Putting baby on a schedule

ChiccoBeanz · August 2015

Hey Ladies,

Good Morning! I thought of something we can discuss. I asked my cousin about this yesterday and she started to give me some tips and instructions on this but I wanted some more views and opinions. How does putting baby on a schedule work? I thought of some questions below. Please feel free to add.

1. Did you former FTMs put your first baby on a schedule? If so, how did you achieve that?

2. STM+ moms, if you didn't do so the first time, are you going to do so now?

3. Where do you begin?

4. What should us brand new moms know when trying to achieve this?

Thank you ladies!

monaclemere · August 2015

I never put my kids on a schedule, per se. I followed their lead and they naturally scheduled themselves. Eventually they began sleeping and eating in a regular pattern, and I just followed what worked for them. Hopefully we can do the same with this one.

I guess it helps that because of my work schedule and our childcare situation, my kids have never needed to be on a more rigid timeline. And the schedules they worked out for themselves were easy for us to accommodate.

We did sleep train my son around 7 months, because he was a crappy night time sleeper, but that's a different conversation

Edited: because English is hard

Marchmellow2 · August 2015

As infants they just make their own schedule like PP said. I would just follow his cues and go. As a STM, a tighter routine might be in order so I can keep both kids happy. At 6 months or so is when I started to sleep train DS too. With sleep training comes more routines. It will all come very easy. But you can't really put an infant on a schedule per se. I would just go with the flow. You can make sure lo eats every 3 hours though.

monaclemere · August 2015

I forgot to mention, the one "schedule" I did put my LO's on was to wake them to eat every 3-4 during the day. That way they had their long stretch of sleep at night. Thanks @Marchmellow2 I totally forgot about that!

vera1127 · August 2015

I will say that as much as you attempt to put LO on a schedule, once you get it figured out they'll change it right up on you. Just follow their lead and it eventually works itself out. The first 2 weeks are the hardest. After that you'll all start to find your groove.

JulieK79 · August 2015

The best advice I got the first time around was to follow a sleep, eat, play pattern. If they eat right when they wake up they won't be tired and fall asleep halfway through. Then I kept him up for whatever was the suggested amount of time (when super little all the books say they should only be up for 1-2 hours). Then he went down for a nap. I repeated this pattern all day long and worked for us.

rockinmathchic · August 2015

1. Did you former FTMs put your first baby on a schedule? If so, how did you achieve that?
Yes, my son was on a schedule. This worked really well for us and him. We did have to change it up periodically as he grew, but it was generally easy to stay on a similar schedule. This may have been easy to achieve because he spent 14 days in the NICU and the nurses rotate through the babies they are responsible for and therefore have them all on a schedule.

2. STM+ moms, if you didn't do so the first time, are you going to do so now?
Even though we did a schedule, we plan on doing one with our DD this time around. We fully realize that she may be a little different than DS.

3. Where do you begin?
Like I said above, our son came home on schedule, so we really didn't "start" it per se. However, our generally rule was to stick to the schedule within reason. If he was crying because he was hungry earlier than schedule we would wait some time to see if he could be calmed another way (rocking, sleeping, playing, paci, etc.). If not, we would feed him then adjust the schedule. So if feedings were 3 hours between, we would do 3 hours from the adjusted time we fed him. Eventually he would wake up and eat and sleep on a regular schedule and we only had to adjust as he went through growth spurts and needed more food.

4. What should us brand new moms know when trying to achieve this?
Getting into the groove can take time, so don't get frustrated or give up. You may need to do a lot of "on demand" stuff to get there. When you adjust for your baby's comfort just try to keep the schedule. I really believe in this method and think that it makes everyone (mom, dad, baby, and siblings) happier.

OrangeFox · August 2015

I was very happy that my DS was so flexible when he was little. We have a lot of friends and family without kids and it was nice to be able to accommodate their schedules for a little while. We could go/do whatever and if baby was tired, he'd sleep. Around 5 to 6 months we started a routine during the day. He was still waking up once at night (and still EBF). It took a few weeks for him to really get the routine. Now we stick to it 95% of the time. He's 2 now and enjoys nap time/bedtime.

TacoSarah · August 2015

I've been reading the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and plan on following the routine she recommends E.A.S.Y - eat, activity, sleep, you-time. There's no set times, you let the baby decide how long to do each for, but you follow that sequence. For a newborn she suggests it will be a 3 hour cycle.

