Feeling left out by friends..

jones76227 · August 2015

Suggestions?

jordans_wife · August 2015

I hear you! I felt so hurt and angry at 1st when I started noticing this. I think it really helps to try and stay busy with things. My friends starting making plans with me again but this is where you see who your true friends are also. Summer's hard though I think bc there are so many things that involve drinking. Also, I totally understand skipping the concert. Some things are best done without being sober...:)

ChiccoBeanz · August 2015

Maybe you think of something that you'd like to do and then invite them? Like brunch or something?

celainev · August 2015

I agree with @ChiccoBeanz ... Why not you plan a get together?

MyCousinVinny · August 2015

I would have gone to the concert! Might as well enjoy outings as much as possible before your baby arrives

I also agree that you could always try getting them to hang out.

jones76227 · August 2015

I forgot to mention I had invited them to do things and they've always had other plans. So I arranged a game night tomorrow for all of us at my house with spouses as well. Wish me good luck!

I hate feeling like this and being sooo emotional all the time bc it's not me! And I'm torn with saying anything at all. I hate to be that needy friend... But in the other hand no one can attempt to right a wrong if they don't know you're upset.

irsikb · August 2015

I'm not one to support the "she's just pregnant and hormonal" outlook, but I was an emotional mess until I was 20ish weeks. I took everything so personal and was so quick to get snappy, especially with my friends. I was always the "party planner" of the group and getting pregnant caused some change in group dynamics.

I picked one girl from my core to talk to who I am especially close with, and she sort of helped me spread the word to the rest of the girls about how I was feeling. I was lucky that they have all been pregnant before so sort of knew where I was coming from.

Sometimes I just had to count to 10 and brush it off, it's summer and people get busy. I will admit though that my core got a bit smaller since getting pregnant.

I hope you guys can all get back on the same page.

queenwog · August 2015

Sounds like you need to either a) take the initiative, or b) cut your losses.

alisoninda · August 2015

I feel that way sometimes as well. However, I've started to realize that I want to do different things than many of my friends now. Most of them are childless, and it's non stop party. I enjoy going out to dinner and conversation over crowded bars and late nights.
Last month, I really regretted inviting a friend (and her boyfriend) to the beach with my husband and I. She got completely hammered all three nights (passed out two) we were there. I certainly didn't expect her to be sober sll weekend, but it kinda was disappointing. I was hoping we could all be adults and just enjoy each others company.
I'm trying to work up the courage to join some prenatal meet-ups and join prenatal yoga to meet some other new moms. Life is changing!

cMichelle0423 · August 2015

Honestly I feel like losing friends or "drifting apart" from friends just comes with the territory. I think everyone or most women go through this when they start having kids. Personally I see it as now I know who my true friends are. It never really bothered me either, because most of the friends I lost were just not in the same place as far as our lives go. Once I met my husband, and we knew things were serious, I knew I was ready to settle down and to me, that meant not going out partying, clubbing, and drinking all the time. I got pregnant with my first LO when I was 21. So at that time a lot of my friends weren't worried about anything other than what most 20-35 year olds do. I accepted that my life was going down a different path than theirs and that was okay. The friends I do still keep in touch with are awesome whether they have kids or not. And those friendships mean more to me than all the ones I "lost" combined.

jodisgardner · August 2015

I noticed this too a few weeks into my pregnancy. It's hurtful and frustrating. I have to say that it does, if anything, prove the type of friends you will want in your life when baby comes. The type of friends to ditch you during pregnancy are most likely the type of friends who won't be there when baby comes. I've realized the friends that did it in my life don't want kids, kids freak them out, idea of being pregnant is weird to them, etc. maybe these friends will come around, maybe they won't... But I wouldn't let it bother you too much or baby will feel the energy. I would take it as something constructive. @jordans_wife

Hullabaloo2016 · August 2015

Lurker from 1st Trimester.... I have to say, I'm the opposite. All of a sudden all of my mommy friends want to hang out! But then again, I'm older and I'm one of the last friends I know to have a baby. It seems like now all of a sudden I'm in the "Popular" group again because I'm expecting, I guess they feel like they can relate to me better now because I'm about to be one of them?

PrimRoseMama · August 2015

Why not just go to the concert? You are pregnant, not disabled.

jenbstevens · August 2015

I think it's possible that your friends think you're the one who doesn't want to hang out with them. They may assume that your interests have changed and care more about staying home than hanging out, especially since you turned down the tickets. You should definitely invite them to do something and see how they respond. Also, be honest with them. If they're really your friends you should be able to say "Hey, I miss you guys!"

groovylocks · August 2015

My best friend has not really talked to me much since I announced it. I'm a little annoyed but not surprised. I love my friend but he's a little attention seeking and this is probably not easy for him. I'm hoping things go back to normal.

haylierm · August 2015

I actually posted about this same thing in my birth month board. It really is disappointing and hurtful how people can just drop you. I've tried to be the one to keep in touch and take the initiative and I've just given up. People downright ignore my texts, break plans without acknowledging, or give some flimsy excuse that sounds pretty made up. I realize its somewhat common when people's lives go in different directions but I thought I at least had until the baby got here to get ditched. And honestly people saying things like now you know who your true friends are and stuff just make me feel worse. Like, ok... So no one? Lol I've been living a lie all these years apparently and no one really liked me I guess. Because literally every single person I know has completely dropped me. Sorry you're going thru it too. Sucks that people can be so crappy

BerriedBliss · August 2015

MyCousinVinny said:
I would have gone to the concert! Might as well enjoy outings as much as possible before your baby arrives

I also agree that you could always try getting them to hang out.

This! I wouldn't have turned down Jimmy Buffet!!! His concerts are so fun!

Most of our friends have kids now so we host a lot of family game nights. But before that, I was one of the first of us pregnant. I didn't want to miss out on fun or yummy dinners so I strapped on my heels and went!

Let them know you want to be included!

cqueezy · August 2015

I totally feel you. I've felt incredibly left out this summer. I'm 23 years old and of course my friends are young as well and partying like crazy. Doesn't help that my brother is actually friends with my friends so it's drives me crazy watching them all party together (thank you snap chat) Obviously there's something a lot cooler going on with me than getting wasted at the bar with my friends, but it's true, these are the moments when you realize who you're true friends are. I'm a little bummed none of my friends offered to go to the movies or just hang with me but I think it's my over emotional pregnant self that's not realizing everyone's got their own life going on right now. I know if I suggested a mellow hang out with my friends that they'd be there. Don't be afraid to make the plans!

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