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September 2015 Moms
Boobopgirl
member
Does life ever get less crazy???
Boobopgirl
member
So...this is a combination vent/rant and a what on earth do I do post.
My brother is going through a really rocky divorce. His wife is making it as hard as possible for him to see their kid. He is living with my parents until such a time as he can separate their finances, figure out support and find his own place. But my MOM is driving me NUTS! Every time I go over there it's like "don't say this. don't do that It might upset him that your daughter is here since he hasn't seen his son" Blah blah blah. I'm waiting to hear her say "don't come over it upsets your brother too much."
Anyway, my mom was supposed to be the one who takes DD while we are in labor, but she's now saying "It depends what's going on with your brother." And I ummm....can't really....SOMEONE has to take DD. And my in-laws are out since they will then know that I am in labor and hover around the entire time. So who do I call?
Ever since my brother met this girl, things have been a mess and she purposely makes drama at the most awkward times (e.g. they ELOPED the morning of my bridal shower and showed up and announced they were married, she also made huge drama right before our wedding that had nothing to do with me that somehow caused huge drama for me anyway, my mom couldn't throw me a baby shower because she had thrown HER a baby shower and was sick of parties etc etc etc.) I just wish she'd nevr come into our family's lives.
My brother is going through a really rocky divorce. His wife is making it as hard as possible for him to see their kid. He is living with my parents until such a time as he can separate their finances, figure out support and find his own place. But my MOM is driving me NUTS! Every time I go over there it's like "don't say this. don't do that It might upset him that your daughter is here since he hasn't seen his son" Blah blah blah. I'm waiting to hear her say "don't come over it upsets your brother too much."
Anyway, my mom was supposed to be the one who takes DD while we are in labor, but she's now saying "It depends what's going on with your brother." And I ummm....can't really....SOMEONE has to take DD. And my in-laws are out since they will then know that I am in labor and hover around the entire time. So who do I call?
Ever since my brother met this girl, things have been a mess and she purposely makes drama at the most awkward times (e.g. they ELOPED the morning of my bridal shower and showed up and announced they were married, she also made huge drama right before our wedding that had nothing to do with me that somehow caused huge drama for me anyway, my mom couldn't throw me a baby shower because she had thrown HER a baby shower and was sick of parties etc etc etc.) I just wish she'd nevr come into our family's lives.
Re: Does life ever get less crazy???
*hugs*
If I were you, I'd put my foot down and just very sternly tell my mom that having someone I TRUST and can count on to watch my child while I give birth to another is important. Maybe talk to your brother - I'm guessing he's not as fragile as your mom makes out. My BIL's crazy ran off two states away with their kids earlier this summer (they've since reconciled), but he treasured spending time with our 4-year-old while his kids were gone. He said it made him miss his kids less.
I'd talk straight up to your brother and then your mom. If it will upset your brother so .much, maybe she can watch your daughter at your house while you're in the hospital?
Check out Al-anon or a similar support group for her. It's associated with AA, but is a good resource for any type of co-dependent.
Hang in there and good luck!!
I mean, my mom has issues. I went for a WALK when I was 21 years old and she flipped out because she couldn't find me and called the POLICE and sent my dad out looking for me. Or she yelled at the lady I was babysitting for ACROSS THE STREET from our house for keeping me out too late. Or my bro and I wanted to go ice skating one time (as adults) and she made my dad take us because of "all the drunks on the roads on a Friday night" (note: my dad WAS one of said drunks) So I mean, yeah she coddles and doesn't like to let go and my brother being the baby is more than happy to let her. And when SIL says my brother is unstable, my mom is only too happy to take that as her excuse for more coddling even though we know SIL is making all of this up to try and get him declared unfit.