My BFF followed the Conented Little Baby Book schedule and whilst it worked for her, she was a slave to it.

I'm hoping to get baby sleeping through the night from 6 weeks old.

maiatene · August 2015

Like PP I observed my son and wrote everything he did down. His "schedule" was essentially eat, play, sleep and I always let him nap in the living room and down for the night in his room, so he could "get" the difference between day and night. As he got older I started to lengthen the amount of time for each but kept bedtime consistent. He started sleeping in 10 hour stretches by 12 weeks (I'm one of the lucky ones). With this one I plan to do the same and hopefully I get the same results.

Mizuiro007 · August 2015

I started a flexible schedule with DS as soon as we got home. I knew it needed to be flexible to allow for growth spurts and teething and such that can throw things off. Later as he struggled to thrive it felt.more important to feed him than getting him to sleep longer or I would've handled the middle of the night routine a little differently.

The biggest thing I did starting out was all the lights were on during the day. Then at the same time each evening (a few hours before the intended bedtime) all the lights were turned down. This was just to help regulate his days and nights. We live in a basement apartment and keep all the windows well covered for privacy for the lights were a big deal.

Then the same time each night I went through the same bedtime routine. He had eczema so I didn't want to overdo baths. Instead I would apply lotion and give him a little massage as I'd sing to him, dress him in a sleeper, feed him, and if he was still awake we'd read until he fell asleep.

Then at the same time each morning 8-10 hrs after bedtime, I'd get him up and dress him in daytime clothes.

These cues still seem to work well for him although times have shifted some. The hardest was hubby's work schedule changing when he was out of work and now working 4pm-12:15am. DS has figured out his schedule and has to be awake when Daddy comes home.

With as well as it worked, I plan to do this again. It seemed to cut out the need to do any harder sleep training. Especially after I started teaching DS to self soothe around 3-4 months. I would calm him when he was tired by stroking a blanket on his cheek and when he was grasping with purpose taught him to do it himself. This time I plan to get the a+a security blankets and use them.

Blake&Blair · August 2015

I'm going to be nit picky and say I don't like a schedule but prefer a routine. That way baby will be flexible with times when life happens and it's easier for them acclimate to situations. I definitely believe in routines because it makes them feel safe and comfortable but too rigid of schedule typically ends up with both us being stressed out. I did whatever my newborns wanted those first few weeks-feeding and sleeping was on their time frame. As they start to sleep longer stretches and get their nights/days straight it's easier. Starting in the evening I usually make it relaxing- dim lights and quiter noises. A bath, with lotion, a feeding and then lay them down for the night.

Ccat1977 · August 2015

I believe in the power of routines. Same series of events leading up to bedtime - bath, feeding, cuddle, crib. If I want him to sleep longer at night, I might reduce his daytime naps a bit and makes sure he eats right before he goes down so he's not waking up hungry too soon. You can't really "schedule" as much as encourage the pattern you want. When they are brand new I don't worry about it - they will do what they do, but after a few weeks I'll start with the routines.

rockinmathchic · August 2015

TacoSarah said:

I've been reading the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and plan on following the schedule she recommends E.A.S.Y - eat, activity, sleep, you-time. There's no set times, you let the baby decide how long to do each for, but you follow that sequence. For a newborn she suggests it will be a 3 hour cycle. My BFF followed the Conented Little Baby Book schedule and whilst it worked for her, she was a slave to it. I'm hoping to get baby sleeping through the night from 6 weeks old.

I had never heard of this book, but this is exactly the schedule we followed with DS after bringing him home from the NICU! It worked wonders and I believe helped regulate is sleeping over night. He was sleeping 6-7 hours every night by 2 months by using this schedule. To this day (he is almost 3) his sleeping schedule has been so easy. No real issues with sleeping through the night keeping a schedule/routine going.

TacoSarah · August 2015

rockinmathchic said:

TacoSarah said:

I've been reading the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and plan on following the schedule she recommends E.A.S.Y - eat, activity, sleep, you-time. There's no set times, you let the baby decide how long to do each for, but you follow that sequence. For a newborn she suggests it will be a 3 hour cycle.

My BFF followed the Conented Little Baby Book schedule and whilst it worked for her, she was a slave to it.

I'm hoping to get baby sleeping through the night from 6 weeks old.

