about helping you through it.

Also, though, the one birthing book I've been reading occasionally is Mindful Birthing and while it's big thing is mentally preparing yourself for a natural birth, it really focuses on being mindful of the birth experience you actually have--this is such an organic, natural experience for your body to go through and while a c section might be more intervention than you wanted, it's still the birth of your baby and a really special, magical and awesome moment. Lots of women recover easily and smoothly, so try not to build the stories of What If too much in your head.

Best of luck and I hope you find a way to embrace the experience you have.

missliz53 · August 2015

I just went through a c-section for a breech baby. They helped me do skin to skin with her in the o.r. and even got her latched on and nursing. I'm definately struggling with the pain, but it's mostly around getting in and out of bed, and sitting on the toilet. But I've also gotten to do tons of skin to skin with baby and I love it. DH is changing the diapers and the nurses are helping me breast feed. The breast feeding has been a struggle, but it's my lack of coordination causing the problems, baby is latching on great.

I don't feel robbed at all by not having a vaginal delivery. I'm thankful that baby is healthy and doing well and I feel super bonded to her. And she didn't have to go through the trauma of being squeezed through a small opening. Hopefully this helps. Either way you're a rock star.

mrscheetah · August 2015

I am in the same exact boat: I found out at 33 weeks that LO was breech and two weeks later he/she does not seem to have ANY interest in turning. I have tried ice packs, breech tilts, knees to chest, all fours, etc etc. I struggled A LOT when I first found out for many of the same reasons you mentioned and I continue to struggle but I'm making some progress.

A big thing that has helped me has been talking to women I know who have had c sections about their experience. many have told me that they did not envision having a c section BUT not a single one has told me it was a horrible experience. women who have c sections are NOT failures. I am sure there are women like this in your life. Do you consider THEM failures? I imagine not. One very dear friend told me to think of the birth experience as like your wedding-it is a day in your life, certainly important, but the wedding is not nearly as important as the marriage, just as your birth experience is not nearly as important as your experience of being a mom and raising a child.

I'm also a very spiritual person-I don't know if you are-and I have tried throughout this entire pregnancy to surrender everything to my higher power. If my LO doesn't turn and I have to have a c section, I know there's a reason He wants that for me and I know it will be the right thing for me.

Lastly, remember that the most important thing is a healthy baby and a healthy baby. I know lots of women who have healthy, beautiful children because they had c sections when even a hundred years ago, those women and their children would have died.

I know it's hard to give up the dream. I continue to hope LO turns. But I know that whatever my birth experience is, it will be beautiful and it will be right for me. Good luck to you!

TabulaRasa25 · August 2015

I am in the exact same boat.

I have a bicornuate uterus and marginal cord insertion, and we knew that breech was a possibility and that c-section would be highly likely if breech presentation occurred. This has been a known possibility all along, and it's different than it is for women with a normally formed uterus, who, yes, still have a reasonable likelihood of the baby turning spontaeously in the last weeks. That rarely happens with bicornuate uterus, and depending on degree of septation, it's often unsafe to manually attempt a turn. There simply isn't enough room, and there is a muscular septum in the way.

None the less, even prepped for the possibility, I was crestfallen this week at my ultrasound (34 weeks) to learn that, yep, he's breech. At his size right now, and given my degree of uterine malformation (he's wedged in the right horn), manually turning him is not recommended and could cause problems with the marginal cord insertion. He also is highly unlikely to spontaneously turn, again, due to the bicornuate uterus' septum. Turning is sometimes possible for people with a normally formed uterus. I am not one of those people. I feel sad.

My doctor gently, but firmly advised me not to hold my breath on him flipping, due to the uterine abnormality. I'm thankful that I have a month-ish to wrap my head around it, but this was not my preference, and I'm having to adjust my expectations. I don't feel like a failure. I've known about my uterine abnormality for years, and knew very well that breech and c-section are common outcomes for women with a bicornuate uterus. I just feel sad and anxious now that it's not a maybe, it's reality. I did not want this medically involved a birth process, at all. I'm very anxious for what this means for my recovery, as well (I'm a FT graduate student and don't get maternity leave). I feel like the spontaneity has been taken completely out of the equation, now that it's just been scheduled like I'm getting my tonsils out. It feels like a clinical procedure, now, not a personal, beautiful experience, and I'm grappling with that.

I'll get over it, but for now, just a day or so after learning that this is how it's 99% gonna be, I'm just sad.

PregNancyClark · August 2015

Physically, my recovery was pretty amazing. My husband helped me of course, but I was fully up and around by the time we got home. We fought hard to breastfeed since it was an uphill struggle for us, but we won that battle and it became very easy and awesome after the first two months.
My scar is almost invisible and I have no lasting ill effects at all.
Emotionally I had trouble for a long time, and I still have some grief over how things went down... But you don't have to feel that way. You can be prepared and have a clear birth plan that makes this as happy an experience as possible.
I hope baby turns- there IS still time. But if not, you can make the best of this, you really can.

Growingapepper · August 2015

Also forgot to say in my first post, the baby could still flip! Ive heard people say they know of babies that didn't flip until labor started. Don't lose hope

GeorgiaDottie · August 2015

Webster method of chiro! Good luck!'

ktcramer8 · August 2015

Many thanks. Truly appreciate trying to bring all of this into the long-term perspective of how many other factors are beyond our control on this journey of parenthood. And I'm certainly of the superstitious opinion that this whole pregnancy was too good to be true.

No options for Webster-chiro around here, life in a small town comes with some limits. Keeping up on all of the spinning babies techniques but without much faith they'll work on my little one; each attempt seems to bring squirming and a 15-20 degree tip and then babies head rests right where it's been.

Happy last few weeks to all!

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