Need some advice!

lsalvag1 · August 2015

This is our first month TTC...I'm on CD 12 and am feeling stressed/nervous/crazy....lots of emotions. I have been charting and temping but I feel like it's consuming me!! My poor SO was listening to me talk about CM last night and let's just say it put a big damper on our attempt to BD. I'm trying to be realistic and know that there is a really good chance I will not get pregnant my first month and I'm trying to stay relaxed. I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to make this more of a fun process and stay sane this first month. Or maybe I just needed to vent! Thanks everyone

WinchestertoPittsburgh · August 2015

Venting is the best. Especially here, since almost everyone can relate on a given day. I felt the same way this morning, to tell the truth. I get really excited and ready for the month, but by this time and not seeing a clear ovulation, I feel defeated and I get tired of waiting. BDing becomes more of a chore and I'm ready to throw in the towel. I guess we just have to keep giving ourselves pep talks, do something fun (I got my hair completely chopped off two days ago) and just remember that these few days/months are just a drop in the bucket compared to the (hopefully) good things that will come our way.

lsalvag1 · August 2015

I feel like I can relate to so much of what you said! It's only month 1 and I'm already feeling like BDing is a chore. I need to figure out some ways to spice it up a bit i suppose!

And I'm definitely due for a hair cut so that's not a bad idea...

bsckgb7 · August 2015

I say don't talk to your husband about FW and thing related to that. Just initate sex when its time.

WinchestertoPittsburgh · August 2015

I've found that it's not even the 'spicing things up' that helps (although its fun!) for us, it's more or less just letting things flow naturally and not trying to bring up TTC as much. We did for the past few months and it just makes us both anxious. Also wine. Wine helps.

mrstmoose · August 2015

I would agree with all of the above. Also, just speaking my from experience, I was overly nervous, anxious, overwhelmed and generally just stressed out. I have calmed down considerably (at least on the outside) now that I'm passed the first month. Just remember it's a journey and it may take awhile. The ladies here on this board really understand so this is a great place to be!

lalalorelai · August 2015

WinchestertoPittsburgh said:

I've found that it's not even the 'spicing things up' that helps (although its fun!) for us, it's more or less just letting things flow naturally and not trying to bring up TTC as much. We did for the past few months and it just makes us both anxious. Also wine. Wine helps.

I 100% agree with this. I had a bit of a break down earlier this week -- H wasn't feeling into sex, but I knew I was going to O. We talked it out and I realized how ridiculous I was being. It can definitely consume you, but this is a stressful enough process by itself. So now I'm making an effort to just relax and let things happen. I'm still charting of course, but I'm trying to take the approach that if it doesn't happen this month, that's okay. But I'm only on my second month so we'll see how long this works!

IB113 · August 2015

My DH and I are planning a few weekend day trips (apple picking, kayaking, hiking) over the next couple of months when the weather is still nice up here in the Northeast, and I think it makes it much easier to stay out of a routine/rut with something to look forward to that is different than the same 'ol work-dinner-bed-work grind.

bulldogs824 · August 2015

Don't talk about it 24/7 with the hubby. I didn't mean to but one night my husband wasn't able to complete the deed... Probably had to do more with the fact that he was slightly buzzed and overtired but he revealed the next day that he is slightly stressed about this too. Just relax. Health class made us believe we would all get knocked up the first time. This isn't always true. Relax, have fun, temp, ovulate, relax some more, poas when you miss your period.

***men hate to admit it but they have feelings too. They are just as stressed as we are. Relaxing makes our bodies relax, which is a key ingredient***

lsalvag1 · August 2015

bulldogs824 said:

Don't talk about it 24/7 with the hubby. I didn't mean to but one night my husband wasn't able to complete the deed... Probably had to do more with the fact that he was slightly buzzed and overtired but he revealed the next day that he is slightly stressed about this too. Just relax. Health class made us believe we would all get knocked up the first time. This isn't always true. Relax, have fun, temp, ovulate, relax some more, poas when you miss your period. ***men hate to admit it but they have feelings too. They are just as stressed as we are. Relaxing makes our bodies relax, which is a key ingredient***

Yes, this is what I needed to hear.

MNturnsVA · August 2015

My DH wants to know some things, but not all things. So I've told him a few things just because he thought that we were going to get KU immediately and I kept telling him that is probably not going to be the case. LIke that we only have a 20% chance each cycle. And that there is a window of days that are ideal for the baby making.

