new teen mom

jess1776 · August 2015

I'm sooo scared! I'm 15 years old and I'll be 16 the end of this year. I'm having a son and his name is Jacob. I'm worried that since I'm so young I won't be able to be as good of a mom as everyone else whos at a normal age for having kids. I live with my boyfriend -the baby's daddy- and he has a great job and makes enough to support us and still have enough for us to have extra money for us to do something. I'm scared I won't be able to handle it all. I'm 31 weeks pregnant and he's coming soon. Does anyone have any helpful advice?

alinic916 · August 2015

I can't imagine what you are going through at such a young age, but I wish you the best! Do you have a good support system? I think that is very important for any of us, but maybe even more so at your age. Just because you are young, doesn't mean you won't be great. Just the fact that you are so worried about being a good mom shows how much you care!

przemosbabe · August 2015

What people seem to forget when teens get pregnant is that they won't be a teen forever! You are the best thing for your baby. Just always remember that and don't let anyone ever convince you of anything else. I can't stand teen pregnancy shaming. You can do it. Many before you have and you will be just fine in the long run.

babybumb1229 · August 2015

I have family members who were teen mom's one was 14 going on 15 when she got pregnant and the other was 15 going on 16 they are both wonderful mothers and have beautiful daughters they gave their all to their daughters to raise them good and I feel if you give your all to your son you would be great:)

Knottie59387608 · August 2015

It sounds like you really care, I believe you can do it and be great! If I have any advice for you though it's STAY IN SCHOOL! I've had a good few friends who got pregnant your age and decided to drop out of school. I still hear from them all the time and they always talk about the way they let their child down the most was quitting school because they didn't think they could handle both. Because unfortunately now, it's much harder to go back and get it all done than it would have been to just push themselves through all the sleepy school days with a baby. I really think you will be a great mother, you just have to remember everything you do now will effect your son. You got this, mama!

Edit: also if you'd like to stay at home with baby, online schools like k-12 are great!

babymazzei · August 2015

While you may be younger than a lot of us, many of us are new to motherhood too! We're just as inexperienced when it comes to babies are you are! All of us first time moms are going through the same fears as you are. Sure, you're going to have some different obstacles as the rest of us but I can promise that you are no more less "ready" than any other new mom. Some of us might be in a better financial place, or a more "normal" period in our lives to be having babies, but the fact that you might not be doesn't make you any less of a mom.

It sounds like you have a very supportive significant other and hopefully supportive friends and family as well. These fears are totally normal and reaching out for advice already shows what a great mom you'll be. Stay strong!!

ameares721 · August 2015

My mom had me when she was 16. She had lots of family support and was able to finish high school. On the other hand, you're already doing better because she didn't tell anyone she was pregnant and had me at home, alone. Like, literally pulled me from her body by herself and my grandma came home from work to find me still attached by the umbilical cord and screaming. I don't recommend that method!

naka92 · August 2015

Honey, age is just a number. There's new moms in their 40's that have no idea what theyre doing, too! Every single one of us went into this journey called motherhood knowing next to nothing. It's scary for all of us, regardless of age. Try to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. You obviously care deeply or youd not be so concerned, so just from that alone, I know you'll do great. Yeah babies need the basic things like food and shelter, but they also need a lot of love most of all.

gabrielafrnqyepez · August 2015

like pp have said stay in school and be strong....won't lie it won't be easy but you can handle it and you will make it... use the support that you do have to it's fullest ! good luck!

batmom05 · August 2015

I have been where you are and I can completely understand how terrifying and overwhelming it is. I was 17 (and still in high school) when I got pregnant with my oldest son and I was just barely 18 when I gave birth to him.

It is terrifying to have to go through all of this at such a young age, but you CAN do it. The best thing you can do for yourself and your baby is to get yourself a good education and continue it after high school. It will be incredibly hard and there will be plenty of times where you want to throw in the towel, but it can definitely be done!

I also suggest establishing yourself a good support system.Do you have family that you can talk to? Do you have anyone in your area that is willing to help? That is going to be crucial. There are a lot of groups through some of your local state agencies that will put you in touch with other teen moms and former teen moms that can offer you some solid advice.

My best suggestion is to figure out what you want out of life and break it down to individual tasks. From there, figure out what you need to do to achieve each individual goal and work on it in pieces.

It's not going to be easy and there are going to be plenty of times where you question yourself, but you sound like you want to give your little one a good life. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me - I'll be happy to chat more!

