He's so disappointed.

Barley26 · August 2015

We just found out we're having a girl.. And he couldn't be more upset about it.

A pretty devastating blow to what would otherwise be an incredibly happy moment/day/life event.

enkb · August 2015

Not sure I understand, are you upset that he is having this reaction or are you also upset that it is a girl? I can't really relate to either situation, but probably you guys should have a more in depth discussion about what specifically is bothering each of you.

JCGMPGOGG · August 2015

How about healthy, isn't that something that takes the 'devastation' away a bit??? Maybe he could focus on the bigger picture. This kills me.

ntyravgsp · August 2015

I hope for her sake he gets over that.
Eta sounds like a reality check is in order. Congrats on your daughter.

jessielynn1 · August 2015

Not sure who all is devastated just him or both. But I'd suggest maybe thinking about or reading the threads about women who have received actual devastating news about the health of there baby. That may put things in perspective.

apinkpelican · August 2015

That's really sad. I hope time brings maturity and he loves his sweet baby girl.

wassuphoes · August 2015

If your husband is "devastated" that he created (because determining sex was all him) a presumably healthy baby girl, then he should speak to a professional.

Congratulations on your daughter, I'm sure she will bring you and your husband (once he puts his big boy pants on) much happiness.

mamaclownface · August 2015

He shouldn't have put himself in the position to be a father, then.

Sorry Dear. I hope he can come around to the fact that a healthy baby is the best kind of news to get.

Edit: poor phrasing

mwalles · August 2015

My so "wants" a boy, but has also said he wants a girl. No matter what it ends up being the moment a father looks into the precious eyes of his child all 'preferences' will be lost. All that will matter is that beautiful baby girl/boy. Don't worry, he's probably just being shallow for a moment and will soon get over it. A girl is her daddies world anyways

Barley26 · August 2015

I'm really happy. I'm gonna be a mom, so either way would have been the same to me.

The ultrasound today showed us a beautiful healthy, shy and stubborn, little girl.. And I couldn't be more pleased.

Thanks everyone.

mwalles · August 2015

Also more than devastated or disappointed, maybe he is scared. He now has a little girl to protect from the world. He's probably wondering what he will be able to share with her and what knowledge he could pass down, that is a fear my SO has, but I know he won't be disappointed to have a girl.

maureenmce · August 2015

He'll come around and adore her. Glad you're happy, mama to be! Congrats!

BabyRut2015 · August 2015

Congrats on a healthy baby girl growing in there!!
Sorry your day was ruined, but that's all it is, he'll get over it. He will be completely in live when she is born. Then he'll feel like an ass.

Try not to stress.

CBWifey · August 2015

I love your take @mwalles, that's a more empathetic response in regards to her SO. I'm sorry @Barley26 that that was his reaction to the news of a girl. I know it was a big moment for you and it sucks when SOs don't think before they react. When you feel you can, maybe you all can sit together and have a heart to heart about why this was his reaction, and express your concerns and hurt feelings.

ryan1reb · August 2015

My husband wasn't by any means devastated or disappointed when we found out our first was a girl, he was however scared out of his mind! Maybe this is more the angle he's coming from. My SO is a hunter, fisher, outdoors guy and just didn't know how he would connect with a girl. However from the moment she was placed in his arms he was in LOVE! He's since realized that she can do everything he would do with a boy

Knottie15742183 · August 2015

Congrats on you're baby girl !

We are first time parents and my hubby has said all along he wants a boy it bothered me a little but after speaking with other couples who have girls he randomly said one day that having a girl doesn't sound so bad.

We also decided to be team green and he said that if our baby is a girl he would probably be way to overwhelmed excited to even think about gender dissapoinment. Woohoo another pro to being team green.

Don't worry I'm sure you're hubby will get over it on his own time. Men think soooo differently then is and most men are just scared that they wouldn't have anything to relate to.

Congrats again and please keep us updated !!

Barley26 · August 2015

His sister called, coincidentally, because she had an opening in her schedule for a haircut. So, he went (I let him go alone to give him some time to think about it all).

He just came back, after talking with her, and said, 'After talking to her and realized that everything you've ever said about stereotyping and gender inequality is absolutely correct. Having our daughter will be, is, the best thing to ever happen to me. Having a boy would have only perpetuated my opinions and old school conditioning. She is meant to be here, and I am meant to be her father because she will make me a better man'.

He's very much a man of old school ideals. And we've been wading through them with ALOT of debate so far when building our approach to a parenting style.

Talking to his sister, and hearing everything I've ever said from another female, completely changed the way he feels.

Thank you all for your support, and not ripping him apart. He really is a wonderful man, and will be an amazing dad.

ntyravgsp · August 2015

So glad to hear that @Barley26.

Kelley421 · August 2015

I love your update and I'm very happy he isn't an ass like my ex. It basically ruined my whole memory of finding out sex of DD with that assholes disappointment.

Sully314 · August 2015

Oh wow! @Barley26 that is so great to hear his change of heart!

