Need your helpful advice!

alexisnovey · August 2015

So, me and my SO have only been together 10 months.. I got pregnant 2 months later and am expecting a baby boy next month.. Needing some advice on how to deal with him continuing to live his old lifestyle and not seem to be fully focused on my last 5 weeks. He's always been able to go out, hangout with the guys (which I understand he wants Before the baby) and just be able to do whatever, whenever and however he wants. We argue every week over him going out at least 3-4 times... In a week!! Not spending time at home or helping me with the nursery. Everyone tells me it'll all end when the baby comes, but from the looks of his "slowing down" I don't think it will. I've been more than cooperative, but the last thing I want is to be calling my boyfriend at 1 am to come get me, while thinking I'm in labor and him be at the bar! Any advice? Thanks in advance!

Ps- first baby & I'm a young mom. Big age difference between us (19 & 28) Need all the help I can get! Thank you!

modanz1 · August 2015

You probably wont like my advice but here goes. Tell him to shape up or ship out. Any guy who is going out like that and not helping with getting ready for baby or showing any interest in it, is not very vested in you or your child. This may not be what he wants in life right now, but I bet it wasn't in your plans either. A real man will stand behind you and his child not be out getting drunk 4-5 nights a week while you sit at home. If he wasn't ready to make a lifestyle change then he shouldn't have had unprotected sex. Good luck and whatever you do, do not stay with someone who refuses to give you the respect you deserve.

HellsAngel22 · August 2015

I have to agree with @modanz1 on this.
I've been in your situation, and let me tell you it won't get better & things won't change once baby has arrived unless you talk to him.
You need to tell him to step up or step out the front door. It took the both of you to make this baby & the responsibility of raising him doesn't just fall on you.
There can be a happy ending as I'm still with my SO, after everything that we went through. But communication is the key to this scenario otherwise things will not change.

cMichelle0423 · August 2015

modanz1 said:
You probably wont like my advice but here goes. Tell him to shape up or ship out. Any guy who is going out like that and not helping with getting ready for baby or showing any interest in it, is not very vested in you or your child. This may not be what he wants in life right now, but I bet it wasn't in your plans either. A real man will stand behind you and his child not be out getting drunk 4-5 nights a week while you sit at home. If he wasn't ready to make a lifestyle change then he shouldn't have had unprotected sex. Good luck and whatever you do, do not stay with someone who refuses to give you the respect you deserve.

Definitely this. And if for any reason things are still iffy when you go into labor, I highly suggest having someone else drive you to the hospital when you're in labor so you don't have to risk him drinking and driving with you in the car.

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