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I'm over 5 months pregnant and stressed, would this affect my baby

sabah1234sabah1234 member
edited August 2015 in December 2015 Moms
my husband doesn't understand what I'm going through, I cook n clean for my in laws my feet swell up because of all the parties my mother in law has.. I do everything to please them.. I try really hard
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Re: I'm over 5 months pregnant and stressed, would this affect my baby

  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    :( but all they say is I'm just pregnant you ain't ill. So please don't do acting.. I want to sleep but till late is that a crime.. I should be awake at 8 to prepare food n clean.. Since I've been pregnant my husband ain't happy.. This marriage was a love marriage.. We've known each other since uni.. but for the past 1 years he says he was forced to marry me.. I said divorce me if you want but he doesn't.. I've had it with MIL they think I put his son down when day and night he talks about dead people in my family (rip dad) it breaks my heart, it breaks me from the inside.. I can't stop crying n I just think what can I do to make them happy.. I'm not a robot I have feelings but in laws and husband says keep my mouth shut at all times.. I just want to know one thing WILL THIS EFFECT MY BABY?? It's my first I'm so worried so worried May god be with me n my baby.. I don't care about anyone not even myself just my baby.. How would I know if the baby is ok
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  • BostonBaby1BostonBaby1 member
    sabah1234 said:

    my husband doesn't understand what I'm going through, I cook n clean for my in laws my feet swell up because of all the parties my mother in law has.. I do everything to please them.. I try really hard

    sabah1234 said:

    :( but all they say is I'm just pregnant you ain't ill. So please don't do acting.. I want to sleep but till late is that a crime.. I should be awake at 8 to prepare food n clean.. Since I've been pregnant my husband ain't happy.. This marriage was a love marriage.. We've known each other since uni.. but for the past 1 years he says he was forced to marry me.. I said divorce me if you want but he doesn't.. I've had it with MIL they think I put his son down when day and night he talks about dead people in my family (rip dad) it breaks my heart, it breaks me from the inside.. I can't stop crying n I just think what can I do to make them happy.. I'm not a robot I have feelings but in laws and husband says keep my mouth shut at all times.. I just want to know one thing WILL THIS EFFECT MY BABY?? It's my first I'm so worried so worried May god be with me n my baby.. I don't care about anyone not even myself just my baby.. How would I know if the baby is ok

    Are you getting prenatal care?
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    Hi,
    Your entire message is really hard to read. You need to do some research because stress isn't great for your baby but I don't think it's extremely detrimental. How would you know if your baby is ok? Talk to your doctor maybe? Have to had your anatomy scan? That should have given you piece of mind. I really don't know what to say to you. Maybe you can explain a bit more or maybe just talk to someone.
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  • hplunkett2883hplunkett2883 member
    Hmmmmm I could say a whole lot here but since I don't know your whole story I will hold my tongue... a little. If this is the way your relationship is with your husband and his family all the time... it doesn't sound like the type of family I'd want to be around pregnant or not. Stress can be harmful to you and your baby. You should check with your ob. And what pp said... have you had your anatomy scan yet? Do you feel the baby move yet? Have you talked to your OB about any of this? I hope you find resolution to your situation and it's the best outcome for you and baby.
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  • hplunkett2883hplunkett2883 member
    Hmmmmm I could say a whole lot here but since I don't know your whole story I will hold my tongue... a little. If this is the way your relationship is with your husband and his family all the time... it doesn't sound like the type of family I'd want to be around pregnant or not. Stress can be harmful to you and your baby. You should check with your ob. And what pp said... have you had your anatomy scan yet? Do you feel the baby move yet? Have you talked to your OB about any of this? I hope you find resolution to your situation and it's the best outcome for you and baby.
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  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    No, no prenatal care I just don
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  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    I just don't know what to do to make them happy
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  • hplunkett2883hplunkett2883 member
    Is there a reason why you are not getting prenatal care?
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  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    My antamony scan is next week
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  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    I don't speak to my midwife openly coz my husband is always there
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  • BostonBaby1BostonBaby1 member
    sabah1234 said:

    No, no prenatal care I just don

    sabah1234 said:

    I just don't know what to do to make them happy

    sabah1234 said:

    My antamony scan is next week

    I think that you should try to go back for your scan by yourself and have a discussion with the doctor. Will you be by yourself during the scan? Otherwise, I suggest that you slip a note to the receptionist asking that they ask you to come back without your husband (at least at first.) You should definitely talk to a professional about your situation.

