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"bad habits" and approaching 3 months

SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
in May 2015 Moms
Hi all,

Since LO was born I've kept reading that you can't spoil a baby under 3 months and that you should do whatever possible to try to comfort baby right away. Well now that our LOs are about 3 months, I'm wondering what kind of bad habits I should start avoiding. Do I let LO cry a little longer when he gets fussy? Don't always whip out a boob when he needs comforting? I really want to try to transition to his crib for real now but the darn RnP is such a godsend when it comes to sleeping. Any other recommendations?? :)
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Re: "bad habits" and approaching 3 months

  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
    I just found this article so maybe we have until 6 months until this becomes an issue??: https://www.parents.com/baby/development/behavioral/can-you-spoil-a-baby/
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  • lola2beelola2bee member
    I was thinking about this too.  Right now I am the worlds largest pacifier.  We are also still stuck in the RnP.  Her "bedtime" is also past midnight.  We are a mess and need to turn this ship around soon.  Argh!
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  • blitzy23blitzy23 member
    I personally believe in slow transitions and everything in moderation. Work on LO taking 1 nap in the crib per day. Then work your way up. As a mom, you will know when baby can cry a bit, or when he/she needs comforting. None of us like a huge shock in routine, so think of it the same way for baby. Our LO's are still new to the world, so we want to teach them to start coping just a little at a time! That's my strategy, but every mom will need to follow those gut instincts on how to handle each situation.
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  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
    I totally agree @blitzy23 unfortunately I've been putting him in his crib since day 1 for at least one of his daily naps (not every day but just about) to try to avoid the transition issue. He usually goes down fine if I put him in there sleepy but he rarely sleeps longer than 2 hours in it. I know I need to be more persistent with it though!
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  • HeatherC21HeatherC21 member
    My DD has been sleeping in her crib through the night since 3 weeks old (besides this recent sleep regression/ growth spurt) and she does not nap well in her crib only very short times. So you could try the crib at night and it may surprise you.
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  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
    Oh I've tried it! The most I've gotten over night is 4 hours and then after that he's more awake and pissed that he's on a flat firm surface.
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  • HeatherC21HeatherC21 member
    I am not going back to work and DD spends the large majority of her time with me, we ebf and haven't made much use of babysitters, probably less than five times. The past couple weeks though if I am leaving DD she will turn into a completely different child. She will scream inconsolably for an hour or two until she wears herself out or I get home. I thought separation anxiety didn't start until 9 months or so? I am nervous this is the start of something that is going to make me feel like I can never leave my baby. Any advice or suggestions? She is 3 months old today.
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  • justkeeptryingjustkeeptrying member
    I've been thinking a lot about this too. At present DS will only nap longer than 20-30 minutes if I am holding him. And I can't spend the rest of my life holding him when he naps. He does aersome at night - usually 6-8 hours and then another 3. But naps suck!!!! I always try to put him down and he will sleep for 20 minutes but then he wakes up. If I hold him he will nap for an hour and a half minimum. I don't have a clue what to do!!! He's too young to sleep train. :(
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  • Knottie76365376Knottie76365376 member
    My LO will be 3 months soon and I have not left him yet.  He is my second, and with my first (both EBF) I just remember there coming a point where he was able to be with other people without it being a big deal.  The stretches in time that I felt comfortable being away from him and vise versa got longer and longer naturally.  I remember that by the time he was a year old he would spend half the day with Daddy or grandma and it was no big deal. Not long after that I started working full time and the transition was practically seamless. My philosophy is to "go with the flow" when it comes to caring for a baby, and trust your gut.  Sometimes by worrying or trying to push something too soon we create a problem where there didn't need to be one. 
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  • erin79erin79 member
    chambersbaby2015 said:
    I've been thinking a lot about this too. At present DS will only nap longer than 20-30 minutes if I am holding him. And I can't spend the rest of my life holding him when he naps. He does aersome at night - usually 6-8 hours and then another 3. But naps suck!!!! I always try to put him down and he will sleep for 20 minutes but then he wakes up. If I hold him he will nap for an hour and a half minimum. I don't have a clue what to do!!! He's too young to sleep train. :(
    Generally, naps suck at 3 months. It's totally normal. If he's still taking 20 minute naps at 6 months, then that's when you should start to worry about it.  For now, just keep putting him in the crib and he will (probably) figure out how to take longer naps on his own within the next couple of months.