Best of luck, mama!

intheversa · August 2015

Agreeing with everyone here. Don't give up on school and don't be afraid to ask questions or reach out to people to help you. I think you two have a good plan going so don't give up when it gets hard. You can do this! I'm a FTM and I'm almost 30. I'm not even 100% sure how to swaddle or change a diaper yet, but I'll figure it all out and so will you. It's a learning process, and no parent is perfect. We all just do the best we can.

flerbnerbin · August 2015

All I gotta say is don't let anyone put negative thoughts in your head. If you start believing them, everything gets so much harder. Take care of yourself and your family, and everyone else needs to come second. Also, ask for help when you need it. You deserve support just like everyone else. Don't see yourself as less than anyone because of any reason. Your baby needs you to have confidence in yourself.

michellelynn6 · August 2015

My husband is a teacher at an alternative school that accepts mostly young teen moms. Trust me, there are lots of girls in your position, some with not-so-supportive boyfriends. I'm a FTM and I feel overwhelmed sometimes, but I can't imagine being in your shoes. That being said, how good of a mom you are is a choice. You can choose to dedicate your life to your baby and make them as good of a life as you possibly can. You can do that by never giving up on yourself!! You are valid and important and you can acheive anything you put your mind to!

As everyone has said, STAY IN SCHOOL! Work hard, get your diploma, and if you can afford it afterwards, take classes at a community college for at least an associates (you can always transfer to a four-year college to get a bachelors later). If you choose a major with an apprentice program, you can often get a job immediately with higher pay and better benefits.Many community colleges also have resources for young moms and children, including daycare.

What is your support system like? Do you have friends or family who can help you with the baby or babysit while you are in school? Or will you need daycare? There are usually lots of local resources for teen moms to find babysitters or daycare if they need them, educational support, resources for medical care, etc.

I highly recommend taking birth classes and childcare classes now and when the baby is young. If you're in the U.S., you should be able to apply for WIC and other benefits to help with the financial cost of the baby, and even though your boyfriend has a good job, definitely look into them!

As I mentioned, my husband is an alternative high school teacher. If there is an alternative high school in your area, look into your options for attending there; they often have more flexible schedules or fast tracked classes to get you to graduation quicker. They also often have life skills classes for things like paying bills, managing bank accounts, saving for college or emergencies (which really are valuable for everyone! I wish I'd gotten life skills classes in high school!)

There are lots of resources out there. Take advantage of them! You can do it!

rm0nique · August 2015

As long as your child is your priority everything will work out. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my first luckily I finished school before he was born, but that's my number one piece of advice. Finish school anyway that you can even though it may be hard it can be done. You can and I'm sure will be as good a mother as anyone else, your age doesn't affect that!

stephiesheldork · August 2015

I'm not a teenager, but I'm not far from it. I conceived at 19, I'm 20 now. I constantly feel like I'm too young for all of this. All I can say is that you need to make sure that your LO always comes first. And I don't know how supportive your parents are, but my mom has been my rock. It's hard to think that you can take care of a baby when you still feel like a baby yourself, but you can! And asking for help doesn't make you a child or any less of a mother, it means you are wise enough to know when you're in over your head. You'll be a great mom.

leighann1 · August 2015

Talk to your high school counselor or a trusted teacher! Many schools have resources and supports they can provide to you.

MrsFaust1432 · August 2015

I had a wonderful sweet student last year who has a baby over thanksgiving break. Before she left to have the baby she was a very good student and was even awarded student of the week. I was worried her grades might drop after she had her son, but she did a wonderful job juggling all the responsibilities of motherhood including a part time job. She had all A's and B's for the whole year!

Just wanted to share so that you know it can be done. Surround yourself with a good support system and stay caught up in school so you have plenty of time for that little one when you get home. BUT also don't be afraid to ask for help and enjoy some of the things that high school and your adolescence has to offer. Just make sure that you finish school like everyone else has said. The life you can give your little boy with that diploma in hand is wide open.

lilmagic00 · August 2015

I admire your strength and honesty as a teen mom. I agree with what everyone stated in this thread. Stay in school, don't give up and take advantage of ALL the RESOURCES you can get your hands on. I have faith you will be a dynamic mother. Best of luck to you and may good bless and direct your path as you go through the journey of MOTHERHOOD!!!

beckles112 · August 2015

I think the moms in here have given you some excellent advice! I would sound like a broken record chiming in now! I do want to encourage you to stay in school, though. There was a girl at my high school last year who had a baby. The school and the teachers worked wonderfully with her. She did a home bound program and all her teachers sent home her work. One or two days a week she would come to the school and one of the teachers would sit with her and explain the lessons to make sure she stayed caught up. Speak with your counselor and ask if this may be an option while you're on your maternity leave. Good luck mama! I'm sure you're going to be a great mother!

