Absolutely TERRIFIED of recovery. BTDT moms, help!

ROrtiz07 · August 2015

Most women I've talked to say they were scared of giving birth but I'm more afraid of the recovery.

Yes I know "you'll forget about it once you hold your baby." Spare me. I'm talking about 5 days later, at home, trying to use the bathroom, walking up & down stairs, showering, recovery. The thought of giving birth doesn't scare me one bit. I think I've spent so much time mentally preparing for delivery that it all of a sudden hit me that my vag will be obliterated by this little guy in a few short weeks and I'll have to continue on with life as if it never happened lol.

Any advice to calm the nerves of a ftm? What are some tricks & tips that kept you from losing it after giving birth? What should I buy to help the recovery process?

komorebi · August 2015

My recovery was great. The exhaustion from my first was the hardest but it was more due to a slightly extended hospital stay than her, she actually slept a bunch. Power naps will save your life. Ice packs help with any swelling. The first poop is a big mental hurdle and sometimes a physical one, but hello stool softeners. It's not the sexiest time in your life but it's manageable. And it's cliché but the baby is worth it. It's an amazing thing.

I've never felt that my vagina was ruined. Granted in three babies I've never torn, and I've had three vaginal births, so i have no clue about cesarean healing outside of helping friends and family.

wildbutterfli2001 · August 2015

I had a c section but my recovery really wasn't too bad. Take it easy and don't try to be superwoman right away. Use the peri bottle and tucks.try to eat high fiber foods to make pooping a little easier.

curfam4 · August 2015

I honestly spent a lot of time preparing for a med free birth with DD#1 that I honestly didn't even think about the recovery. While it wasn't the most excruciating thing I've ever been through, it was definitely not fun. I was quite sore for a good week after, but it honestly does get a little better each day. A few tips that I figured out along the way:

-use the peri bottle of warm water while you pee, not just after. The warm water helps with the stinging.

-sitz baths really do help, so try to keep up with them.

-take the stool softeners that they give you...they really help make the first bm not so traumatic.

-the frozen pads that they give you in the hospital are amazing!

-move slowly while sitting down...don't "scootch" from one spot to another.

oywiththepoodlesalready · August 2015

@rortiz07 I have the exact same fear. I know that I can get through the labor and pushing but having swelling and stitches scares me so bad! Just started looking into post-birth supply needs today but I feel like I need to mentally prepare for dealing with the recovery more than the labor.

vamomtobe · August 2015

I agree @komorebi, it's all about that first poop! Other than that, just plan on taking it a bit slow for the few weeks, not on being totally incapacitated. You'll have no problem hopping in the shower, getting around the house, etc. We even took our son out for his walk around the neighborhood within a few days of being home (he was jaundiced and we needed to get him in some sunlight!). Try to keep active through your pregnancy, and that'll help, too. Other than poop-related purchases, all you really can do to prepare is accept that you'll be slower than normal and it's for a good reason - you need to give your body a chance to heal. Don't try to do too much too early. It's very temporary. I tore and had several stitches, and those freaked me out at the time, but here I am 3 years later and I don't think there's any difference at all down there and I never think about it.

ChariZae · August 2015

My first recovery was painful. I'll spare you the details, but if you do tear, my advice is to pay close attention to your body. While there is expected to be some discomfort in the healing process, if something feels wrong, don't hesitate to go in.

on_the_move · August 2015

Try not to psych yourself out, neither of my recoveries were particularly hard. With my first I had the idea that I needed to stay in bed at the hospital and I think that slowed down my recovery and feeling normal. As soon as you feel up to it walk around your room and get moving. I think that really helped with my second. Plan to rest and just take care of you and the baby for at least a week and you will probably be fine.

eat111315 · August 2015

I was totally terrified of the post partum with my first. To be honest with you, it was not that bad. Like others have said "take it slow", peri bottle witch hazel and ice packs. Let others help you even. I felt amazing a couple days after birth and thought I could do it all, then the next day could barely move.

With both my kids I was back to almost normal activity level within 10 days. Well, as normal as possible sleeping in two hour clips. Just remember for every horror story you hear about post partum, there are ten other women who had an ok time of it.

MyCousinVinny · August 2015

Both my deliveries were c-sections and if I'm being totally honest, recovery the 2nd time was hard. At the hospital, I was in a lot of pain and I was starving (they wouldn't let me eat solid food until I had pooped or passed gas, which didn't happen until I went home 3 days later).

But once I was home, things got easier. I made sure I kept moving but took it slow. Each day gets easier, just make sure you're getting plenty of rest.