I was going to say that my mom told me that my dad really wanted me to be a boy and was disappointed I was a girl. But once I was born, she said he was obsessed with me. I think men typically want to have boys (or at least one) for several reasons. It's someone to carry the last name (traditionally), someone to teach all the things they learned, and having a girl can be intimidating and scary for some men.

My husband has two boys from a previous marriage and we are having our first girl. He was over the moon excited to be finally having a girl but I heard him mention the other day his concern about changing her diapers. He's never had to clean a vagina before and being that he doesn't have one himself I think makes him nervous. So that's another thing that might go through a guys mind.

Nevertheless, most fathers adore their daughters and are wrapped around their tiny fingers from day one so I'm sure that your husband will too! Congrats!!!!

Snoopylovesbelle · August 2015

So glad it turned out okay!

nlwz123 · August 2015

Barley26 said:

His sister called, coincidentally, because she had an opening in her schedule for a haircut. So, he went (I let him go alone to give him some time to think about it all). He just came back, after talking with her, and said, 'After talking to her and realized that everything you've ever said about stereotyping and gender inequality is absolutely correct. Having our daughter will be, is, the best thing to ever happen to me. Having a boy would have only perpetuated my opinions and old school conditioning. She is meant to be here, and I am meant to be her father because she will make me a better man'. He's very much a man of old school ideals. And we've been wading through them with ALOT of debate so far when building our approach to a parenting style. Talking to his sister, and hearing everything I've ever said from another female, completely changed the way he feels. Thank you all for your support, and not ripping him apart. He really is a wonderful man, and will be an amazing dad.

I'm very glad to hear he came around. The most important thing is that you are having a healthy baby!

Barley26 · August 2015

@Sully314 He is the last of his name, so I think he might feel a little under pressure. It's important to both of us. So, there's always the future!

laurenmichaels · August 2015

Your update makes me happy.

aphilli8 · August 2015

My husband was upset when my first was a girl, but like yours he came around in a matter of hours and now says all the time he just can't imagine if she was a boy instead because she's just so "awesome".

Just found out our twins are boys and honestly, I had about an hour or so of "oh no". I kept saying "I don't know what to do with boys!" And my husband reminded me it's not like he knew what to do with girls. All is well now and things are how they should be.

Glad you are able to enjoy the news together now.

adcc43 · August 2015

I am glad he was able to come around to the thought of having a girl.

Hrc724 · August 2015

My husband would prefer a boy because of traditional gender stereotypes ... He wants to teach him to golf. Then our adult nephew pointed out if we have a girl, he can teach her to golf AND she'll get to hit from the women's tees in s outing giving them an advantage. It's all about perspective. Really though, if we find out we're having a girl I know he may be a little "disappointed" at first because he doesn't think he'll be able to relate to a daughter as easily but he will be completely in love with her when she gets here. That is one drawback of finding out early, I think when you find out with the birth, the baby is there and you are so immediately in love that is the only emotion felt.

apinkpelican · August 2015

Glad to hear he's had a change of heart. Just wait until he holds her. And then just wait until she's his little Daddy's girl. He'll never look back.

mg137 · August 2015

My dad wanted me to be a boy. Talked to Matthew in my mom's belly her whole pregnancy and refused to entertain the possibility I could be a girl. 3.5 yrs later, he told her she better be making him another girl because, after having one, that's all he wanted. (And all he got.)

ETA: by "all he wanted" I meant girls, not just the one baby. Ha!

CaraBoonie · August 2015

I'm so happy to see your update, I almost posted without reading everything, but now I'm glad I did!

DH definitely would have preferred a boy, but he at least was smart enough not to ever let it show to me if he was upset about it being a girl, lol (in his defense, I preferred a girl, and wouldn't have been upset over a boy, but definitely am overjoyed it's a girl). He told me that he doesn't care, as long as she is athletic, like him, unlike her uncoordinated, lazy mother, haha (my words, not his). I know he's nervous about having a daughter who is dating age, but that's over a decade away. It'd be really nice if she got into soccer (his sport), I know that would make him happier than any reproductive organs could

CBWifey · August 2015

Just wanted to post again to say I was so happy to see he came around! Yay!

l4rk · August 2015

My SO said the only legitimate reason to be devastated to have a girl is if you made a deal that promised your firstborn daughter to Rumpelstiltskin.

QueenCarlissa · August 2015

I wanted a girl and just found out we are expecting a boy I was a little down but that quickly went over my head because I'm actually used to boys I have two nephews already and I love them to death. Now I think of it like he'll have some cousins to play with. And plus boys come with their own benefits just like girls do.

mekaswifestyle · August 2015

Only thing I'm worried about if its a boy is that I told dh he could pick the name THAT will be a nightmare lol

enigmagyal · August 2015

Congrats on your daughter...try to cheer him up by telling him that daughters tend to attach more to their fathers than their moms. That bond is something so beautiful and priceless...I know all about it as I am closer to my dad than my mom!