I had never heard of this book, but this is exactly the schedule we followed with DS after bringing him home from the NICU! It worked wonders and I believe helped regulate is sleeping over night. He was sleeping 6-7 hours every night by 2 months by using this schedule. To this day (he is almost 3) his sleeping schedule has been so easy. No real issues with sleeping through the night keeping a schedule/routine going.

I'm so glad to hear it worked for you! It sounds really simple, I'm really hoping it is.

She suggests using different activities at different times, like active play with you, playing by themselves and at bedtime, the activity is bath and bedtime routine, then you put them to bed when they are still awake so they learn to settle themselves to sleep.

It sounds like a routine that keeps you both sane and gives you plenty of time to live life together.

rockinmathchic · August 2015

TacoSarah said:

TacoSarah said:

I've been reading the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and plan on following the schedule she recommends E.A.S.Y - eat, activity, sleep, you-time. There's no set times, you let the baby decide how long to do each for, but you follow that sequence. For a newborn she suggests it will be a 3 hour cycle. My BFF followed the Conented Little Baby Book schedule and whilst it worked for her, she was a slave to it. I'm hoping to get baby sleeping through the night from 6 weeks old.

I had never heard of this book, but this is exactly the schedule we followed with DS after bringing him home from the NICU! It worked wonders and I believe helped regulate is sleeping over night. He was sleeping 6-7 hours every night by 2 months by using this schedule. To this day (he is almost 3) his sleeping schedule has been so easy. No real issues with sleeping through the night keeping a schedule/routine going.
I'm so glad to hear it worked for you! It sounds really simple, I'm really hoping it is. She suggests using different activities at different times, like active play with you, playing by themselves and at bedtime, the activity is bath and bedtime routine, then you put them to bed when they are still awake so they learn to settle themselves to sleep. It sounds like a routine that keeps you both sane and gives you plenty of time to live life together.

We thought it was really simple. From experience I completely agree with putting them to bed awake so they learn to go to sleep without intervention. This worked wonders for us. I also agree that it keeps everyone sane, well as sane as you can be while sleep deprived!! Good luck!!

AnnH74 · August 2015

I like the routine of eat play sleep. I also am planning on being pretty flexible within reason the first couple weeks when dad is still home. I will wake the baby up during the day to feed in hopes that he will sleep longer at night. After the first couple weeks, I hope to start getting him on a schedule that fits our schedule now. We will have a 3 yr old and a 19 month old-we have a pretty good schedule right now and I hope to not have to mess with it too much and not make me go crazy either. He will have a wake up time that is slightly before the other two so I can feed and get him dressed. With my other two there seemed to be a time at a couple months old or so where I could put them down to sleep drowsy and they would go to sleep on their own. I hope that works this time too. We never really had to sleep train because of this.

TomekiaB · August 2015

I just read "Bringing up Bebe" and they had some interesting sleep theories. Mostly pausing before responding to babies to give them a chance to self soothe. They said that babies have a 2 hour sleep cycle and when they learn to connect them they start "doing their nights" (sleeping through the nights) so if parents rush in to quickly when the baby wakes up between sleep cycles the parents can actually fully wake up their child who would actually learn to slip more quickly into the next sleep cycle if they had given the baby a couple minutes before responding. The book says most French babies start sleeping through the night between 6 weeks and 3 months which is interesting. They also keep kids on 4 meals per day which they credit with increasing their appetites so they aren't picky eaters, I think around 3 months is when they start to get them on the meal schedule (8am, 12pm, 4pm, and 8pm). The only snack older kids get is at 4pm and so if they ask for a treat even if the parent agrees they have to wait until 4pm to have it which supposedly helps prevent the toddler meltdowns. The entire country follows the schedule though so I am not sure how effective it would be especially snack wise in a culture that doesn't follow the same schedule. I am a FTM and I will try the pause but I will have to see how well the schedule works in a culture where meal times are more flexible.

littleSkittle14 · August 2015

Honestly, one of the things im most excited for this time around is having a baby who has a really flexible schedule. My DD MUST nap at certain times, but newborns will sleep anytime anywhere.

