January 2015 Moms

Help?

hi, so this is a delicate topic. My husband. Lately I'm not sure how our relationship is working. We've always fought but lately I'm not getting hurt I'm just getting sick of it.. But saddly, in the past, he has been known to be abusive. Lately we have fought because I have been too exhausted to engage in intercourse. Sometimes it'll just be him getting mad and turning over or he can get mad and we can fight. And now its about money and we've got good savings and my dad is in need and he just gets mad every time my dad needs me. I'm not sure i want to leave him but this draining relationship is not good for me and definitely not for baby.. Half of the time i feel like a single parent anyways since I'm the one who does mostly everything. When he does help, the help lasts a few days and he goes back to his macho attitude. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally and don't know what to do. We can be so happy one moment only to be fighting horribly the next..

Re: Help?

  • I am so sorry that you are having problems. I would strongly consider counseling. While online support is great, and is a wonderful resource, you need to find someone, anyone, in real life that will give you the strength you need to leave him. If he is abusive towards you, he could be abusive towards your child. It is not just about you anymore, and you have to think about what it best for your child.

    I know it is easy for me to sit here and say that across a computer. It is an entirely different thing to actually do it. That is why I say find someone, a pastor at a church, a close, trusted friend, family member, ANYONE who can help you.

    Based on your post, this is about more than just fighting.
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  • I know.. Its just that i don't even have friends anymore because he is so controlling. This is the only place i can vent and he doesnt check My parents dont live close and I cant just up and leave my work and school. And we try not to fight in front of baby but sometimes he sees and he does get scared. I dont want him to be like his dad at all. As i type this i realize our relationship is wrong but as I live it i try to justify him because 'sometimes he is great'.. Thank you for your words. I hope i can figure out something
  • Unfortunately relationships that are abusive (in any sort of way) tend to be draining. Think of it as a well... Some people have a deep well and some others runs more shallow but eventually it runs out. Ask yourself where you see yourself in six month, one year, five years, but from what you wrote it sounds as if your your mind is just about made up. Follow your instinct.
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