FTM: Not Wanting To Be Pregnant

janellecz · August 2015

Does anyone else not want to be pregnant? I mean, I'm excited to be a mom...I just wish I could skip the pregnancy portion.

I'm 13 weeks today and still nauseous. My nausea has landed me in the hospital twice already. But even the thought of being past the nausea doesn't thrill me. (Though I can't wait to have an appetite again!)

I don't look forward to the attention given at baby showers or as women want to rub my tummy. I don't look forward to waddling around as my stomach grows. And obviously, I dread going into labor. All I look forward to is this pregnancy to be over and the baby to be in my arms.

Am I the only one? And to other experienced moms...are there any joys of pregnancy that I CAN look forward to!

Achae · August 2015

I'm not sure many would say they enjoy being pregnant, although some upsides are supposed to be shinier hair, stronger nails (probably from the vitamins!) and more intense sex!

cMichelle0423 · August 2015

I've never felt like this but I know some friends who have always hated pregnancy. If you don't like the attention of a baby shower, don't have one. In an honestly say I've never had anyone rub my belly, this now being my 3rd pregnancy. I mean my husband has but as far as anyone else goes, they've either never tried it have tried and I tell them no. All I can say though, is be grateful you get to experience this. I know it may seem like it's hard to enjoy, but there's so so many women who would give anything to get pregnant and have a baby, but can't. Not to mention, all the women here who have lost their lo's. Count your blessing and I guess be grateful that pregnancy is only 9 months long.

PedsIsHardcore · August 2015

I am a 2nd time mom and I am ready to just have this bbaby already so I can stop feeling awful. February won't get here soon enough!

cMichelle0423 · August 2015

Achae said:
I'm not sure many would say they enjoy being pregnant, although some upsides are supposed to be shinier hair, stronger nails (probably from the vitamins!) and more intense sex!

I enjoy being pregnant. Even with morning sickness and other crummy symptoms, I love everything about pregnancy.

MamaFroFro · August 2015

There are some good things, like feeling baby move. Right now I'm having a hard time thinking of any more though.

I'm not digging it right now either. But it's temporary and will be over before you know it! Maybe at the end of the day you can try and think of one or two good things you experienced that day. Might start to help improve your outlook

BBEA2006 · August 2015

I know a few people like that so I would say it is fairly common. If you are really that sick, can your OB give you medication or something? Might make it more manageable.

I bet when you start to feel you LO move it may help you feel better about it.

Sorry you are struggling so bad!

BabySeaTurtles · August 2015

I am sorry you're feeling crumby. I am not a pregnancy lover either and this time has been a lot worse than my first time. There are some things to look forward to in pregnancy though. Feeling the baby move is absolutely the most rewarding thing by far. Once you start feeling the stretches, hiccups and rolling around the bonding really begins. (It starts hurting as baby runs out of room but it's still nice to know that baby is alright) And even if you don't have/love your shower, I loved preparing the nursery and shopping for DS after all the gifts had been received. Finishing his room was a major sense of accomplishment. Lastly, I loved hearing/seeing DS on ultrasounds. Actually seeing with your eyes what all the trouble is for is incredibly moving.

rainbowminion · August 2015

If nothing else helps, just keep reminding yourself that this is all temporary. No one is pregnant forever!

krissyandfrank · August 2015

I'm a second time mom and had a dreadful first pregnancy. I hated people touching me and hated how big I got but there are amazing moments. Feeling your baby kick for the first time, finding out the gender, you will feel better in the second trimester and please remember as women we are built for this. Labor isn't lollipops and daffodils but it's all worth it when you get to see that baby and have the first smile .

Twindling · August 2015

After I had my twins I wanted nothing more than to be 7 months pregnant for 3 years straight and THEN have the baby. I love everything about pregnancy.

Until I became pregnant with two toddlers already in tow. It's much less puppies and rainbows this go around however I'm still trying to enjoy it as this will be the only time I don't have to share the baby.

You also may feel differently once the nausea passes and you can feel the baby move

jaimeruns · August 2015

I feel the same way, just because it's so new and uncomfortable! I'm also used to training and racing a lot and being preg makes me so tired and each workout so hard. The hardest thing for me is weight gain and inability to be as active as I was. I really love all the endorphins from endurance exercise but don't get them as much though. Maybe as the pregnancy progresses I'll be happier about it but it is definitely hard now.

Achae · August 2015

I thought of another positive! No awful bleeding every month for a week with intense cramps. My periods were always long and heavy and intense. Breastfeeding even kept them at bay longer

Zepplin1218 · August 2015

Right now it's terrible, I have been puking since the second week even on medication and have passed out, been put on home rest, ect. It's been terrible on my health which of course means I feel gross all the time and basically useless because I have no energy to do anything.