4littles · August 2015

Recovery isn't to bad. With that being said I did feel like I gave birth out my butt? That was the worse of it,but take it easy and do everything everyone suggested and it will be ok.Recovery isn't to bad or I wouldn't be on baby 4

HereWeGoAgain29 · August 2015

One thing to prepare for, is that if you have a C-Section you will not be allowed to drive for two weeks post-delivery. I didn't have the greatest recovery from my first C-Section, and I'm dreading having to go through a second. But, as cliché as it sounds, the baby really is worth it. DON'T be afraid to rely on the help and support of your loved ones - there is no shame in napping as much as possible, accepting offers of meals, cleaning, etc. Give your poor body a rest, it will have just been through a traumatic experience (not to mention 9 months of being invaded by the baby). Good luck!

LiveNLove44 · August 2015

I was exactly the same as you described when I was pregnant with DD. I wasn't nervous at all about labor and delivery. I figured I trained for it (okay, so my body was in shape and I should be able to push out a baby), so it would be fine. I truly feared recovery. TBH, my recovery was worse than I anticipated, but it's because I didn't take advice like @ChariZae mentioned: if something is off, go in. I ended up jumping out of bed about 5-6 days PP because I lurched awake to DD coughing or something. I ripped my stitches and bled, but I was too nervous to go in. I just assumed it would all heal up just fine. I didn't know how bad it had to be for me to need to return to the hospital or my OB's office. In hindsight, I should have gone in.

I recommend the sitz baths and as many times a day as you can (my hospital highly recommended 3 times a day). It felt impossible, but I was armed with their recommendation, so DH helped make that happen. The stool softeners are a must, and talk with your doctor about how long you're okay to take them (days). My OB had me switch what I was taking after the first few weeks. Buy witch hazel in liquid form that you can mix into your peri bottle and then also invest in Tucks. Both were incredibly helpful in soothing the pain!

No matter how hard it was, I'm doing it again because it really doesn't last forever. Even though recovery is a longer time period than L&D, it still isn't terribly long. It can't last forever, and you'll be fairly distracted

Come back here to Bump when you can for extra support!

ajhellmuth · August 2015

There's already a lot of good advice so I second all of it! The recovery really isn't that bad at all so don't fret about it! Your vagina isn't going to be ruined I promise. I'm on my 4th pregnancy and if it was that bad I would've been done a long time ago. I don't have a very high pain tolerance!

loveleighmami · August 2015

You'll be fine! It's gross, but it's not forever. The ice pads the dr gives you are the best, once you run out don't feel like you can't whip out an ice pack, and a donut pillow or something similar to keep pressure off of your crotch.

ROrtiz07 · August 2015

Thank you all for the reassurance! I'm still pretty nervous but I think that's because I'm only human. I'm definitely trying not to psych myself out. I think I'm just having a temporary freak out lol. Everything has been fairly easy for me so far and then I started reading about post partum care and lost my mind lol.

cc47033 · August 2015

Do they give you the sitz bath toilet attachment at the hospital, or do you need to purchase your own? Also, where would you buy one?? Thanks!!

ROrtiz07 · August 2015

cc47033 said:
Do they give you the sitz bath toilet attachment at the hospital, or do you need to purchase your own? Also, where would you buy one?? Thanks!!

I'm curious about this too. I have my L&D tour at my hospital next week so I plan on asking them about post partum care during that.

LiveNLove44 · August 2015

ROrtiz07 said:

Do they give you the sitz bath toilet attachment at the hospital, or do you need to purchase your own? Also, where would you buy one?? Thanks!!
I'm curious about this too. I have my L&D tour at my hospital next week so I plan on asking them about post partum care during that.

@ROrtiz07 and @cc47033, you don't need to buy a toilet attachment. You can just use your own bathtub. https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/sitz-bath

Also, consider Epsom salts, but also ask your healthcare provider to see what they think!

amberrmariee20 · August 2015

ROrtiz07 said:
Most women I've talked to say they were scared of giving birth but I'm more afraid of the recovery.

Yes I know "you'll forget about it once you hold your baby." Spare me. I'm talking about 5 days later, at home, trying to use the bathroom, walking up & down stairs, showering, recovery. The thought of giving birth doesn't scare me one bit. I think I've spent so much time mentally preparing for delivery that it all of a sudden hit me that my vag will be obliterated by this little guy in a few short weeks and I'll have to continue on with life as if it never happened lol.

Any advice to calm the nerves of a ftm? What are some tricks & tips that kept you from losing it after giving birth? What should I buy to help the recovery process?

