for mothers who used to or currently smoke (non-judgement please!)

emccaulley · August 2015

Hello, i quit smoking about a few weeks after i found out i was pregnant and i think i just wasnt ready to rid the habit. im at 28 weeks so its been a while, but every time i smell one from someone passing by, i practically want to yank it out of their hand and finish it for them.. i feel pathetic, but is it bad to give in on occasion? i know my baby is worth not doing so, but i cant help the fact that i want one.. opinions (preferably not from a harsh or judgemental standpoint, please be kind)

LiveNLove44 · August 2015

emccaulley said:

Hello, i quit smoking about a few weeks after i found out i was pregnant and i think i just wasnt ready to rid the habit. im at 28 weeks so its been a while, but every time i smell one from someone passing by, i practically want to yank it out of their hand and finish it for them.. i feel pathetic, but is it bad to give in on occasion? i know my baby is worth not doing so, but i cant help the fact that i want one.. opinions (preferably not from a harsh or judgemental standpoint, please be kind)

I will give you my reaction based on the three highlighted passages (in order).

First, I think you might believe that some people who successfully quit were "ready" or it was "the right time" for them, but I don't believe that is reality. You quit smoking, and you have triggers that make you want it some times more than other times. I think that's perfectly normal and doesn't mean that you weren't "ready to rid the habit." Try not to use that as a mantra for why you should start smoking again just so you can wait for the right time to quit. I don't think it'll come.

Second, regarding your comment, "...but is it bad to give in on occasion?" This seems to be your primary question here, but I'm not sure you're going to get the answers you're looking for because it is phrased in a way that implies you either want validation or for people to remind you of why you quit. It's fairly unclear. To be honest, it seems a bit like you're hoping for validation so you can feel better having one occasionally (no judgment, just observable in text).

Third, I think you've done a great job so far, so why not keep it up? Your last passage states that you "can't help the fact that you want one" but you can. And you did. You're right that you can't totally eradicate that trigger, but you can focus on redirection and distraction techniques to support your quitting.

I hope you find the answers you're truly looking for, and I hope they support a healthy lifestyle of which you can be proud to share with your new LO!

Mommajones0315 · August 2015

I feel your pain. I want to strangle dh everytime I smell smoke on him. And I have fantasies about tackling someone for a smoke. But stay strong and resist the urge for your lo health it's much more important than the 5 minutes of gratification we get from a cigarette. And I am 100000% on NOT starting back after dd gets here. I've made it 26 weeks so far day by day. you can do this stay strong for your lo

morganabyrd · August 2015

While a smoke here and there wouldn't necessarily hurt your baby, I'm the type to ask why risk it? Why risk you triggering more cravings? If you can quit for 8-9 months, why pick it back up when baby is born? What will you gain overall by doing so? Think about why you quit in the first place

You can't help the fact that you want one, but you can help the fact that you don't give in. Notice how your cravings have gotten fewer and farther between, since you quit? It can only get easier at this point. Don't give in!!

I quit smoking early in my pregnancy, and I know how hard it is. Part of me can't wait to have a cigarette with a drink once baby in born, but I think it's a slippery slope that I don't want to go down again, only to quit again in a few years with another pregnancy. Besides, I've grown to like standing close to people and not fearing my smell offending them, and I don't miss out on conversations now by stepping outside. I also have more money and I would never want my kiddo to be the one that smells like smoke, much less has health problems because of 2nd and 3rd hand smoke. There are tons of other reasons, too - breastfeeding, your own health, etc. Power through the cravings and stick with it, mama!

mandy903 · August 2015

As a former smoker I know there is no such thing as giving in every now and then. It is simply sugar coating that you are starting to smoke again.

Will it kill you or baby to smoke a few cigarettes here and there? Probably not but is that a risk you want to take? I quit bc if something were to happen to my baby I would assume it was bc I smoked and put her at risk and it is not worth it to me.

I want to live a long time and be healthy for me and my kids. While I do sometimes get the urge I never allow myself to flirty with the idea of smoking. My automatic answer is hell no you ain't doing that.

I hope you can find the strength and will to stay away from smoking! It does damage even in small doses.

