Huge Fight with My Husband

ChrissyD1203 · August 2015

I'm so sad. I don't even know what to make of it. At my u/s today I got my first 3D pic. I was so excited. I thought the baby looked perfect in it. I put it in a frame and when my husband got home I ran over to show it to him (although I had emailed it to him earlier and he made some remark like "scarey" or something). Anyway when I showed it to him he was like that's so weird looking, that's not a picture you frame. I burst out hysterical crying. My husband never really talks to the baby or acts excited - which I just assumed was men being different than women. But his reaction just broke my heart. Anyway he has spent the past 6 hrs waiting for his apology from me on why I acted like such a child and how I need to be more of an adult. I tried to explain how I was feeling and that I was probably hormonal and he said that was no excuse and obviously I was making it up because I didn't seem upset after his email comment.

maddisonwallace · August 2015

Ugh

that hurts. It might just take some time for it to settle in that that's his CHILD in that picture. It could be very surreal, and let's be honest we are all hormonal and touchy right now. But that was still hurtful. Sometimes the best thing to do is just to apologize and leave his apology up to him and move on. No reason to let it fester and damage your relationship. He has plenty of of room to redeem himself if you just move on and love him even though he was totally a jerk

cawalp · August 2015

I would never apologize for the hormones that he had a part in putting into you. When I get ridiculous, I just tell my husband that I realized that I overreacted and he probably could have handled it better. I agree with PP though, sometimes it is hard to guys to realize exactly what is happening inside you and not to be rude but I think some of the 3D pictures are a little weird too. Just try to see things from his point of view and don't hold onto the anger because it could become a much bigger deal if you do.

MamaHolland · August 2015

Those 3D ultrasound pics freak me out that's why I'm not getting one. There's unidentifiable squishy fleshy substances in the pics & sometimes parts of the face are distorted and the baby looks deformed or like it has tumors. Maybe the photo just freaked him out because those photos really don't look 100% normal. People visualize things different and if the photo is distorted then it could look like the baby is deformed and that might bother him.

NenaB54 · August 2015

I'm sorry but I would not apologize !!!! You are pregnant and hormonal for one - and second it's a picture of your baby and whether he is having issues facing the fact that he is going to be a dad he is being extremely insensitive !!! A huge part of this is being able to see the baby and share those ultrasound pics. Maybe you should have a talk with him about what's going on in his head. Because I'm sorry I don't get how he could behave this way.

ChrissyD1203 · August 2015

Thank you. I know you are all right. I should just go say I overreacted. I think the 3D pics are weird too but not of my baby. If my baby came out with 1 eye and it's nose on it's forehead I would still think it was perfect, and I guess I would expect him (not others) to feel the same. I know nothing about being a parent, but I thought that was part of the package.

maddisonwallace · August 2015

That doesn't mean that he wouldn't feel the same way! It just means he's not able to process your animated photo. NOT the baby and how obviously gorgeous and perfectly he/she will be and already is.

QueenCarlissa · August 2015

I get the part where some people (not just men) think it's freaky looking at an u/s pic. It's just simply not everyone's cup of tea. Should you apologize of course not. As far as crying you were upset and you do have a lot more hormones going through your body right now so no you will not be able to control them all. He has it easy some people cry about anything even spilled milk literally. But for him to say "that's not a picture you frame" that wouldve sent me over the edge as well because it's your baby the baby's first picture technically and you can save your memories anyway you want. I want to frame mine as well. And he was a bit childish and insensitive for saying that so a apology is deff supposed to be coming from him. Cheer up mama I know it's harder on women when the father isn't as in to it as the moms some just don't get it.

mamakculb · August 2015

Sorry momma, I know it's hard when hubby doesn't seem quite as into it as you and then makes a rude comment. Took mine forever to quit giving stupid name suggestions and be serious for once. You are definitely touchy and hormonal as we all are right now, but I really agree with maddisonwallace that for peace of mind, it's probably best to let it go and let him come around in his time. It's just different for dads, they're nervous, anxious and excited but don't have crazy hormones to cover it all up with. Hugs!

jrouge12 · August 2015

Don't like your husband's response but those 3D pics are scary! I don't get framing ultrasound pictures either or making copies to hand out to people. They're cool, but you're going to have much cuter pictures to frame in a few months.

