I just want to scream!

nikiaPSU · August 2015

I'm sorry this is long but I really need to vent somewhere. I'm so tired physically, emotionally, and mentally. My DS is 7 weeks and only sleeps (maybe) 3 hours the first &/or second round at night. The rest is 45 minutes to an hour and a half. And it seems like once the sun is up he won't go back in the pack and play napper. During the day he'll fall asleep while eating (breastfeeding) but I put him the napper or swing/bouncer and he's screaming in less than 5 minutes. I try swaddling him, putting a warm rice pack with him, but he'll only sleep about an hour once he's very exhausted. His screaming kills me. His little tears, crying so hard he doesn't breathe, the coughing when I do get to him, all kill me. Most times I give in and just stay on the couch so he can get some sleep. This has effected my eating, sleeping, household upkeep, etc. His dad has only been home with me off and on. I'll save my growing anger and resentment for him and extreme decline of our relationship for another day. Add on the anxiety of going back to work soon, how is a daycare going to care for him? I don't know what to do anymore and I'm going insane. If you've gotten this far thanks for doing so. And if you have advice that would be a cherry on top.

cmandell02 · August 2015

I'm no expert...but hang in there! Can you keep snacks and drinks by the couch? Is there a neighbor/friend/family member you can call to watch him for an hour while you sleep? Also the house upkeep does not matter. Let it all go and focus on you and your little guy!

Curlygirl2415 · August 2015

Your little guy sounds similar to my son who is now two and a half. He napped on my lap until he was 5 months old and we sleep trained him. I was trapped in a recliner pretty much all day, so I can identify with how you are feeling. Here are some small things that may make a difference and are worth a try if you haven't already: don't let him fall completely asleep with the nipple in his mouth. Let him get drowsy, but gently pullout out when he is still slightly awake. If he wakes up and tries to get it back, just repeat the process. Then, if you have time, wait until he is out of the light part of the sleep cycle and into the deeper part (about 20 minutes) to lay him down. I know everyone says to lay them down awake, but you can do that later. Right now you just want to get him in there. This is how I do it with my daughter who is now 12 weeks. In my experience the Pack n Play works best when they are at this age. It feels more snug than a large, flat space. And I think they like the incline too. Also, get blackout shades for the room to make it super dark. If he wakes up and cries a little, see if you can stand to wait just 30 seconds or a minute. Sometimes they cry out in their sleep, but I'm sure you can tell the difference. When I lay my daughter down, I try to put her down feet first, then slowly lower her head so she doesn't startle.

This is just a bunch of random tips you've probably already tried, but I am just hoping something will help you, because I know how hard it is to be in that position. However, my husband is an amazingly supportive and hands on dad who was up with both babies in the night more than I was (he does work all day though). If your husband isn't supporting you enough, have a conversation with him. This is is baby too, and you too have a full time job, it's just at home. Good luck to you!

prettypiggy · August 2015

Sounds like my little one. I was about to lose it last night and he finally gave me more sleep than he has in about week. Hang in there sometimes they sleep when u most need them to. The only trick I could suggest is nursing him until drowsy and then slipping him something to suck on instead of the breast either a pacifier or bottle and then quickly lay down. Also I give him the bottle while bouncing him in his bouncer.

PrimRoseMama · August 2015

It's exhausting but normal. Ride it out. It does get better.

Bigboobsmcgee · August 2015

All very normal, unfortunately. I think that things don't get better with babies until around 3 months old, then they are really good around 6 months. The beginning is really, really fucking hard. No one can prepare you for just how hard it is with a baby.

DO NOT take things out on your husband. I don't know that whole story but you guys have to be a team in order to survive this.

If you feel like you are experiencing PPD then speak to a doctor. There's no shame in that.

nikiaPSU · August 2015

Thank you ladies!!! I was having an "off" day and was about to pop. I'm slowly learning it's his way not mine. Patience is a virtue holds new meaning to me now. A friend told me her son hates to sleep on her after being such a cuddler so I'm going to enjoy it while I can.

Knottie97536784 · August 2015

I'm so sorry you're dealing with a really fussy baby. It is one of the hardest things to deal with because it is constant and lack of sleep can really take a toll on you. It sounds like you're doing a great job and are a very caring mama to be concerned like you are.

Some ideas that may or may not be helpful to you:

Try a sleep sack at night to keep him swaddled. Sometimes babies sleep terribly when not swaddled.

Pay attention to your diet and avoid acidic foods. If you're breastfeeding this can cause painful reflux in your baby even if he doesn't spit up much. Try a bland diet for a few days and see what happens. Avoid spicy foods, most fruits, vinegar, tomatoes/tomato sauce.

Hope things get better for you soon!

cg0112358 · August 2015

meltwithyou said:
Hang in there. Don't worry about the daycare. I was so worried about going back too because I had a LO who would only nap while being held. She was fine at daycare. They have so many tricks up their sleeves. And I just had to remind myself that how she acts there is not a reflection on me. They even got her to put herself to sleep in a PnP, a feat I could never accomplish at home.

Have you tried baby wearing him so you can do some little thing around the house and hopefully lull him to sleep? DD loved being put in the k'tan. And then I had my hands free to buzz around and do little picking up.

And some days I told myself feeding and holding DD was enough and if I spent the day on the couch, so be it. It's so hard in the beginning. Hopefully it starts to get better for you.

All of this!

averybby09 · August 2015

Sounds just like my 7 week old. He refuses to sleep anywhere except in my arms. I'm thinking he has acid reflux.

AshleyDinKY · August 2015

I had the same issue with my little girl, but to a slightly lesser extent. My problem was that I wasn't producing enough milk! She would sleep for just a but, then wake up and be miserable. Poor thing was just hungry. I was so furious with myself - how had I not figured that out before?! Sleep deprivation can do strange things to the mind. We also tucked two rolled up blankets, one on either side, of her to help her not move so much in her sleep. She had a super strong startle reflex (that she hasn't completely grown out of at 15 weeks). Ask for help - crying or not, there will be lots of people that want to spend time with your little one, and they might have some tricks up their sleeves that you haven't thought up before. Good luck!

I just want to scream!

Re: I just want to scream!

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