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Not following the routine

NPReed10NPReed10 member
in May 2015 Moms
I went back to work this week, only 2 days a week. Dad watches LO those 2 days. I left a detailed routine we had established during the 12 weeks I was on maternity leave. And yet, my SO can't seem to figure out how important sticking to that routine is! She skipped her morning nap & he didn't get her to take much from a bottle. So by noon he had a VERY fussy baby and the afternoon continued to go poorly.

How can I get it through to him that he needs to REALLY REALLY try to stick to her schedule?! When I'm home with her she's such an easy baby because I stick to the routine. She doesn't cry on days I have her because we stick to her routine so her needs are met before she gets tired & cranky! Anyone else have issues with others not sticking to LOs routine? Suggestions on fixing this issue?
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Re: Not following the routine

  • blairdavis99blairdavis99 member
    DH and I are both routine-followers to a fault but my experience with him related to specific techniques caring for our LOs is that he will do things his own way. Even if I assure him there is a better way (that I know because I spend all day with them). But then his way doesn't work and eventually he starts to do it my way lol. Just in his own time and usually he thinks the change is "his new idea." So maybe let things run their course a bit? Perhaps after several days of fussy baby he will be ready to try it your way?
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  • lola2beelola2bee member
    I had a lot of trouble with my DH until a counselor told me to "let him find his way". I just had to let him learn the hard way or even find better ways of doing things but just let him do his thing. It worked for us. Just thought I'd share.
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  • nursej519nursej519 member
    If you tell him exactly how he has to do somehing, he won't do it. That's how men (and stubborn women, such as myself) are. Let him find his own way. It doesn't make him a bad parent to want to do things differently and by doing things his own way, it gives him a sense of accomplishment and feeling of contribution.
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  • nursej519nursej519 member
    And who knows, he may find something that works even better.
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  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
    My husband is watching LO for a month until we put him in daycare. It also frustrates me that things aren't done how I did them and I hadn't even been able to establish a good routine. I keep getting texts from him during the day saying how he can't get LO down for a nap (ALL day!). LO used to nap a couple hours for me in the morning and afternoon. Now he's so cranky when I get home. I'm worried about daycare mixing things up too. I do like PPs posts about letting him find his way though, especially if this is going to be a long term care schedule.
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  • cassietegtmeiercassietegtmeier member
    Eventually he will get sick of a fussy baby and follow the routine or figure his own out.
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  • Buckles0528Buckles0528 member
    You seriously wrote down your entire day? Who has time for that!? Relax. Its his baby too. He'll figure it out. Throw that written routine out. Its like nagging him while you're not even home.
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  • Mari621Mari621 member
    My husband has the kids Tuesday and Thursday nights from 630 to bedtime. Then all day on Saturday alone. We both have different styles but roughly keep the same schedule. Perhaps you can learn a trick or two from him also. Like anything pick and choose your battles. Your DH has to find out what works for him. It will just take a learning curve just it did for you
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • jessanne27jessanne27 member
    It could also be baby protesting a little bit to a change in who is there for the full day! I find that I need to remind myself that my husband needs to find his own way. I definitely suggest pointers and explain why something might work for me, but I try not to be demanding about how he approaches care unless it's a safety issue! I want him to feel confident in fatherhood, not like I am watching his every move and analyzing it (even though I secretly am
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  • ditzy007ditzy007 member
    A routine, what's that?
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  • danibonellodanibonello member
    I try to put myself in his shoes. If he spent 24/7 with LO, I would already be feeling a bit like an outsider. Then on top of that, to have him constantly tell me that I'm not doing things "right"... I'd want to just stop even trying.

    It's hard for me to let him do things his own way. If it doesn't work, he'll usually say "I don't know what to do". That's my cue to give some advice. It's been a learning curve for sure.
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