Worst unsolicited baby advice you've received?

emmacake08 · August 2015

Hey there new and not-so-new mamas! Now that most of us are mommies, I was wondering if any of you have funny or even WTF worthy stories of worthless baby advice. After all, everyone's an expert at baby care suddenly when yours is crying... right??;)

hcook321 · August 2015

I think this is more old school vs new school but it's funny. Taking my breastfeeding class, which the instructor said "you'll hear your older generation tell you that you need to rough up and toughen up your nipples. It's not necessary and breastfeeding shouldn't hurt so much that you need to toughen them up." Literally the next day, DH and I are at a friend's party with their family and the friend's mom told me I needed to start roughing up and rubbing up my nips haha, just ironic.

emmacake08 · August 2015

Yes I got the old school advice of "don't spoil your baby" when mine were month old preemies ~X(

bpwife&mama · August 2015

Let my newborn CIO. So along the same lines of not spoiling the baby.

carleym93 · August 2015

I HATE THAT ONE. My grandma told me to "put her on a schedule" at 2 weeks old. Yeah... no.

ChristyM87 · August 2015

My MIL told me when my LO was 5 days old that I should keep him awake all day and not let him nap to ensure he sleeps through the night. She also told me to add rice cereal to his breast milk to help him sleep

lap018 · August 2015

Not a mommy yet (any time now little man!!) but my husbands stepdad told me to lay baby to sleep on his stomach with towels rolled up under the crib sheet and his face because that's what his sons pediatrician told them to do (which btw his son has the absolute worst GERD issues you have ever seen) :-O I was like what the what?? You are never watching my child now.....

KateDerek · August 2015

Don't hold the baby too much, they get sore.

emmacake08 · August 2015

KateDerek said:
Don't hold the baby too much, they get sore.

I've gotten that one too! Makes zero sense!

tfdotgov · August 2015

I am such a private person, so when people ask me or start talking about things I feel uncomfortale with (especially private things), I start to sweat and get anxiety... if someone told me to toughen up my nipples, I would die inside!! When we told DH coworker we are having a girl, he said "Oh.. you guys were making love, next time.. if you want a boy, you need to have fucked up sex." I immediately felt my body fighting my fight or flight reflex... sweating.. shaking.. screaming inside. Who says things like that? Keep your weird comments and ideas to your self!! And then I got trapped into thoughts of what his idea of "fucked up sex" was... I couldn't look at him the rest of the night, and we haven't gone over to his house since, and I heard through the grape vine, that he thinks im mad at him and doesnt know why... gee....

toccoaparker · August 2015

tfdotgov said:
I am such a private person, so when people ask me or start talking about things I feel uncomfortale with (especially private things), I start to sweat and get anxiety... if someone told me to toughen up my nipples, I would die inside!! When we told DH coworker we are having a girl, he said "Oh.. you guys were making love, next time.. if you want a boy, you need to have fucked up sex." I immediately felt my body fighting my fight or flight reflex... sweating.. shaking.. screaming inside. Who says things like that? Keep your weird comments and ideas to your self!! And then I got trapped into thoughts of what his idea of "fucked up sex" was... I couldn't look at him the rest of the night, and we haven't gone over to his house since, and I heard through the grape vine, that he thinks im mad at him and doesnt know why... gee....

Ha this made me lol, fucked up sex haha...

jessandandy09 · August 2015

toccoaparker said:

I am such a private person, so when people ask me or start talking about things I feel uncomfortale with (especially private things), I start to sweat and get anxiety... if someone told me to toughen up my nipples, I would die inside!! When we told DH coworker we are having a girl, he said "Oh.. you guys were making love, next time.. if you want a boy, you need to have fucked up sex." I immediately felt my body fighting my fight or flight reflex... sweating.. shaking.. screaming inside. Who says things like that? Keep your weird comments and ideas to your self!! And then I got trapped into thoughts of what his idea of "fucked up sex" was... I couldn't look at him the rest of the night, and we haven't gone over to his house since, and I heard through the grape vine, that he thinks im mad at him and doesnt know why... gee....
Ha this made me lol, fucked up sex haha...

I laughed out loud at work too!

j&gmiller2015 · August 2015

Well to be honest any advise is unsolicited at this point...I'm a FTM and yes I don't know what I'm doing, I know I won't get any sleep for a while, and I know breastfeeding is demanding. I'll figure it out on my own, every baby is different and what worked for your baby might not work for mine. I know most people have the best of intentions, but shit, I did this on purpose and I'm aware of what I am getting myself into. And figuring it out is part of the fun, my husband and I look forward to the unexpected parts of raising a child.

AshleyM0125 · August 2015

My MIL told me to give DD water... when she was less than a month old. Um, no. Needless to say, I was super nervous having her watch DD the first time (and really, I still am- she's a lunatic). And sure enough, when DD was about 6 weeks old, MIL kept her for a few hours on a Saturday and gave her a bottle of water after I'd told her 500000000000 times not to. I flipped. She said, I thought she might be thirsty. SHE'S ON AN ALL LIQUID DIET AND IT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING THAT EVERY DOCTOR AND LACTATION CONSULTANT SAID. And you went against every instruction that I gave you. It was MONTHS before she was allowed to watch DD again. A few months ago, there was a local news article about a baby that actually died because the parents kept giving it watered down formula. It was so tragic and I made sure to show it to MIL. I think LO will be several months old before she's allowed to watch him.