So now he asks when the FW is because he wants to "increase fluids, get more sleep" per him......and also, he usually takes care of himself daily, so he knows that during the FW he can't do that and we have sex.

I hadn't told him that I was using OPKS but he's seen them in the garbage and then the other day I brought one down stairs to the kitchen with me because I was going to make breakfast and be downstairs for a while and didn't want to have to go back upstairs to check on the OPK. He saw it and said, are you POAS again?

He also knows i'm temping and a little bit of how that works.

So I would only provide things on a need to know basis really and try to avoid talking about it unless he asks otherwise. Also, I would definitely avoid sending him a text saying I'm supposed to O, we need to have sex or anything like that. Just find ways to get him in the mood during that time.

I've never been one to be overly interested in sex, so I've tried to make more effort to show interest in that so that he would not feel "used" during the FW.

TheBorg7of9 · August 2015

It's like fight club.

The first rule of TTC is don't tell your DH about your cervical mucus.

The second rule of TTC is DON'T TELL YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT YOUR CERVICSL MUCUS!

lalalorelai · August 2015

TheBorg7of9 said:

It's like fight club. The first rule of TTC is don't tell your DH about your cervical mucus. The second rule of TTC is DON'T TELL YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT YOUR CERVICSL MUCUS!

All H knows is that there are "other" signs that I check besides my bbt. He asked what they were but I just told him he didn't want to know. Trust me, he does NOT want to know.

DesertYogi · August 2015

TheBorg7of9 said:

It's like fight club. The first rule of TTC is don't tell your DH about your cervical mucus. The second rule of TTC is DON'T TELL YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT YOUR CERVICSL MUCUS!

This. I think sometimes it's necessary to keep DH in the dark about the details. It's easy to turn BD into a chore and that can lead to pressure that might kill the mood (men are sensitive!). Maybe even don't tell him when you're in the FW and just initiate like you would before TTC. If your temping and BD'ing you're doing it right!

I like to distract myself with other hobbies.. and chat here lots. Bumpies are keeping my sanity.

oandmplus1 · August 2015

TheBorg7of9 said:

It's like fight club. The first rule of TTC is don't tell your DH about your cervical mucus. The second rule of TTC is DON'T TELL YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT YOUR CERVICSL MUCUS!

Best avice ever!

lsalvag1 · August 2015

TheBorg7of9 said:

It's like fight club. The first rule of TTC is don't tell your DH about your cervical mucus. The second rule of TTC is DON'T TELL YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT YOUR CERVICSL MUCUS!

Too funny!! Yes, I'm going to limit what I share with him, unless he specifically asks.

saladflambe · August 2015

I'm on month 1 too, and I hear you. Although, for us, we used condoms for BC all this time... DH and I have only ever had sex without a condom once... 4 years ago.

I feel like that change alone is going to keep him/us entertained for a while lol.

sorarose · August 2015

saladflambe said:

I'm on month 1 too, and I hear you. Although, for us, we used condoms for BC all this time... DH and I have only ever had sex without a condom once... 4 years ago.

I feel like that change alone is going to keep him/us entertained for a while lol.

**TW: PRIOR PREGNANCY**

Same thing for us. We conceived DS on our honeymoon and had a pretty sexless 9 months due to morning sickness and potential complications. This is part of the excitement for us as well!

bulldogs824 · August 2015

Quick story: I think I had my FF app open and my husband all of a sudden asked "what's cm?" "Cervical mucus". I've never seen my phone fly out of his hand so quick.

PrimRoseMama · August 2015

lsalvag1 said:
This is our first month TTC...I'm on CD 12 and am feeling stressed/nervous/crazy....lots of emotions. I have been charting and temping but I feel like it's consuming me!! My poor SO was listening to me talk about CM last night and let's just say it put a big damper on our attempt to BD. I'm trying to be realistic and know that there is a really good chance I will not get pregnant my first month and I'm trying to stay relaxed. I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to make this more of a fun process and stay sane this first month. Or maybe I just needed to vent! Thanks everyone

Just bang your husband & test once a month. Don't make it complicated or stressful. :-??

meggiemoo219 · August 2015

I know exactly what you're going through! At first I was stressed and losing my mind and it's all I could think to talk about with hubby. Honestly I started using lavender oil to help me relax in general and I'm trying to keep super busy! I also try to not initiate myself, unless it's that time of month, so that it doesn't get annoying to him. We have pretty open communication, however I think it's best for our relationship if I keep most of this type of talk to myself ☺️ good luck!

Need some advice!

Re: Need some advice!

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