Rikki_5 · August 2015

You are lucky the baby's father is supportive. You will do great. All moms worry, no matter what the age! I'm 38 years old and this is my first baby and I have similar thoughts! I think the main thing at your age is not to lose your own dreams and goals. Once baby is a bit older find something that you want to do in life to support yourself so you won't have to depend on someone and work towards that goal. It will probably be hard for you missing out on some of the usual teenage activities you will have to grow up faster than others your age. but you can still have fun and enjoy your youth. The main thing is to believe in yourself and seek support from your boyfriend, family, and friends.

LenexaMama · August 2015

I'm pregnant with my 2nd child, now at 34yrs old. But I got pregnant with my 1st when I was 16, gave birth at 17. The kids will be almost 17 years apart. When I got pregnant so young, I was scared $h*+less! I had no idea what the future held for us. It's been a long road for our family but we made it work. We married when our son was 3 & celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary earlier this year. Been together a total of 19 years. We had many, many, ups & downs. We basically grew up together. Made many mistakes, learned life lessons, and always kept our son as priority #1! Our son is now a Junior in HS & will be going to college soon! My best advice is to always put your child 1st. It helps keep your priorities in line! My 2nd thing, use birth control! Not kidding! I was 1 of many who got pregnant young but I only had 1. I had friends who kept on having kids & I watched them struggle so much! 3rd - watch your spending.

It's hard when you're young, but the good thing is you probably don't have any/much debt. Don't get yourself in trouble with debt. Or with having too many kids too quickly! Save! Save! Save! We didn't go out partying all of the time, when most young people did. It was kind of boring & I felt left out but I look at our life now, and I'm so glad! We have a beautiful home, working cars, we don't live paycheck to paycheck.... Something that may not have been an option if we lived above our means or blew money when we were younger. I hope it works out for you guys! I think it can be harder to be partners for the entire time when you're that young - harder than it is to be a mother. Once you meet your child, you'll see there's nothing you wouldn't do to keep them healthy & happy! You are your child's advocate. Do what's best for them & you'll do great!

clairesmommabear · August 2015

My best advice is to not be afraid to ask friends and family for help. Lots of first time moms try to do everything and be 'super mom' because they feel like they aren't doing well if they don't. (I am guilty of this.) Everyone needs help at some point so never be afraid to ask!

You are so brave for doing this. I am proud of you, and know that you will be just fine. Your little one is lucky to have a mother like you!

1stComesLove421 · August 2015

Every new mother no matter what age has that fear and doubt. You'll do great, you already naturally care! It won't be easy right away taking care of a newborn, it's not easy for any of us. But with enough help and support you'll make it and be just fine!

jasmine19312 · August 2015

I feel you girl! I'm 16 years old and don't turn 17 till next year. I also live with my baby's daddy who supports me SO much. We've been together 3 years as of next February and I'm so blessed I have such an amazing support system, not only from him but from family as well. I am homeschooled and should be graduating before my son gets here. I know you can do it! We can beat the "teen mom" stereotype. We are moms now and are just as capable as a mother who is 25 or 35. We are just younger than most but that doesn't mean we will love our child any less. I'm here if you need to talk.

dchiapella · August 2015

You can do it! Just breath. One of my family friends had her first when she was 15/16 and everyone was so scared for her at that time... 12 years later her son is the happiest, sweetest kid in the world, she's married to his father, they have a 2nd munchkin and a 3rd on the way. Everything people said WOULDN'T happen... If there's negativity in your life, just prove 'em all wrong. It sounds like your financially stable which is more than most adults can say. And you're questioning your ability which just shows how much you love your little baby. No one is prepared to be a parent, no matter their age. Just follow your instincts and breath.

threexmama · August 2015

I myself had my first child around your age, I was pregnant at 16 and had him at 17. I am now 30, my son is 13. I'm not going to pretend that it was easy at that age but I will say every sacrifice, every tear, every new lesson learned was worth it. My faith in the Lord kept me strong throughout the years and I encourage yours to do the same. It gets easier and one day you'll look back an incredibly proud mother. Just don't give in to the peer pressures you can find yourself in at the age. Having a child young forces you to grow up quickly, embrace it, don't fight it. You're in my prayers ...

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