At 14 weeks people keep reminding me it will get better soon and I sincerely hope they do because this is no fun. I just keep reminding myself that sick mom = healthy baby and that helps me through it!

sarame500 · August 2015

I can definitely relate to some of your feelings! During weeks 6 through 10, I wondered what I got myself into. My doctor put me on Diclegis, and it was a lifesaver! I'm at 14 weeks...I still have rough days, but they are few and far between!

minivanmafia · August 2015

Twindling said:

After I had my twins I wanted nothing more than to be 7 months pregnant for 3 years straight and THEN have the baby. I love everything about pregnancy. Until I became pregnant with two toddlers already in tow. It's much less puppies and rainbows this go around however I'm still trying to enjoy it as this will be the only time I don't have to share the baby. You also may feel differently once the nausea passes and you can feel the baby move

THIS except I don't have twin toddlers.. only a 9 and almost 2 year old. I usually love being pregnant but Im already uncomfortable and exhausted. I am trying really hard to enjoy this pregnancy because it WILL be the last and also, I know infertility sucks and I don't want to be that pregnant person complaining all the time... which is what I have been doing. Whoops. Self reflect 101.

AdventureMama · August 2015

Pregnancy sucks. First tri (especially if you're sick!) is the absolute worst. In my experience it does get better! I hope that helps. Second tri feels almost magical because all of the sudden you get your energy back and you hopefully aren't sick anymore.

You don't have to have a baby shower, and I don't think I ever had a random stranger touch my stomach. It's ok to say you don't feel comfortable with that.

There are really amazing things! Feeling your baby move, having an excuse to eat whatever you want (CHRISTMAS COOKIES), and I think pregnant bellies are adorable!

I think it's normal to feel this way but try to stay positive and remember that it's only temporary and sooo worth it!

Monkeybutt80 · August 2015

I hated being pregnant last time, I hate being pregnant this time. I really hate everything about it, not to mention the labor and the subsequent effects from it- I have to focus really hard not to pee when I sneeze, even after 2 yrs. I also found out with ms, that I'll pee myself every single time I throw up.
But it's just something you have to go through to get that reward of having a child. I think it's not abnormal to hate being pregnant. At least there's an end date!

brushesnbrunch · August 2015

@monkeybutt80 YGPM

alikat150 · August 2015

I hate being pregnant so far. I'm a FTM and 12 weeks 3 days with horrible nausea/vomiting that has already lasted 7 weeks. I feel like it will never end! This is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I truly can't wait to meet my baby. I just want it to be February because this growing a person thing is no fun at all. I'm really hoping it will get better in the next few weeks but it feels impossible right now.

lovelydaye · August 2015

I hate being pregnant; both times

but my hair and nails are FABULOUS so there's that...and you get a sweet squishy babe at the end

pima416 · August 2015

this is my rainbow baby after 2 previous losses. I so wanted to be pregnant but I never imagined I would feel so sick all the time. I've had constant nausea since week 5 and I'm 12 weeks now and I feel like it's getting worse. I have absolutely no appetite and don't feel like eating. I've always wanted a larger family, but I have no idea how I'm going to go through this again. I hope I'm able to find some relief soon.

Also, I've been cramping a bunch where it feels like I've been on my period for 3 weeks straight. I never knew about ligament stretching before getting pregnant.

notasycophant · August 2015

On bad days, I just remind myself that it's a FINITE process and that I'm going to meet the love of my life come Feb. It helps me stay positive when the morning sickness gets bad.I had a brief reprieve at weeks 12&13 but it's back full force week 15.

Erinka · August 2015

Yes, agreed. Pregnancy is not very glamorous.

britsknits11 · August 2015

I hated my first pregnancy. It was hard for my body to adjust to change and my emotional state was irrational at best. It never let up either. He tried to come at 32 weeks and I was hospitalized for 3 days. I had terrible contractions my entire last month of pregnancy and had to go to be monitored twice a week at two different offices (one was my midwives and one was for mfm). I was terrified to get pregnant again but this time is different. I'm more stable. My body understands what's happening and my moods are calmer. It's all just a learning process.
I also wanted to chime in about labor DONT BE SCARED! lol I know that's kind of a crazy thing to say but honestly labor and delivery was the best part of my first pregnancy. I think it was because I spent my last trimester really reading up and preparing myself for what to expect. I watched videos of women having med free births which btw is something I would never had done before being pregnant, and told myself it would end. That's the key. It hurts, it sucks and it's scary but there is an end and at that end you get to meet that awesome baby that has been putting you through so much the last nine months. It's all worth it. I promise.

ohbaby714 · August 2015

I had an amazing first pregnancy-high risk, however I felt 100% the entire time. I couldn't wait to get pregnant again and I missed it so much. This pregnancy.. Oh man. I have been absolutely miserable and nauseous 24/7 and completely exhausted. It doesn't help that I have a 14 month old running around like a mad person all day either. I'm just trying to get through first tri and hope things get better. I can wait for the kicks and rolls to come.