BabyG1010 · August 2015

I say keep off the smokes. Having one will just make you want another. I quit just before finding out I was pregnant. I've definitely had my moments of wanting to have a smoke but they pass quickly. Not being able to drink, and knowing there is a little one in there I need to look after has certainly made not wanting a smoke easier.
It's never going to be easy to quit, so take advantage of this amazing opportunity to kick it

emccaulley · August 2015

thank you all. i think i just felt really pathetic or bad and as much as i do want a cigarette, i dont for my baby's sake. it has just recently been a struggle and i wasnt really sure what triggered it, but thank you guys for the positivity and encouragement!

FrozenMommy · August 2015

So I quit with my first pregnancy, just over 5 years ago now. And now, I want to vomit when I smell smoke. My stupid husband continues to have one here and there, and it's just disgusting smelling it on him. So I assure you, it will get easier to resist those cravings. I don't even crave them at all anymore. Booze, that's a different story lol.

babygirl536 · August 2015

its ok to feel bad - i smoked a pack a day for almost 16 yrs, smoked through my first pregnancy with my son 8 years ago, and smoked 3 months into this pregnancy. i didnt think i'd ever quit.

but i did. somehow. doesnt mean i dont wanna run up to someone and take their cigs either LOL - i still love the smell and yes i still want one all the time.

i'd agree with everyone else, why take the chance of fully starting again? just lay off - give yourself the rest of your pregnancy. we believe in ya

jsliko · August 2015

You are not the first former smoker with cravings - hang in there! When a craving gets bad, drink a glass of water, chew some gum, or pop a mint. Like other pp, I suggest not giving into the cravings.... Really it just makes the next craving worse. You can do it!!

tate62610 · August 2015

You're definitely not alone. Just think about how you'll feel afterwards. Guilty, right? It's not worth it. That's how I deal with my cravings.

Krysta6 · August 2015

You can do this! Smoking was one of the hardest things to give up! Even now (6+ years later) I still sometimes think a cigarette smells really good. But remember you have a choice today. Once I smoke a cigarette I lose my choice as cigarettes for me are an addiction not something I can take or leave.

amberrmariee20 · August 2015

I quit smoking in February when I found out I was pregnant, it was rough, I still think about it the odd time, but I'm actually repelled by the smell, unless I'm there when someone first lights it, then I want it... But I wouldn't give in, because once you have one, you'll want more and more and more !! Just walk away and you'll get stronger for avoiding them day after day !

Edit because words are so difficult !

kirsty100 · August 2015

Honestly I quit when found out I was pregnant and didn't want to I put on bit of weight from quitting, I won't lie I've had some really stressful times with my mil during my pregnancy and I have had a couple here and there, I feel terrible afterwards but I know now I won't smoke anymore because I eliminated the stress and I just stay away from smokers well try to. My boyfriend still smokes he's trying to quit which does make it hard for me but I just stay inside away from it so I'm not tempted

stephiesheldork · August 2015

Absolutely no judgement here. To be completely honest, I quit smoking the weekend before I started the second trimester. I had kept telling myself "I'll just cut down for a few days and THEN quit for too long. I wanted to prove something to myself. I made it about 4 days before I needed something. (With advice I got from a doctor friend of mine) I decided to look into vapes. My friend had told me that the problem with vapor is that you don't know what's in it. I found a vape store that makes their own flavors and has the ingredients listed on the bottles of liquid. Just flavoring, a sweetener, and nicotine. I started at nic lvl 18 and each week went down a level. 18-12, 12-6, 6-0. Now whenever I have a craving I puff on 0 nicotine fruity vapor until I stop thinking about it. But beware, not ALL liquids only have three ingredients. Make sure to ask if it's not listed on the bottle. Hope this helps!

stephiesheldork · August 2015

Just to add to that, even if you don't cut down the nicotine level, it's still SO MUCH SAFER for you and baby than cigarettes.

amberrmariee20 · August 2015

@stephiesheldork I agree, the vapes aren't recommended during pregnancy. I was told to avoid those, my doctor recommended the Nicorette patch, and I did lovely with it.