    Is there a reason that you haven't had any prenatal care as of yet?
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  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    I've not heard of prenatal care at all il do some research now
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  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    In England we have check up but it's not often
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  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    I've had only one scan when I was 16 weeks n that's it..
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  • hplunkett2883hplunkett2883 member
    edited August 2015
    People can't make other people happy. They are either happy or not. Happiness is a choice really. You can choose to be happy with someone or you can choose to criticize and put them down no matter how hard they try and please you. I just don't think this type of relationship is very healthy. You have to decide if you and your baby's happiness is more important than your husband and his mother's then go from there. It sounds to me that you are not even considering yourself or your child and putting them ahead of you both. Is this something you want to continue throughout you life or worse yet your childs?

    ETA words
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  • hplunkett2883hplunkett2883 member
    Prenatal care in the US is just being seen by a doctor or midwife and having check ups throughout your pregnancy. Sounds like you are getting it.
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  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    All I wanted was to be happy ..since we've moved to his mums my life has gone upside down
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  • Peanut1128Peanut1128 member
    I'm sorry that you are suffering. Do you have any family or friends that you could reach out to? Maybe take some time away from your home situation and stay with them? Stress is not good for anyone, pregnant or not and things will likely be more stressful when baby arrives.
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  • yl1m32015yl1m32015 member
    Do you live with your in laws? I don't think I'm quite understanding the situation. Im sorry you're dealing with all this and sorry your husband is being like that. If you live with your in laws, I think step 1 is that you and Dh need to find your own place, otherwise, I can't understand why you're letting them be so involved in your life and why you're working so hard to please them.
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    yl1m32015 said:

    Do you live with your in laws? I don't think I'm quite understanding the situation. Im sorry you're dealing with all this and sorry your husband is being like that. If you live with your in laws, I think step 1 is that you and Dh need to find your own place, otherwise, I can't understand why you're letting them be so involved in your life and why you're working so hard to please them.

    Agreed, we need more of the story.
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  • grkgdss00grkgdss00 member
    It sounds like you are a slave to them? Why do you have to do all the work around the house? Since your marriage was originally built on love, can you and your husband move out? Since it sounds like the living situation is what is stressing you out. Your husband should care about your health and happiness.
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  • BostonBaby1BostonBaby1 member
    sabah1234 said:

    I've not heard of prenatal care at all il do some research now

    sabah1234 said:

    In England we have check up but it's not often

    In the UK, it is called antenatal care.
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  • ColoradoHikerColoradoHiker member
    As a side note, I read a post earlier where a UK bumpie said normal pregnancies don't have very many early pregnancy appts, at least not like in the US.
    DS1: Born 11.18.15
    DS2: EDD- 09.08.17

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
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  • marikadeviennemarikadevienne member
    I am not religious at all, but do you have a church, temple or mosque with people you trust that you can talk to about all this? I think stress is bad for you and your baby and you need support.
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  • nik6499nik6499 member
    You can ask your midwife to check your cervix and ask your husband to step out while she does it and give yourself time to speak alone.
    BabyFetus Ticker

    DD May 2005 MC Nov. 2012
    MC Aug. 2014
    Chemical Feb. 2015
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  • sabah1234sabah1234 member
    Thankyou everyone xx
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  • dec15mumdec15mum member
    Have you got an antenatal book? I'm from Scotland so i don't know if its the same down south, but since the midwife looks through it you could possibly put a note in it asking if she could ask the husband to step outside while she does some routine tests or something?
    Then just openly talk to your midwife they are there to help.
    Or even pop into the center when your husband is working so he won't know?
    I hope things work out for you, the way you're being treated doesnt sound fair
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