Feeling bad for child #1

KatieRu920 · August 2015

We just had our 2nd baby on Monday. Our DS turns two on sunday. So far, he loves his sister and has been adjusting great. But, I feel awful. I hated being away from him while in the hospital and just feel so guilty. I didn't work for the last 3 weeks before having the baby so we did every little thing together and I think that's just bumming me out even more. I physically can't do certain things with him while recovering but also obviously the baby needs me too. And I'm worried because the baby is easy right now, mostly just sleeping, so I'm worried how I'll feel when she's more needy. I expected these feelings but they're very intense and I feel so guilty and just miss my time with my son so much. Just had to share and I guess hopping for reassurance.

kettlekitten · August 2015

I think it is completely normal to feel guilty?? I certainly am. I've hardly seen DD since DS was born on Tuesday (she has been with grandparents and DH and just visiting me and DS in the hospital in the afternoons). She will be back home with us all tonight and I'm pretty worried about whether I will be able to give her enough attention... Especially With me being so tired and just needing to do nothing..

I told her off last night as she was leaving the hospital with the grandies, as she was fiddling with the door handle after I had told her several times not to.. She looked so sad I nearly cried with the guilt! Ah fun times ahead for us...

Chryssa-72603 · August 2015

I feel the same way. I'm a teacher, so DS & I always spend the whole summer doing everything together. He is almost 5 and has been amazing since the baby was born. He is an awesome big brother and has been completely understanding about my needing rest as I recover from my c-section. But I have definitely snapped at him over nothing more than once, and I do miss our time together. He has been so sweet and says that all of it is ok. :-)

HarleenQuinz86 · August 2015

It's a normal feeling. Just make sure when you can to give lots of hugs and cuddles to your older child. Maybe have them sit next to you in bed or on the couch and just cuddle and watch a movie or their favorite show while you feed the baby. Have them help with grabbing diapers or wipes or a blanket for baby. Include them and they won't feel left out or resentment toward the baby for "taking their mommy".

mjones0721 · August 2015

I haven't had my LO yet but I've been worried about feeling this way too. DS is used to sharing me with my nephews that live with us but they are 10, 11, and almost 14 so it's not like they need my constant attention and they probably seem almost like adults to him. My friend came over with her 10 month old the other day and DS got upset when I was just talking to the baby, I wasn't even holding him. Have a feeling I'm in for a rough adjustment period.

hclzmm14 · August 2015

It's been hard for me too. I've been home for 9 days and feel like DD1 doesn't even like me anymore. She won't come sit with me or ask me to read to her or give me hugs and kisses. My mom is here helping so she asks her to do everything. I miss her when she is in the same room with me lol... And I feel guilty because I brought this on her in a way and she had no idea really because she is so young.

bpwife&mama · August 2015

I am feeling this as well. DS and I are best buddies and I feel like he looks at me like "why don't you love me the same anymore"??? It breaks my heart. I'm starting to feel better so yesterday he and I went out and got everything he needs for preschool in a few weeks. He seemed to love the time with me.

BlindSheep · August 2015

We came home from the hospital yesterday on DD's 4th birthday. Fortunately, she's very excited about her new sister. I definitely have to keep reminding myself right now that we wanted her to have a sibling and how special that bond is going to be.

CaliforniaDream87 · August 2015

Same. We're actually discharging early because I cannot be away from DS for two days. He isn't taking to his sister as well just yet and I feel terrible. I feel like caring for our newborn is more time consuming which will take away time with him. Hoping things get better! I know it's worth it!

Lalala2326 · August 2015

Feeling the same. DD is 2.5 and is overall adjusting okay, but she is definitely acting out more particularly when I am breastfeeding and can't help her with things immediately. I'm also exhausted (baby girl has decided she doesnt' need sleep at night anymore), and my patience is definitely not as great as normal. I miss being able to do things with DD as easily. We used to get out and do something fun every morning. I just got the okay to drive again, so I guess I need to figure out what we can do reasonably with a newborn now. Even her gymnastics classes and library storytimes are closed till September, so we are really floundering here.

Baby2HG · August 2015

I feel the same way. Like baby #2 is taking mommy away from dd. I think its normal.

lethanne · August 2015

I hope this is completely normal because I've been feeling the same way. My first almost seems mad at me and is favoring his dad right now.

Shine2015 · August 2015

I am not feeling too guilty yet, but DH took 2 weeks off of work so one of us can be with the baby and one with DS. I am super nervous for when he returns to work next week.

brookevirlaine · August 2015

I also was really nervous for this! Right now I'm about 3 weeks PP and DS is so in love with his baby sister, still! Lol. Which i think helps. But i also do my best to keep things kinda normal. I still make sure to read him his bedtime stories and play with him as much as i can when DD is sleeping or content in her swing.

Feeling bad for child #1

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