My recovery was pretty easy, my son was 9.7 lbs and I had him vaginally, the next day I was up walking around, sitting down, showering, going up and down stairs I felt amazing !! I had a ton of stitches and they didn't start hurting until a few days later when the swelling went down, then it hurt to pee because they were slightly opened, but other than that it was easy !

babyvelasquez2015 · August 2015

What is a sitz bath?

CocoR04 · August 2015

babyvelasquez2015 said:
What is a sitz bath?

It's basically just a warm bath for your bum and/or lady parts when they need healing. There is a toilet seat attachment you can buy if you don't have a bathtub. You just soak in it for a while once or twice a day. It feels really good!

Pain-wise, my postpartum recovery from DS was a breeze. I didn't take any pain meds after coming home from the hospital even though I had a second degree tear. I never used frozen pads or witch hazel (or anything). The peri bottle was all I needed. And giant pads!!

My biggest slap in the face was facing all the extra baby weight I had to lose. I gained wayyyyyyy too much and still looked pregnant/puffy months later. Therefore, my confidence took a bigger hit than my lady parts.

crob718 · August 2015

Go easy on yourself, lots dog great advice on this thread. A postpartum doula can be a tremendous help as well!

crob718 · August 2015

*of not dog

leighann1 · August 2015

LiveNLove44 said:

ROrtiz07 said:

Do they give you the sitz bath toilet attachment at the hospital, or do you need to purchase your own? Also, where would you buy one?? Thanks!!
I'm curious about this too. I have my L&D tour at my hospital next week so I plan on asking them about post partum care during that.

@ROrtiz07 and @cc47033, you don't need to buy a toilet attachment. You can just use your own bathtub. https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/sitz-bath

Also, consider Epsom salts, but also ask your healthcare provider to see what they think!

Is it hard to get in and out of the bathtub, though? I almost wonder if I'd be able to use the toilet attachment more often than the tub.

cindykinnear · August 2015

I had great recoveries with both of my daughters. I had vaginal delivery, no tearing. The nurses at the hospital were great at explaining everything and preparing me for recovery. Definitely do the sitz baths, take it easy, slow down, and don't worry. Those first few weeks are like a blur, they go by so fast. Before you know it, you will be totally healed and will be a pro at being a mommy.
The only thing I struggled with was post partum depression. I had a few days where I cried uncontrollably and for no reason.. Be prepared for that possibility.
Good luck! I'm sure everything will be fine :-)

LiveNLove44 · August 2015

@leighann1, I had a tough recovery and it wasn't difficult to get in and out of the tub at all. In fact, I enjoyed it more because I took a full bath rather than just soaking in a couple inches. That's a great question, but I really don't think it's something to worry about for the vast majority of women. Maybe try it and if it doesn't work, Amazon has quick delivery options or you could buy one to have on standby from a local store and then return it if the bathtub works well!

mandy903 · August 2015

My hospital has always sent me home with a sitz toilet attachment. And the last time it also had the hanging iv bag thing with a tube that fit in the bottom of the basin and was like a little jet Spa for my bits. It was heavenly!

midge519 · August 2015

I second what most of these ladies said. I never used the witch hazel but the peri bottle was heaven sent! With my first at 3 days old we went to an amusement park. We held him or had him in the stroller the whole time so people didn't mess with him but I had to get out. We were getting bombarded at home (I loved it at the hospital, it kept me entertained) and I needed some time away from everyone. We just packed up, my parents, ex, brother, baby, and myself and went an hour-ish away to Knobel's. It was the best thing I could have done. I didn't ride any rides other than the carousel and the train but walking around and getting the fresh air was perfect. We did stop to sit any time I needed a break. With my second it was winter so I just went to walmart or to a friends house and got up and moving as much as I could. I also moved cross country at 6.5 weeks PP and by the time I flew out I was pretty much myself again (minus some extra weight and boobs ginormous with milk).

krae771 · August 2015

I was sore down below and going to the bathroom was a bit of a challenge for awhile, but other than that, it wasn't THAT bad and I did have a tear. They gave me a bottle of ibuprofen at discharge and I used maybe 1/3 of the bottle and then I didn't need it anymore. The tucks & the peri bottle helped a lot. I think the end of pregnancy kind of makes you used to being semi-miserable all of the time! Make sure you have a donut to sit on (I used an old boppy) if you are going to be sitting for extended periods, aka nursing. The rest of my body felt find within a few days...I was taking short walks from the day I got home from the hospital and up to 30 minutes within a week (Just listen to your body...I would feel sore if I overdid it).

Really, nursing in the beginning was the most painful for me- have gel soothies, cold/hot packs, lanolin, and plenty of nursing pads on hand!

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