PedsIsHardcore · August 2015

I am high risk and my first pregnancy sucked but I didn't have as many issues as I do with this one. I am constantly sick and I'm not gaining weight. Having to be taken to the hospital for the first time in an ambulance last week made it even worse. Everyone tries to be excited for me, but I'm not excited. I'm miserable because of my health issues and seeing the doctors twice a month already, but because of last week now every week. I get no choice over where I deliver. I don't get a choice over a lot. I get it doesn't last forever but its hitting me hard because I can't do what I want to do because of morning sickness/lack of energy/my health. I am sick of being sick and pregnant.

cici613 · August 2015

pima416 said:
this is my rainbow baby after 2 previous losses. I so wanted to be pregnant but I never imagined I would feel so sick all the time. I've had constant nausea since week 5 and I'm 12 weeks now and I feel like it's getting worse. I have absolutely no appetite and don't feel like eating. I've always wanted a larger family, but I have no idea how I'm going to go through this again. I hope I'm able to find some relief soon.

Also, I've been cramping a bunch where it feels like I've been on my period for 3 weeks straight. I never knew about ligament stretching before getting pregnant.

I feel you. I am a FTM and suffered from severe vomiting. I lost 15 pounds in one month and was in hospital twice. I even told my H and my mom that I may not able to go through this. I thought I would have at least two kids before I am pregnant. And I made my H promise me that this will be my first and last baby. I'm 13 weeks 3 days today and a just found something that help with my vomiting, acupuncture. My OB said it is safe and I have been eating and drinking better for two days now and I finally stopped losing weight. Hope this helps.

notasycophant · August 2015

@PedsIsHardcore you sound really ill. Being taken away in an ambulance sounds like a terrible situation. Are your problems all pregnancy related?

Timmysgal02 · August 2015

I agree, I always feel not so glamorous during the first trimester, but once all the yuckiness is gone, and you start feeling that baby move, it all changes, you just got to get around that corner! (at least for me that's been the pattern) I really hope all your yuckiness starts subsiding soon, so you can start feeling normal and getting the pep back in your step!

PedsIsHardcore · August 2015

notasycophant said:
@PedsIsHardcore you sound really ill. Being taken away in an ambulance sounds like a terrible situation. Are your problems all pregnancy related?

Not all of them. I'm a type 1 diabetic and my diabetes is harder to manage since I have become pregnant. My blood sugar got so low last week I should have went into a coma. It's part of being pregnant and diabetic. I cant tell when I have low blood sugar at all. I test my blood sugar often but I can be 37 and feel perfectly fine. Normal is 100 to 80.

Sprinkles07 · August 2015

My pregnancies haven't been too bad but I'm not a fan. No real reason bin guess. Maybe it's just a lot of pressure growing a human trying to eat right for the baby etc. I also don't like the comments and touches from strangers. Esp. In tri 3. Giving birth is daunting and scary to me. I'm always thinking of what could go wrong. I guess a plus to 9 months of pregnancy is time to prepare not just your home but mentally. Newborns are tons of work and they only become more work as they become toddlers exploring the world. It's of course worth it and the love is amazing... I'm just saying its mentally taxing and you need the time to prepare for what's coming!

oxfordlanding · August 2015

If you are worried about giving birth then spiritual midwifery is a good book to read. It is VERY hippy but also a real eye opener. We are constantly told how terrible labor is and hear horror stories but it doesn't necessarily have to be that way. Or the business of being born is interesting too (on YouTube). You may find them reassuring.

janellecz · August 2015

Oh my goodness, thank you all for your kind words. It is such a huge relief to hear that I'm not alone in this. I know morning sickness is normal, but it's just been so bad that I wish I could not be pregnant. And I've felt so guilty for thinking that. Sometimes I already feel like a horrible mom for being so selfish wishing I could give up pregnancy just to eat normal again. But that's all they are...desperate thoughts I wouldn't act on.

I'm just so relieved to hear that I'm not the only one struggling to enjoy "the joys of motherhood" that our society glamorizes. Sure, giving birth is a beautiful blessing...but that doesn't mean it's an enjoyable one in the moment.

yetta1519 · August 2015

It's been awful. Absolutely awful.

Waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel...

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