gabrielafrnqyepez · August 2015

hey momma just here to give you support....i think if you managed to stay off them this long keep going a little more take it day by day .... also there was a study done that said that if you also breastfeed you are much more likely to completely kick the habit then if you dont... just throwing that in for thought ....so far you have managed to get a good percentage of your lung function back... i too was a smoker i quit 2 yrs ago for one of my kids bday and it was very hard at first, i wanted a cigg sometimes but i just reminded myself that i needed to be healthy and my children would need me healthy, this specially kicked in when DH and i were TTC. stay strong i know you can do it!

candicequeen · August 2015

This is hard I hear you! I want to tackle people and smoke their cigs all the time! I had hypnotherapy to help me quit back when I found out I was pregnant. She told me that I wasn't doing this for the baby, the baby was doing it for me. She was right. I wouldve smoked until it killed me otherwise. One more time is a slippery slope to letting the addiction win. Every time you resist the urge is a small victory. To answer your real question, I'll just say it. No, you cannot have just one more puff, one more cig, one more pack. Its not only harmful to your baby, its most harmful to you and your ability to live a full life free of this addiction. You can do this. I can do this. We can all do this. Stay strong sister.

Gingerella8 · August 2015

I totally understand! I quit a week after I found out I was pregnant. I always thought I would quit when we were expecting , but didn't realize how much I would still want to smoke ALL THE TIME. Even now that I haven't smoked in over 6 months .

A friend gave me the best advice . If you start again , or even just smoke one you will have to start the quitting process all over again and have come all this way for nothing! I run this through my mind every time I have a craving

kaza512 · August 2015

I am a certified smoking cessation counselor and while a cig here or there wouldn't really be too harmful to the baby, what it will do is derail all the tremendous effort you put into quitting in the first place. Unfortunately, we tend to have an all or nothing mentality when it comes to these addictions (and nicotine is one of THE most addictive drugs there are... more so than heroin, but just not as dangerous of a mode). Once you restart the pleasure feed to the receptors in the brain, it is like you haven't quite at all. When those cravings pop up, think about the tricks you used when you were quitting and try to use them and remember that generally cravings last for around 20 minutes or so, so find a way to distract yourself for that time period and then check back with how you are feeling.

While vaping is the new thing, and cigarettes are definitely not the healthiest, the most dangerous part of a cigarette in pregnancy is the nicotine. So unless your e-cig is nicotine free, it isn't any better.

mightyk23 · August 2015

I know that this post is about smoking cigarettes, but while I didn't smoke cigs I was a pretty regular pot smoker. And it wasn't just for fun although I admit sometimes it was. But I used it as a way to cope with my anxiety and depression and when I found out I was pregnant I thought I could give it up. And I did for a while, but then the anxiety and depression got worse with the hormones and I was constantly sick unable to go to school or work. So, I started again. But in glad to day that I have been clean since the middle of my 2nd trimester and I'm so glad that my lo is ok. I feel like a terrible mother and I know I won't ever do it again while pregnant or on the same area as my baby. The risks are too high. Especially bc doctors can't test for cigarettes or alcohol but they do test for other drugs in the babies and mothers. Anyway. Please don't judge. I just needed to get that off my chest. Not many people I can talk to it about.

kaza512 · August 2015

@mightyk23 Take a little comfort in knowing that medically speaking marijuana doesn't really cause any harm to babies. (and believe me there has been lots of research trying to show that it does, but without much feedback) Cigarettes/nicotine are honestly worse and alcohol has the potential to do the most long term damage (more than Percocet, heroin, crack, etc). But you are right, depending on where you live, marijuana creates a world of social consequences and drug testing can detect the drug, so it is just best to abstain. If the anxiety and depression are getting really bad, I recommend you talk to someone. And even if the mj worked to relieve symptoms, if you needed to smoke a lot, then the anxiety and depression really should be evaluated. There are medications that you can take to help while pregnant.

mightyk23 · August 2015

@kaza512 thanks for the support. And I do know that I prob should talk to experts about the anxiety and depression I just really dislike prescription drugs and I feel that mj is a much more natural approach without any side affects besides possible jail time and now my child's well being. I'm hoping one day that it'll be legal where I am so that I can live without fear and not have to go to the doctor to be medicated with drugs that have side effects that typically worsen the thing they are meant to treat.

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