    (I'm definitely not speaking as an expert, but as a 2nd time mom who ob-freaking-sessed about my older child's naps at this age like you wouldn't believe. He figured it out on his own, with no help from me.)
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  • DMELDMEL member
    HeatherC21 said:

    My DD has been sleeping in her crib through the night since 3 weeks old (besides this recent sleep regression/ growth spurt) and she does not nap well in her crib only very short times. So you could try the crib at night and it may surprise you.

    Same story here
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  • justkeeptryingjustkeeptrying member
    erin79 said:


    chambersbaby2015 said:

    I've been thinking a lot about this too. At present DS will only nap longer than 20-30 minutes if I am holding him. And I can't spend the rest of my life holding him when he naps. He does aersome at night - usually 6-8 hours and then another 3. But naps suck!!!! I always try to put him down and he will sleep for 20 minutes but then he wakes up. If I hold him he will nap for an hour and a half minimum. I don't have a clue what to do!!! He's too young to sleep train. :(

    Generally, naps suck at 3 months. It's totally normal. If he's still taking 20 minute naps at 6 months, then that's when you should start to worry about it.  For now, just keep putting him in the crib and he will (probably) figure out how to take longer naps on his own within the next couple of months.

    (I'm definitely not speaking as an expert, but as a 2nd time mom who ob-freaking-sessed about my older child's naps at this age like you wouldn't believe. He figured it out on his own, with no help from me.)


    Thanks @erin79. Every once in a while he will have an awesome nap which is very encouraging. Today he napped for over 2 hours in his pack and play. I got so much done around the house in those 2 hours. Made me a very happy mommy!!! We get about one nap per week like that so I have to take advantage of it when it happens!
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  • morgansWed105148morgansWed105148 member
    lola2bee said:

    I was thinking about this too.  Right now I am the worlds largest pacifier.  We are also still stuck in the RnP.  Her "bedtime" is also past midnight.  We are a mess and need to turn this ship around soon.  Argh!

    Me flippen too!! We tried to transition into pack and play screamed bloody murder! So we bought a smaller pack and play thing and we can get him to sleep for maybe two hours then he wants to be put in his rnp. He's soo tall I'm scared I'm messing him up :/. We try to lay him down in new bed every chance I get. Hoping he gets use to it

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  • alliebsmithalliebsmith member
    I stopped rocking my LO to sleep a few weeks ago at night. She has been sleeping in her crib for over a month now and sleeps 12 hours a night and I swaddle her, give her the pacifier and then rub her forehead in her crib until she falls asleep. Then after a few mins I take the pacifier out and she's good for the night. It's important for them to be drowsy but awake in their crib so that when they wake up in the night they don't get scared (if you rock them to sleep and they wake up alone in their crib it's scary).

    My LO catnaps during the day and I can't get her on a nap schedule but she is starting daycare next week and I know they will have success with that as she gets older.
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  • MrsElizabethPlanoMrsElizabethPlano member
    I think it's a judgement call but right now slowly I'm weaning baby off of "spoiling" I feel 4 months is the time when consistant sceduals should be worked on. Now I don't always go to her right away, I still watch for cues to get her what she wants before she starts to fuss so that I know the fussiness is due to her inability to self soothe and I feel like giving her a couple minutes will help her do so. Pretty soon I'll start trying to adjust when she naps, but that will wait until she stays awake for more than an hour at a time. I'll also shorten her very early morning feeds in the hope of eradicating it.
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