Insight from those who have struggled with Infertility

ChosenByLove · August 2015

I'm cautiously hopeful with this surprise (!) pregnancy after years of infertility.

But I'm also torn because my best friend just finished up a failed round of IVF. How do I go about telling her?

If you've struggled with infertility, please chime in with the best way someone could've shared the news with you. I want to be sensitive to her heart but also want her to be one of the first to know because she is so important to me.

Brandi81012 · August 2015

I haven't struggled with infertility but this has been discussed before. I think most people chose to tell there friend separately by themselves and gave them time to take it in. Lots of people also shared that they shared the news with the friend through message or text to give them time.

Poppy16 · August 2015

After going through 6 years of infertility (and having what seemed like a ton of friends constantly having babies) I have a lot of experience with this. I would tell her in the form of communication that is most comfortable for HER. Some friends thought that telling me in person was a good idea, but that was the worst because I had to process it right there in front of them, and feel like I had to act happy for them. I most appreciated a text or email, so I could have time to process. Then I would call them and say my congrats.

Thank you for being so thoughtful to your friend!

myparkers7 · August 2015

I agree with not saying it in person. When I was going through infertility all my friends were having babies. Although my heart was thrilled for them I still needed to process my situation on my own terms. That for me was a private phone call. Vise Versa years later my sister is struggling to conceive and I had to tell her we were expecting our fifth. It was one of toughest phone calls ever, but she was completely understanding and gave us her blessing. The key is sensitivity. Don't hide your milestones, but reserve yourself a bit more when it comes to her.

jdey22 · August 2015

I had been dealing with infertility and both my sister and sister in law became pregnant while I was still going through treatments being unsuccessful. My sister and I talked privately and she told me that she knew mine was coming and that she would not go baby crazy and not talk with me about it unless I wanted to. She made me feel really comfortable with it. On the other hand I got a phone call from my sister and brother in law and they were just gloating about it. And while I was so happy for them it hurt me so much more. We also has everyone at our house for a bbq and my sister didn't mention being pregnant once whole that was all my sister in law could talk about. I would day

Steelerfan78 · August 2015

I too am trying to decide a way to tell my close friend who is soon to go through IVF. I was wanting to wait until after her procedure, but I don't want to keep it from her and then add unnecessary stress later. I think it sounds more appropriate to send an email or text. That way she has time to process it and doesn't have to feel put on the spot.

runningwild · August 2015

I don't have any advice. But wanted to say I appreciate the answers given by others, as I am in almost the same situation right now too. It's very tough.

terime · August 2015

The fact that you're even sensitive to this is so huge. Hope the conversations go well.

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