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Husband wants to take over decorating nursery

meowcat84meowcat84 member
edited August 2015 in 2nd Trimester
I would like us to agree on what to do. But claims that since I choose the colors the house he should pick the theme and I won't let him "have this" since it's his son. He's my son too and I want to both work on the nursery so I can get excited about having a baby. I feel like this is something I don't get to be apart of or it's being taken away. He wants dinosaur theme and is fixated on getting decals more than the whole process and all the bedding he wants is on various sites or not being produced anymore.. I want a say and it just makes me more emotional when I think about it.
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Re: Husband wants to take over decorating nursery

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  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
    It's your baby too. You should definitely be working together on this.

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  • jenbstevensjenbstevens member
    You absolutely must talk to him about this. If you can't discuss this and compromise, what will you do when more important decisions about the baby come up?
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  • BigboobsmcgeeBigboobsmcgee member
    You should be talking to your husband about this and not the internet. This is not that big of a deal IMO and much more difficult crap will come up when you actually have the baby so I'd get this sorted out between the 2 of you.
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  • Disneygeek77Disneygeek77 member
    Tell him how much this means to you and how much you were looking forward to decorating the nursery.

    Maybe come up with ideas for 5 or 6 themes and see if you both agree on any.  
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  • Wicked4589Wicked4589 member
    You get to care for and grow this baby in you for 9 months. He's probably feeling left out and like he wants to make something his project too since you have the most important one. It could be his way of trying to nest. To me it's a non issue because you'll end up redecorating in a few years anyway, I would let him go for it. But that's just me. My husband has said from when we were dating that he wants to decorate the nursery. It's his way of being involved. I figure it's minor in the grand scheme of things.
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  • inomniaparatusinomniaparatus member
    Um no. Decals --- enough said. Shut him down. Lol

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  • CraigglesCraiggles member
    Look ahead 10 yrs. Does this really matter? sounds like this isnt really about dinosaur decals. It sounds like you guys are having trouble compromising and you both sound a little guilty to me. On the bright side, you have 2 loving parents who want to create a great space for the kid they already obviously love. Thats a pretty good problems to have, as far as problems go. So be grateful for that. The kid won't even notice the decor anyway and that can be changed anytime. I think what's really in order is a talk about compromising, listening well (as well as expressing your feelings - both are important) & working as a team - skills you may want to teach your son. In 10, 20 yrs this will be a memory, a part of your love story. Keep in mind the kind of memories you want to make.
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited August 2015
    He sounds like my husband (about certain things - not so much this) and that's that he needs to balance control (usually coming out in his favour) Everything has to be exactly equal, exactly fair and exactly within his control. If he doesn't get his way, it's "Not Fair". 

    Typical type A. 

    So here's how i jedi mind trick people like this. I actually give them some control. Why not? After all, it's his choice too, right? So make a list of things that go into decorating a nursery (like the colours of the walls, what style of crib, blankets etc) and tell him he gets half the choices and you get the other half.

    Choose like you chose when picking junior high school sports teams. He makes a choice, you make a choice and so on until you've both got an equal say. 

    This works because nursery decor is dependent on other nursery decor. So if you choose the wall colour but he gets the crib style, he will need to make it work with the colours you chose. And vice versa. 

    That way it's a masterpiece created by both of you.

    And if he insists on all the control, laugh at him, call him cute and tell him it's not happening. What's he going to do, tie you up and decorate ransom-style?

    ** Just a note.. keep in mind that you're not going to like all of his choices. Tell him if it happens and give your reasons but remember that ultimately his picks are HIS to choose ;)
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