8/13 In Laws/Family Vent

lola2bee · August 2015

Go!

Kae42 · August 2015

Just a quick vent about my mom; she's been very helpful and supportive, but every time I'm with her she runs through so many of her own baby stories. It's exhausting. I've heard them all before many times and they aren't usually pertinent to what is going on, it's just whatever popped in her head. Like I'll be sitting quietly breastfeeding and she'll launch into the stories of her taking my brother to the beach in the snugli. I've heard that story twice a week since giving birth (like most of her stories) and many many times before that.
I kind of just want to enjoy the present moment but I don't know how to tell her without making her offended. She is extremely sensitive. So I just vent when I can lol

DMEL · August 2015

My SIL posts pictures of my baby all over social media. Funny thing is she hasn't seen him in a month and all the pictures she's posting are ones I sent to her in a weekly blast to family members in an attempt to keep my child off social media.

SmrBrd2012 · August 2015

Kae42 said:

Just a quick vent about my mom; she's been very helpful and supportive, but every time I'm with her she runs through so many of her own baby stories. It's exhausting. I've heard them all before many times and they aren't usually pertinent to what is going on, it's just whatever popped in her head. Like I'll be sitting quietly breastfeeding and she'll launch into the stories of her taking my brother to the beach in the snugli. I've heard that story twice a week since giving birth (like most of her stories) and many many times before that. I kind of just want to enjoy the present moment but I don't know how to tell her without making her offended. She is extremely sensitive. So I just vent when I can lol

My mom always talks about how she used to use the snugli with my brother too and how it was better than anything they have now. That's funny. Also I took her to this working farm/wildlife sanctuary for her birthday recently (she's a child at heart...I brought DS but it was way more exciting for her, LOL) and the entire time she was trying to remember the last time she went and that it was when I was this age and it was with this cousin before her brother got sick, etc....So I totally understand the wanting to live "in the now." She always dwells in the past which is really frustrating because she's a pessimist. I'm just like can you focus on spending this NEW experience with your grandson!! Geez.

justkeeptrying · August 2015

I just found out that my godmother is mad because she hasn't met DS yet. She lives 2.5 hours away. She has come into the city several times since he was born and has not attempted to call me to come over and see him. She spoke with my grandma the other day and commented that I should come out there to see her. Why on earth would I drive 2.5 hours with my 3 month old to come see you when you've made ZERO effort to come see us?!?!

I hate when people go to other people to complain instead of just talking directly to me. This has happened on so many occasions since DS was born. Do people not know that I own a phone?!?! Call me and ask if you can come over. I'll say yes. Problem solved!!!

lilsunflowermomma · August 2015

My little sister has only seen my DS once and that was in the hospital when he was born. She's a struggling/entitled early twenties brat. She tells my parents it's my fault she hasn't seen him. Drives me crazy. I don't even react anymore. I'm too busy taking care of my baby than to ride the roller coaster of emotions with my sister. I'm hoping she grows up soon.

Poison&Wine · August 2015

Ok. I have no idea what to do in this situation. Just a little background: My husband was raised by his mom, his aunt, and his grandma. His aunt has always considered herself his second mom. She is just as involved with everything he does as his own mother is. She's a sweetie. Anyway, now that we have had our first baby, and we are both back to work, my mom watches him all week except Wednesdays because that's when DH's mom is off work and she can watch him. Lately, DH's aunt has been suggesting that she get him every other Friday. My mom's sisters don't even do that. They just come see him when he's at my mom's house or keep him for an hour or so if mom has an errand to run since they live next to her. I understand she wants to keep the baby, but I don't want him passed around between three different houses every other week. Plus, my mom is getting really upset because she expects to keep him every day but Wednesdays and weekends. This is her grandbaby, not DH's aunt's. So I get why she is upset, but I don't know how to tell his aunt that maybe once a month she can keep him instead of every other Friday. I love her to death, but she already feels entitled enough when it comes to DH, and I don't want her starting that with my baby. Am I being crazy? What do I do?!