People just don't think.

jesselayne8 · August 2015

My resting bitch face must have been strong this pregnancy. No one asked questions or have advice. My first pregnancy I must have been walking on air glowing because everyone stopped and asked me questions/gave advice.

LEGALLYblonde86 · August 2015

Any thing MIL has ever said I smile and nod then forget it. She asked me if I knew how to breastfeed. Im a STM, who successfully breastfed Dd, yes, I think I have a handle on this thing. This coming from the woman who didnt BF, used the CIO method and had 4 out of 4 children with whooping cough.

taylorharber1108 · August 2015

I love when people say I am spoiling my 11 day old baby too much because I choose to hold him and comfort him why he cries. MIL thinks he should cry it out, um NO!

GirlOnTheBeach · August 2015

I keep getting "helpful" suggestions from DH's family. My MIL asks DH every time she talks to him if we are giving LO water (she's been asking since he was only like 2 days old) and keeps trying to convince DH that the baby needs water. His aunt told him I'm not supposed to breast feed the baby because you're not "allowed" to after a c-section. The same aunt thinks it's just awful that LO eats every 2-3 hours and said its because I need to give him formula. That will make him sleep longer and my doctors will be telling me soon that I need to switch to formula. Um no. I already have an over supply of breast milk, why on earth would I go buy formula?! Crazy.

LEGALLYblonde86 · August 2015

@taylorharber1108 LOL. I heard that a lot too. Funny thing is now DD is 6 and an extremely independant child. It's because I showed her at a young age that I would always be there for her when she needed me. She still comes to me when she needs me, but she isnt like clung to my side at every minute if the day. Fact is, she is also more mature, and rends to be more well behaved than other children her age. But yeah, me holding her turned her into such a brat.
Spoiled kids happen when your time and attention get replaced by material things

pabeybaby · August 2015

j&gmiller2015 said:
Well to be honest any advise is unsolicited at this point...I'm a FTM and yes I don't know what I'm doing, I know I won't get any sleep for a while, and I know breastfeeding is demanding. I'll figure it out on my own, every baby is different and what worked for your baby might not work for mine. I know most people have the best of intentions, but shit, I did this on purpose and I'm aware of what I am getting myself into. And figuring it out is part of the fun, my husband and I look forward to the unexpected parts of raising a child.

THIS.

toccoaparker · August 2015

"Babies sleep better on their stomachs"
...um no, hell no.

Miz_Liz · August 2015

During this hospital stay on our 2nd night (3rd nurse shift) the nurse comes in for the first time and is asking if we need anything, introducing herself, etc. then proceeds to tell me she put in a request to have the LC come see me and asks to watch me try to BF our DD. First, who said I was having problems BF'ing (in fact, she was BF'ing like a champ and we were not having any issues!), then she watches and goes, "Oh wow, great job!!" I wanted to say, "Um yeah, I told you I have a 3 year old at home...this is not the first time I did this." Needless to say the LC never showed up.

kelseyrayay · August 2015

My child has really sharp nails. I trimmed them fixed them up yet they are still a little sharp. He loves pulling at his face and has hurt himself doing it because of his nails. So I put the mittens on him so he doesn't hurt himself worse then he already did. So my sister took a picture of him (he was wearing the mittens) and this random guy says take this off so he can touch and feel everything. Ok first of all who the hell are you? Secondly do you know my child? Have you ever seen him? Is it any of your damn business how I parent???? Hell no it isn't! So shut up! (Insert middle finger here)

cosplaymom · August 2015

Worst advice I have heard? "Don't give baby any formula if you want to breastfeed". Turns out giving formula after nursing on day 3 or 4 (when baby is starving and underweight because your milk hasn't come in yet) is a really good idea.

So far neither of my babies have suffered from supplementation and my second breezed through her first week and the doctor was really happy about her weight gain since leaving the hospital on her first pediatrician visit.

archetypeblonde · August 2015

An employee at Trader Joe's told me to handle the pain of birth by imagining how much more pain Jesus suffered on the cross. :-?? I'm not religious but I went with it hoping she'd drop it. I had to sit there and let her talk about how she uses this method of imagining Jesus on the cross to help her get through visits to the dentist. TO THE DENTIST.

pabeybaby · August 2015

archetypeblonde said:
An employee at Trader Joe's told me to handle the pain of birth by imagining how much more pain Jesus suffered on the cross. :-?? I'm not religious but I went with it hoping she'd drop it. I had to sit there and let her talk about how she uses this method of imagining Jesus on the cross to help her get through visits to the dentist. TO THE DENTIST.

These types of people freak me out! I'm not really religious either. I was at the dollar store once getting some meds for a headache and this guy wanted to pray for me right there in the middle of the store. Go away, don't talk to me. He did the same thing to just about every person in the store. Some people think it's nice, I think it's creepy.

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