Licey89 · August 2015

I bought a book for my husband "the expectant dads survival guide" & I really think it's helped to give him an appreciation of what I'm going through. Before we conceived, I knew there would be no way he would take "I'm just feeling quite hormonal" as a reasonable explanation (even though it's legit in pregnancy), but this book has really had a positive influence on how he 'handles' me when I'm being a bit irrational about things (mostly unnecessary worry). I also knew he wouldn't take "well this book I'm reading says so" as an answer, so making HIM swot up just seemed to make sense! I would definitely recommend, it helps to get you both on the same page x

kaym6 · August 2015

I don't really consider crying as a response to a comment like that about your baby's picture being overly hormonal. I would have been upset as well. I certainly would not be apologizing however maybe you could sit down with him and explain how that comment made you feel including how you feel about the picture that way maybe he will understand why it made you so upset!

willashbaby · August 2015

OK the hysterical crying is probably a hormone induced overreaction, however, he should understand this since YOUR'E PREGNANT. Can't get mad at a pregnant lady for crying. That said, if my husband reacted the way yours did I would have probably said, "Oh well, it's our baby and I love it, I'm putting it on the shelf", and that would have been it

ETA: All of my baby's US pics are proudly displayed in the kitchen across from the fridge right above the wall mounted bottle opener, they are in a place of pride! We also framed the 8ish week "gummy bear" pic and it's currently in the baby's room (in the frame that my Godmother made for my baby pic).

Snoopylovesbelle · August 2015

"Waiting for his apology" is what would burn me. Don't apologize he is acting like an insensitive jerk

NenaB54 · August 2015

Yes @snoopylovesbelle!!!

MommaB16 · August 2015

If it was my fight I would never apologize. I'm not gonna apologize for how I feel or the mix of how I feel with a sprinkle of hormones...
Honestly I feel like your husband is being mean and immature and he's the one not acting like an adult. I would say he seems a little distant from the baby, but my husband doesn't do much with my belly either except look at it with really big eyes (because it just keeps getting bigger lol) but once or twice a week my stomach will get a kiss without asking, so I just cherish those moments.
All in all, I wouldn't apologize and I'd explain over and over than I need more emotional and physical support during your pregnancy. That's what I would do.

ntyravgsp · August 2015

I'm sorry that happened, especially over something you were so excited about.
I'm in the "ultrasound photos look weird" camp and I personally wouldn't frame one but I think it was hurtful of him to say what he did, especially since you were obviously ecstatic about it.
I'm not going to make any comments on the apologies part because your guys' relationship is yours, other than it sounds like there was miscommunication on both sides.

I hope you're able to talk it over calmly and especially that he is able to understand your point of view. Sounds like he is unsympathetic and that is hard to get through sometimes. Hugs, and good luck.

jezzebelhenry · August 2015

How old is ur husband, I don't mean to rude but really grow up

Mamabeagle · August 2015

I don't know why this was even an argument tbh...

bjordanesq · August 2015

I told my husband I thought our baby looked like an alien lol which it does in those early ultrasounds...he didn't like that.

My husband has said insensitive comments to me and he usually comes around after awhile and apologizes. I'd give it a day or two, do your own thing for a little bit and ignore him and act like you're happy and they come around. Men are like children and pets!

Blueyedsky · August 2015

I think both of you probably overreacted with this one. Have you explained to him how his reaction made you feel? And maybe apologize for your reaction (even though it was probably hormones)? Honestly, I don't want a 3d u/s because they all look really scary until the baby is almost full term. I'd rather pretend my baby is cute in there until I have him or her

kodariah · August 2015

I'm sorry

I would try to sit him down and tell him that this is something that your excited about and even though he might not be that he needs to be there for you right now, even through the emotions and the things he doesn't understand.

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