Men!!

kirstyadams · August 2015

hi I'm a ftm of 2 and 26 weeks pregnant suffering with depression (on fluoxetine). I've had my suspicions about my partner and a lady from his work, his had a lock on his phone since June when I last looked and said I wasn't happy he was sending so many messages to this woman and spending time in the pub with her and friends. I looked on his phone in the week only to find myself facing messages from the end of June about how much he loves this woman and being without her is making him depressed. I know he still see's her at work and still drinks with her in a group. I'm just lost as to what to do

Soyyoyary · August 2015

Wow.So sorry your going thru this..Sweetheart this one is a hard one. You have to focus on you and LO, stress isnt good. Maybe try to have an adult conversation with your partner. Put everything on the table. Somehow find solution that's best for both of you

oliarnmom1517 · August 2015

I'm sorry your going through such a hard time.. Especially while you have struggled with depression this pregnancy.. I agree with PP that you have to set it all out in the open between the two of you and ask your partner what will be the best solution.. It's not your fault he's doing that.. Please try to understand that it's not your fault that any of this is happening.. Try to think of you and the little one and what is most for you and the baby (the way you put it in the first sentence it sounds like babies) just make sure you think of yourself first..

ashleywuli · August 2015

I am so sorry you're dealing with this, especially at such a sensitive time in our lives. I believe you need to sit down and have a real talk with him to figure out what you two are/want/need to do. You don't need this stress in your life now or ever. Good luck mama! I hope it all works out for you and your babies!

Motomama67 · August 2015

I am so sorry. This is a wonderful place to come for advice. I have a feeling your going to get the same answer from quite a few. Leave the jerk! Once you take the focus off of worrying about him and his bullshit you will find out this baby is the best thing that's ever going to happen to you. and you won't even worry nor care what he is doing. It's his loss, not yours. Are you close with your Family?

lakesideknitter · August 2015

Yikes, sending creepy internet hugs. Confront the loser and if he won't commit to you when it comes down to it, then you need to leave for your sake and your baby's sake.

BowWowBowie · August 2015

I'm so sorry. That is awful and you should NEVER have to go through that. Kick that ass clown to the curb!! No woman, especially you, the mother of his children, deserves to go through that. I know you're hurting now and leaving is going to hurt too, but after the grieving you can find solace and peace in yourself and your children, especially since you won't have to worry about what he's doing or where he is. You are strong, you are capable, you are beautiful and you are NOT the reason he's done this. I would reach out to family or close friends to see if you can have an escape as soon as possible. If you don't have that I know there are many resources for single mom's that will help you out with having a roof over your head and having food on the table. Wishing you all the best, please don't hesitate to message me if you need someone to talk to, no one needs to go through depression alone, or the stress you're going through.

thefithuntress · August 2015

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My first instinct is to go rage pants on the moron and punch him in the face. However, considering you are expecting a child with him it would probably be best to have a conversation and look into counseling. Regardless of whether you two stay together or not it's easier to raise a baby in agreement. It might be worth finding out if having a child is something he wants. If it's not, it's time to go. Best of luck to you!

kirstyadams · August 2015

Thank u all for the support, we've been together for 12 years and already have 2 kids together. So I'm torn as to what's best for them, me and the new baby. My family try to be supportive but I've always struggled to do things on my own. I'm just so lost xx

doodleoodle · August 2015

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'll be praying for you. I agree with PP that said its best to have an adult conversation with him. I think it's really disrespectful for him to still be socializing with this woman, even in a group setting. After what you found on his phone he should be willing to be completely transparent and take the lock off of his phone. I obviously don't know, but it sounds like there is still something going on.

gkfk · August 2015

Only thing to add- if he is not stable our if you are not 100% comfortable having the conversation with him in private, then do it when you are out to dinner or in a public place. The last thing that you need is for the guy to yell or act out toward you in private after you tell him that you know his secrets (and from checking his phone, no less). You need to stay safe and calm during the conversation. Best of luck.

cbg1801 · August 2015

My husband and I went thru this situation several years ago. He was into a lady from his work. We ended up going to a Christian therapist and I was able to forgive him and now we are doing great! He didn't actually ever have sex with her so that helped me to get over it easier.

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