Baby Shower Question

weasleyB5 · August 2015

Question - Who's hosting your baby shower?

I am just livid right now about what's going on over this.

So much for not making a pregnant Mama stressed!!

ketobaby · August 2015

My mother and two of my older cousins will plan and host.

yl1m32015 · August 2015

My mom and mother in law are hosting. What sort of drama is happening and with whom?

leek71983 · August 2015

My mom and two of my friends are going to work together for my hometown one. I have a friend where I currently live who wants to host one as well.

RSB1982 · August 2015

I wasn't even sure I was going to have a shower, but my two nieces have volunteered to have one for me (big age difference between me and my siblings - they are a good 25+ years older than me so I have nieces that are around my age).

Sunny2015 · August 2015

My mom and sister are working together to throw one.

Gingermom15 · August 2015

My best friend is throwing mine. What going on with yours?

rain0831boww · August 2015

My mom, mil and sister. What's going on?

ChiccoBeanz · August 2015

My mom and aunt will do one. My fmil will do the other.

weasleyB5 · August 2015

...Sorry, that was REALLY long!

rain0831boww · August 2015

I'm sorry you have to deal with this drama. Have you talked to your dh about it? Is he saying anything to his parents? I feel that your parents were trying their best to accommodate your in-laws' budget. It sucks because you should even have to deal with any of the drama ad get involved but I would talk to your dh about it and see if he can talk to his parents and settle it. Good luck! :-(

willashbaby · August 2015

If that's how they feel and it's just your parents hosting then just invite who they want and don't worry about the other side. Done. Don't worry about those 10 guests and call it a day. My Mother wants nothing to do with my MIL (fine with me) so she is throwing a shower for her side only. If my MIL wants to do anything that's up to her. I don't care. Neither does my DH.

ketobaby · August 2015

Perhaps if the issue can't be settled they can split out and have two baby showers. Your parents can continue their route and your in laws can have a smaller gathering at their house within their budget.

Jellybeanbreeze · August 2015

I agree with Ketobaby! If they think it's tacky but still want their people to be imvolved, they can throw a small, inexpensive get together to celebrate you, their son, and the pregnancy! If they don't want to, so be it, their loss!
I'm sorry you're dealing with that drama, that's a bit much!!

CMDD · August 2015

ugh baby shower stuff is the worst. I think it's hard when both sides try to work together like that. I think your parents should just go ahead and do whatever they want and risk your inlaws getting upset. It seems like they've done everything they can to be accommodating. Can your husband talk to his parents, or can you?

My MIL is trying to throw a virtual shower out of my house where she and I will be the only ones here and everyone else will Skype in. I think it's terribly awkward and just seems like a way to get gifts instead of celebrate. My family all think its horrendous and have stated that they will not be involved in any way. So... I'm not having a shower unless the whole 'online' thing works out. So I feel ya.

momotheflyinglemur · August 2015

@ketobaby Yes! This!

If your in-laws don't want to be helpful, then they don't need to be a part of it. WTF is he doing googling shit. What works for some people isn't going to work for all. My friends are all young, stuggling "artists" with no coordination skills. If they were responsible for my shower it would never happen. The shower is about who wants to step up and throw it. Our generation is notorious for throwing out tradition, your FiL can suck it up or just suck it. hahaha

ChiccoBeanz · August 2015

Sounds similar to my wedding... no worries. This too shall pass my dear. I'm sure your parents will take care of it and you will have an amazing shower for you and hubby. Kudos to you for not stooping low into the text bs.

MEMichelson · August 2015

my mother in law is hosting a couples shower for my husband and I - I don't really get along with that side of the family and when she said she wanted to throw me a shower I asked it if could be a couples shower. I worded it as - guys get left out of a lot of the baby stuff and I'd really like my husband to be apart of this shower since it's his family wanting to host. She was 100% ok with this and actually loved the idea.

My other shower is being hosted by my sister in law (brothers wife - whom I LOVE) and my best friend.

redfallon · August 2015

For the baby shower I had for DD, my sister and aunt hosted one for my family, and my SIL and MIL hosted for DH's family. Both were very small affairs (less than 10-15 people at either one) and we did one at my aunt's house and the other at MILs house. I was involved in helping out with both. My sister asked the types of things I liked for that one, and I decorated and picked up some decorations for the one at MILs house.

