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Help! Playing doctor

iandebenderiandebender member
edited July 2015 in Parenting
My daughter is 3.5yrs old and has been with a new babysitter since dd#2 was born due to daycare costs. The babysitter is in-home and dd seems to love playing there just 3 days a week when I work. Babysitter has a 6or7 yr old boy and a 10yr old daughter who are there during the day as well as a 4 yr old boy she sits,a 2yr old and a 10 month old she watches. So as you can see alot of kids. The bigger kids usually play in the finished basement as there is a toy room down there. My daughter came to me last night and said babysitters son W had poked her "lady parts" with a "stabber thing" (I gathered this is a toy syringe) I asked her how that happened ... She said we were playing doctor and he did it. I asked if she'd told the babysitter what happened? She said yes, and babysitter just said "okay, we're not playing doctor" this all supposedly happened last week according to my daughter. The babysitter didn't mention this to me at all. I'm so glad dd told me... But what do I do now? My gut instinct is saying "get her outta there". It made me sick to my stomach to hear this. I want to call the sitter today and talk to her about it but idk what to say?
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Re: Help! Playing doctor

  • niknak1208niknak1208 member
    How old is W? I think that matters. Was it the 6/7 yr old boy or the 4 yr old boy? If it's the 4 yr old, I wouldn't worry as much because he probably has no idea. But my son is 6.. Almost 7 and he knows the difference between boys and girls and he knows that no one touches anyone else's private parts.

    I might first approach the babysitter and just ask her about it. My first concern would be that she didn't tell you but maybe it wasn't a big deal? If it was the 4 yr old that could be the case.

    I would start by asking her.
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  • 2-Step2-Step member
    It sounds like it was the 7 year old son. I definitely think it warrants a conversation and a question about supervision at a minimum. I'm glad she told her babysitter, but if you are paying her to watch your child I don't think letting them all just play downstairs in a play room away from her supervision would cut it for me. She should, at the very least, be able to hear the kids and near enough to glance on them every 5 minutes if they are not in her direct line of sight. It sounds like your daughter is the youngest of the "big kids" and therefore she is most likely to be exposed to language or actions that are inappropriate for her age. That also sounds like way too many kids for her to be giving quality care. I would start looking for something else if I were you. I have a 6 year old son, and I understand kids are curious about each others bodies and sometimes behave inapprorpirately, but that is why they should be supervised, especially around younger children!! What if your daughter hadn't told her sitter or you and it kept happening? It sounds like the sitter would not have any idea it was going on since they were all downstairs. What else is going on that your daughter hasn't mentioned or maybe didn't even know was wrong? 3.5 is way too young to be left alone with a group of older kids that you don't know very well. 
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  • Ya Never KnowYa Never Know member
    I would ask your care provider about it before doing anything too harsh. If your care provider didn't witness the incident firsthand (and I know this can happen when they're getting things ready, or even just paying attention to one kid at any given moment), it's possible that when your DD told your care provider what happened she left out some of the details that she told you about what happened. She could have just told your daycare provider that the other kid hit her, or poked her, but not that it was in her lady parts so your daycare provider reprimanded by stopping the game, but not knowing the full extent of what happened. Talk to your care provider, she may not know the full story, and I'm sure she would be a lot more vigilant of the other kid if she knew what he was up to.
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  • Anne MommyAnne Mommy member
    Like PP said, I would talk to the provider. My DS is 4 and apparently talked with another boy about their underwear, what's inside the underwear and what they use it for. Once they asked if she had a "pee pee" too, she stopped the conversation. I told our provider that I don't feel comfortable with DS playing where he isn't supervised (like downstairs with other kids) after DS was slightly injured during play. She keeps him upstairs now. 
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