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May 2015 Moms
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Sensitive topic with SIL. advice please

Knottie76365376Knottie76365376 member
in May 2015 Moms
I am taking a weeklong trip with my SIL and our babies to visit my parents. I am looking for advice on how to handle the sensitive topic of weight with my SIL. I am 13 weeks PP and back to my prepregnancy weight, and I am a skinny gal. My SIL is seven months PP and she is probably heavier now than before her baby was born. In my family we are all slender, and her family is overweight, so I believe much of it is genetic. It's not like I have a special diet or a weight loss Secret, if I did I would tell her! Her husband, my brother, can eat as much as he wants and is seriously a stick figure. I can imagine that it must feel so unfair.
When my SIL sees me she can't help but gush, "You're so skinny!" And "I am Just so fat!"
Growing up the only girl with five brothers I sometimes don't know how to handle these sensitive topics with my girlfriends. She is really so beautiful, and I want her to have a great week, and any advice on how to be supportive of her is greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance ladies!
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Re: Sensitive topic with SIL. advice please

  • mars8kmars8k member
    I'm still struggling with baby weight, if it were me i would want you to not look at it as an issue and completely ignore it. Even if she brings it up, but maybe tell her that you think she's beautiful, at a different time
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  • canadianmom89canadianmom89 member
    If I didn't know better I would say you were one of my four SIL writing this post. My SIL are all stick thin, and I am by no means a big girl but I have curves and compared to them I am big and my family also has some weight issues and are bigger people. One of my SIL had a baby 8 weeks before I had LO and she is back to pre pregnancy weight while I still have 15 pounds to go. My husband sounds the same as your brother , he eats whatever he wants and doesn't even gain an ounce.
    The differences in this scenario is DH family is obsessed with weight and talk about people behind their back so I know they must talk about me behind my back and my mil even commented to my mom about how big I got during my pregnancy and how hard I would have to work to lose it all. The other difference is I am confident in my curves ... Sure I can't wait to lose this last little bit and tone my tummy again but I don't compare myself to my SIL because I am not built the same and I could never be that skinny unless I starved myself or had an eating disorder.
    It took me a long time to learn that lesson ( that we are all built differently) and to just be confident with what we are given. So as long as your SIL isn't at a health risk weight I would tell her that everyone is built different and she can't compare and that she is beautiful.
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  • Knottie76365376Knottie76365376 member
    Thanks to you both for being open about this and sharing! My SIL was always the small one in her family and I think it's hard for her bc now after the baby she is big like the other women in her fam. Truth is: she is really pretty! I'm thin, but I'm all bushy hair and buck teeth and glasses- kind of a cross between Hermione and Harry Potter! I think I will definitely try to downplay it and make sure to tell her she is beautiful- at a separate time- good point!
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