JElizbetty · August 2015

I would just have your parents do a shower for your side and let the other side figure that part out. I think you should be sitting back and relaxing and not even having to worry about who's paying or anything like that. Its unfair your in-laws are being so difficult and making you stress over your own shower. I can't even understand why your FIL would even google something like that, I think its perfectly acceptable for grandparents to want to throw a shower and not tacky at all. My MIL is throwing mine and combining my family with hers, my mom is only helping with funds she said she would take a back seat on this one because I have my daughter who's 9 from a previous relationship so she said she wants to let MIL have the enjoyment of making all the decisions since this is her first grandbaby, which I am fine with either way as long as I don't have to stress that's all I care about.

aed016 · August 2015

I know it's probably on the less than proper side, but my husband and I are actually the ones hosting our shower. My mom died four years ago and ever since, my older sister has taken it upon herself to be an overbearing mother hen (who doesn't actually have any children of her own). She started to step a little (okay a lot) on my toes and thank goodness for supportive husband, said fine--we'll host and if anyone has any issue they can buzz off.
I'm sorry you're dealing with the chaos, we are hosting and still dealing with incredibly rude opinions. These are supposed to be joyous times, why does everyone make it so complex? Luck your way for a calm settle!

lnbk1215 · August 2015

@wealeyB5"Friends of the bride?" I think your father in law is confusing this with a wedding shower. Yikes! That sounds brutal, but everyone's suggestions above make a lot of sense.

Dealing with budget issues is tricky. For my shower, my twin sister is the host (I hosted her baby shower this May!), but my mom, mother-in-law and sister-in-law are helping to plan and pay. However, I'm paying for a decent chunk of it myself. Even though I'm lucky that everyone involved is amazing, I just feel bad expecting it all to fall on them ... especially my in-laws! Also, I think my mom would be even more involved but she lives 4 hours away, so it's just easier for my sister and I to take the reins.

Is anyone else paying for some of all of their own shower?

redfallon · August 2015

lnbk1215 said:

@wealeyB5 "Friends of the bride?" I think your father in law is confusing this with a wedding shower. Yikes! That sounds brutal, but everyone's suggestions above make a lot of sense.

Dealing with budget issues is tricky. For my shower, my twin sister is the host (I hosted her baby shower this May!), but my mom, mother-in-law and sister-in-law are helping to plan and pay. However, I'm paying for a decent chunk of it myself. Even though I'm lucky that everyone involved is amazing, I just feel bad expecting it all to fall on them ... especially my in-laws! Also, I think my mom would be even more involved but she lives 4 hours away, so it's just easier for my sister and I to take the reins.

Is anyone else paying for some of all of their own shower?

That's what I was thinking, too!

seahawksfans · August 2015

So sorry. Usually it is the women in a family causing the issues with weddings and babies but this is nuts. And family usually hosts showers it is totally ok for your family to ask his to pitch in if it is a joint shower. The shower should be about you and your LO and you should NOT have to deal with any guilt trips. You need someone on your family's side to just put their foot down or it may be time for your SO to tell FIL to either start being supportive or let someone the others handle the shower if he can't be nice. Maybe there are other family members on that side willing to help even foot the bill.

weasleyB5 · August 2015

Thanks everyone for the support, the advice, and the laughs!! Haha. It was a super frustrating day but I THINK we are getting it worked out now. My husband definitely let him have it but he is much smarter than I am and ended it in a way that was positive and just moving forward. If it were me responding it would have DRAGGED ON!!

weasleyB5 · August 2015

lnbk1215 said:
@wealeyB5"Friends of the bride?" I think your father in law is confusing this with a wedding shower. Yikes! That sounds brutal, but everyone's suggestions above make a lot of sense.

Dealing with budget issues is tricky. For my shower, my twin sister is the host (I hosted her baby shower this May!), but my mom, mother-in-law and sister-in-law are helping to plan and pay. However, I'm paying for a decent chunk of it myself. Even though I'm lucky that everyone involved is amazing, I just feel bad expecting it all to fall on them ... especially my in-laws! Also, I think my mom would be even more involved but she lives 4 hours away, so it's just easier for my sister and I to take the reins.

Is anyone else paying for some of all of their own shower?

Yes, I also thought that about the bride! I looked it up, though, and apparently "Google" does say it is proper etiquette for a family member NOT to do it. So weird!!

faith12112015 · August 2015

yl1m32015 said:
My mom and mother in law are hosting. What sort of drama is happening and with whom?

Same here.

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