CanadaMom17 · August 2015

Poison&Wine said:

Ok. I have no idea what to do in this situation. Just a little background: My husband was raised by his mom, his aunt, and his grandma. His aunt has always considered herself his second mom. She is just as involved with everything he does as his own mother is. She's a sweetie. Anyway, now that we have had our first baby, and we are both back to work, my mom watches him all week except Wednesdays because that's when DH's mom is off work and she can watch him. Lately, DH's aunt has been suggesting that she get him every other Friday. My mom's sisters don't even do that. They just come see him when he's at my mom's house or keep him for an hour or so if mom has an errand to run since they live next to her. I understand she wants to keep the baby, but I don't want him passed around between three different houses every other week. Plus, my mom is getting really upset because she expects to keep him every day but Wednesdays and weekends. This is her grandbaby, not DH's aunt's. So I get why she is upset, but I don't know how to tell his aunt that maybe once a month she can keep him instead of every other Friday. I love her to death, but she already feels entitled enough when it comes to DH, and I don't want her starting that with my baby. Am I being crazy? What do I do?!

Could you suggest that this can be a possibility once he's older (like, a toddler) and has a better idea of what's going on? I'd be honest, and just say you think it's too much for a little baby to go to too many places at that age.

Knottie76365376 · August 2015

I agree with Canadamom17. Baby's do best with just a few main caretakers. Just say you're sorry but you don't feel comfortable spreading him out so much. Totally reasonable! This is coming from me- no one else has watched my LO except for me and DH. There will be plenty of time for her to watch him later and you will totally appreciate the help. In the meantime I'd give her an open invite to drop by and visit if you don't mind.

Poison&Wine · August 2015

Thanks ladies!

Curlygirl84 · August 2015

My father in law suggested today that my LO is demanding because every time she fusses I meet her needs. "Let her cry, it's good for her. "

She's 3 months old! She's not manipulating me! Meeting her needs is my job

bethanylga · August 2015

@Curlygirl84 God, my mum says this ALL the time, not so much about me, but other people who "pick their babies up as soon as they start crying...they're getting spoilt." Ummmm, no.

lola2bee · August 2015

Poison&Wine said:
Ok. I have no idea what to do in this situation. Just a little background: My husband was raised by his mom, his aunt, and his grandma. His aunt has always considered herself his second mom. She is just as involved with everything he does as his own mother is. She's a sweetie. Anyway, now that we have had our first baby, and we are both back to work, my mom watches him all week except Wednesdays because that's when DH's mom is off work and she can watch him. Lately, DH's aunt has been suggesting that she get him every other Friday. My mom's sisters don't even do that. They just come see him when he's at my mom's house or keep him for an hour or so if mom has an errand to run since they live next to her. I understand she wants to keep the baby, but I don't want him passed around between three different houses every other week. Plus, my mom is getting really upset because she expects to keep him every day but Wednesdays and weekends. This is her grandbaby, not DH's aunt's. So I get why she is upset, but I don't know how to tell his aunt that maybe once a month she can keep him instead of every other Friday. I love her to death, but she already feels entitled enough when it comes to DH, and I don't want her starting that with my baby. Am I being crazy? What do I do?!

I'm an aunt that is really close to my niece like a second mom and I know when she has kids i will definitely want something to DO because I will so much want to help. Not take over but help in some way. Just another side of the coin.

Ryder0406 · August 2015

Just was scrolling through my news feed on facebook and all of a sudden I am flooded by pictures of DD! Apparently my MIL thinks it's ok to share pictures of 'her baby' even though DH and I have since day one (actually even since before DD was born) said NO pictures on facebook! If we want to put up pictures we, THE PARENTS, will! And she wonders why she's not asked to babysit?? If you can't stick to a request as simple as keep my kid off fb, you're obviously not going to listen to anything I say!

DMEL · August 2015

Ryder0406 said:
Just was scrolling through my news feed on facebook and all of a sudden I am flooded by pictures of DD! Apparently my MIL thinks it's ok to share pictures of 'her baby' even though DH and I have since day one (actually even since before DD was born) said NO pictures on facebook! If we want to put up pictures we, THE PARENTS, will! And she wonders why she's not asked to babysit?? If you can't stick to a request as simple as keep my kid off fb, you're obviously not going to listen to anything I say!

We have the same policy. The Internet can be a creepy place and it should be YOUR decision whether or not your baby is on it

erin79 · August 2015

bethanylga said:

@Curlygirl84 God, my mum says this ALL the time, not so much about me, but other people who "pick their babies up as soon as they start crying...they're getting spoilt." Ummmm, no.

That's my mom, too! She always says, "You can let her cry, it's not bothering me." I'm not trying to soothe her because it's bothering YOU, I'm soothing her because she's crying. She's either hungry or tired, so I'll feed her or put her down for a nap. NBD. Why let her cry if I can fix it?

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