Opinions please.... Do's and Dont's Baby shower

mglopez1992 · August 2015

Hi, well to start of I'm expecting my 3rd baby and will be the last as I will have permanent surgery once baby is born. I have never had a baby shower and I would like one as a memory not much because of gifts... My mom doesn't have time to plan because she works a lot but she has asked me if I would want to do something at her house. I don't know how baby showers work or if it's correct to do one this way. Please enlighten me with your opinions and/or advice, thank you.

P.S. I am Hispanic so any kind of gathering will include children, women and men.

fwtx5815 · August 2015

Baby showers are centered on giving gifts to the guest of honor, so it would be inappropriate to throw this kind of party for yourself. It would literally mean that you are asking people to buy you things.

You said this is more for making memories, so skip the "shower" title and just have a get together with your close family and friends. Because if you call it a shower, it implies that people should bring a gift. If you don't call it a shower, they may bring something for the baby, but it's also okay if they don't. There's no pressure to buy you stuff.

Additionally, showers are meant to welcome new parents into parenthood, and you already have kids so you're not a new parent this go round.

SO - throw a get together with food and drinks and don't call it a shower, everyone will have a good time if they're hosted properly, and you will make some great memories.

neverblushed · August 2015

Well, generally, you don't host a baby shower for yourself. There are 2 reasons to have a baby shower: to welcome first time moms to motherhood, and to "shower' the new mom with gifts that will help her care for the baby.

Even if it's not about the gifts for you, if you have a party and call it a shower, others will feel obligated to bring a gift. It just seems greedy to throw a party for yourself that is mainly about people bringing you gifts.

What you could do is take your mom up on her offer to have a gathering at her house, but make it a "meet the new baby" party and have it as soon after the baby's born as you feel comfortable being out and about. Don't mention gifts. Just have your friends and family over to celebrate with you. That can be a nice, meaningful way to celebrate your family being complete without seeming inappropriate.

You can still decorate with baby stuff and take lots of pictures for the record books. And the baby will be there! That's much better than a shower in your situation!

ecwk · August 2015

The two PPs read my mind. They've explained the etiquette about showers being for first time moms etc. I'd just like to reiterate that if it is memories that are important, have a party, decorate the venue, have fun but don't mention a registry or gifts!

mglopez1992 · August 2015

Thanks for the advice, as I said I don't know much about baby showers and I always see or here of others making baby showers for every baby they have and being the hosts. That's why I mentioned I'm Hispanic, maybe it goes by culture as well. I'm too busy in my own world that I don't really talk to anybody to actually know what's going on these days. Again thanks, I'll take your advice in consideration.

mglopez1992 · August 2015

First time writing here so sorry I don't know exactly how to reply to each individual.

I also wanted to add that the party idea would be nice and perfect the only problem is that my husband and I have never hosted a party we are young and have focused more on priorities and other things so we are not very sociable. As far as family, my husband doesn't talk to his family and their are a couple of my family members he does not get along with. It's a challenge to have get togethers at all. Regardless thanks, and I'll see what I can do. If there is a chance that I can host a family gathering without anybody being uncomfortable than I will.

VOR · August 2015

So, you all aren't social and your DH doesn't talk to his family and doesn't like some of your family. Who exactly would you be inviting to this party anyhow?? It being a "shower" (which others have covered anyhow) wouldn't make all these issue disappear. If GTGs are difficult, this one will be as equally difficult.

mglopez1992 · August 2015

As a shower my husband would not be assisting, it would be done on a weekend that he works. My family and close family friends would assists, which is a big amount of people. If it would have been a party he would have invited coworkers that he gets along with, one aunt that is the only family he speaks to, and my parents. No other relative of mine would be invited.

neverblushed · August 2015

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Given your social situation and your relationship to both families, I think you should think about who would be invited and if you really even want to do this. If it's going to be awkward and uncomfortable, don't bother. Or suggest to your mom that it just be a ladies luncheon with women on your side of the family.

Opinions please.... Do's and Dont's Baby shower

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