Baby Shower before or after birth?

Krisdee123 · August 2015

I'm a FTM and my girlfriends want to throw me a shower. It feels like such a gift grab to do it before the birth, should I just wait until after baby arrives so everyone can see it?

ntyravgsp · August 2015

That could be a good idea if your scheduling for a shower is conflicting with the holidays - people are usually super busy that time of year.
But I don't know that I'd be confortable with that many strangers around/wanting to hold my newborn. Flu & cold season, you know. @-)

MrsB915 · August 2015

I think it's traditional to have the shower before the baby comes and people won't think it is rude if baby isn't there. I also agree with pp that our babies will be born in the height of cold and flu season so I wouldn't want mine passed around with that many people. It's also nice to be able to set things up, wash clothes and blankets before baby arrives.

That being said my son was 8 weeks early so I missed my shower and didn't want to even talk about rescheduling it while he was in the NICU. So my shower was in April or May, about 2 or 3 months after he was born. DH brought him for the last half hour and we only let a couple of people hold him... after lathering up in hand sanitizer, that is

Krisdee123 · August 2015

Smart. I didn't even think about flu season.

ashs88 · August 2015

Also, a lot of things you register for will be things you'd want/need right away after baby is born. If you don't have the shower until after the birth you will either have to buy all the necessities yourself or go without for a while.

QueenCarlissa · August 2015

All the other PP's hit on everything I wanted to say. Flu season and majority of things are for baby immediately. But ultimately it's your choice.

Monilee1017 · August 2015

I would do it before. As others have said you will want some of those items for when baby is born, plus you are not going to want to run out with baby after the shower to buy the items you need that you didn't get. Also there is the issue with the flu. If the flu is not an issue for you and you plan on buying all items yourself then just do a sip and see. When I go to one i bring something small like a few books, clothes or something that I think would be special for them as they are not big gift giving events.

UptownPearl · August 2015

Register for everything you need, let others get you what they want, then go get what you still need on your registry with a discount (that's the reason for putting big ticket items on your registry that you would never expect someone else to actually buy for you). You will not want to deal with the stress of still getting needed supplies or attending a shower after baby comes. You have no idea how long you'll take to heal and feel like being sociable until after baby arrives anyways.

MommyAlexia · August 2015

What UptownPearl said. Second time mom here, and definitely before.

jrouge12 · August 2015

Showers are traditionally before the big event (weddings, births) and people won't expect baby to be there. The shower is just as much about mom! If you feel like it's a "gift grab" then make sure whoever is hosting knows you just want close friends and family there. I only think someone is being gift greedy when I'm invited to a shower for someone I barely know and there's 100 other people there.

tinne004 · August 2015

Most chicks have the shower before, BUUUUTTTT.... if you have a party afterwards, then you will still get gifts, people can see the baby, AND you can maybe have a drink with your girls :-)

Myelhsa · August 2015

Do one before and after! Maybe it's "gift-grabby" but you'll get double the presents from the shmucks that show up to both!!

MommaB16 · August 2015

Gahhhh showers after the birth make me cringe : ( of course it's human nature for everyone to go gah gah over a newborn. But a newborn around all those germs in the winter... And all those germy adults will bring their germy kids... Yah just not for me. And i'm honestly not a complete germaphobe, this idea is just too much.

ellaxo1 · August 2015

I am doing mine before. First reason being flu/cold season. Second I am a FTM and have no idea how I will feel and will have to adjust so not sure if I would want to be having a party or going to one. I am doing mine October 25th, I am not sure if this is early or not, but I wanted to avoid the holidays and also avoid the crazy Chicago winter weather and having to worry about a blizzard or freezing cold temperatures for my guests.

katherines2ndminime · August 2015

I'm doing mine before because I kinda feel opposite, that's it's a gift grab to do after. My SIL did it after but everyone had already bought things when my niece was born so we didn't know what else to get. A lot of people didn't show up.

babyprest · August 2015

SO MANY things we NEEDED right when we brought our first baby home was given to us at the baby shower. It was so helpful and made the nursery preparations run so much more smoothly having the shower before the baby arrived. The purpose of the shower is to be showered with gifts by the ppl who love you and want to show their support for your new family. I would not wait until after the birth, in my opinion the baby shower should be done before the baby arrives, it was just so much more helpful being extra prepared for our little ones arrival.

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