They eventually fall into the pattern of sleeping at night and then the stretches get longer and less flexible but the first few weeks... If you want nachos at 10pm, pack the baby up and go get nachos! Obviously not something you can do when they're older

sassysister18 · August 2015

With my DS he naturally put himself into a routine, we did eat play sleep and followed his cues which eventually just worked out into s routine of some sorts. We kept it flexible for outings etc this baby we will do the same but realise we will have to be more flexible as we need to do things with our son still etc

TacoSarah · August 2015

TomekiaB said:
I just read "Bringing up Bebe" and they had some interesting sleep theories. Mostly pausing before responding to babies to give them a chance to self soothe. They said that babies have a 2 hour sleep cycle and when they learn to connect them they start "doing their nights" (sleeping through the nights) so if parents rush in to quickly when the baby wakes up between sleep cycles the parents can actually fully wake up their child who would actually learn to slip more quickly into the next sleep cycle if they had given the baby a couple minutes before responding. The book says most French babies start sleeping through the night between 6 weeks and 3 months which is interesting. They also keep kids on 4 meals per day which they credit with increasing their appetites so they aren't picky eaters, I think around 3 months is when they start to get them on the meal schedule (8am, 12pm, 4pm, and 8pm). The only snack older kids get is at 4pm and so if they ask for a treat even if the parent agrees they have to wait until 4pm to have it which supposedly helps prevent the toddler meltdowns. The entire country follows the schedule though so I am not sure how effective it would be especially snack wise in a culture that doesn't follow the same schedule. I am a FTM and I will try the pause but I will have to see how well the schedule works in a culture where meal times are more flexible.

This sounds really interesting too, I'm going to check it out.

Taylovesbrad · August 2015

Dumb question maybe but how do you "play" with a newborn to follow that cycle?

maiatene · August 2015

Taylovesbrad said:

Dumb question maybe but how do you "play" with a newborn to follow that cycle?

Tummy time, tickling, rattles, silly dances... and if you're a bad mum or dad - television :-O lol

rockinmathchic · August 2015

maiatene said:

Taylovesbrad said:

Dumb question maybe but how do you "play" with a newborn to follow that cycle?

Tummy time, tickling, rattles, silly dances... and if you're a bad mum or dad - television :-O lol

And "play" will be very short, especially in the early weeks/months. They will sleep most of the time.

TacoSarah · August 2015

Taylovesbrad said:
Dumb question maybe but how do you "play" with a newborn to follow that cycle?

They like black and white stuff and faces so they are pretty happy laying there staring at you and other things that move like a black and white mobile and a baby gym.

redfallon · August 2015

Newborns have full vision, but cannot see except for closeup.

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/newborn-vision

https://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/senses/sensenewborn.html

Taylovesbrad · August 2015

You ladies are the best.

Mizuiro007 · August 2015

With DS for early play I would play music and we would "dance" to it. We'd tummy time and once he was starting to hold his head up we had a little toy with a mirror so he could see his reflection.

This is what we had.
https://www.fisher-price.com/en_US/brands/babygear/products/Sing-Along-Tummy-Time-Mirror

soulfish · August 2015

I have always followed baby's lead but fed them immediately after they woke up to avoid the falling asleep at the breast issue. I keep them active and engaged for as long as possible in the evening. My first two babies slept 5 or 6 hours straight through the night at around 4 weeks. Babies come with trunk loads of monkey wrenches so try to be as flexible as you can.

Knottie23167161 · August 2015

"Moms on call" is highly recommended if you want to get sleep! There's an app but they also have a book you can download from the kindle app. My sister swears by it and I have seen it work first hand. They also have a Facebook page that you can ask specific questions and they will answer. My sister put her new born on the schedule from day 2 and her new born was only waking up once a night from day 2 on!

KreecherMom · August 2015

TomekiaB said: I just read "Bringing up Bebe" and they had some interesting sleep theories. Mostly pausing before responding to babies to give them a chance to self soothe. They said that babies have a 2 hour sleep cycle and when they learn to connect them they start "doing their nights" (sleeping through the nights) so if parents rush in to quickly when the baby wakes up between sleep cycles the parents can actually fully wake up their child who would actually learn to slip more quickly into the next sleep cycle if they had given the baby a couple minutes before responding. The book says most French babies start sleeping through the night between 6 weeks and 3 months which is interesting. They also keep kids on 4 meals per day which they credit with increasing their appetites so they aren't picky eaters, I think around 3 months is when they start to get them on the meal schedule (8am, 12pm, 4pm, and 8pm). The only snack older kids get is at 4pm and so if they ask for a treat even if the parent agrees they have to wait until 4pm to have it which supposedly helps prevent the toddler meltdowns. The entire country follows the schedule though so I am not sure how effective it would be especially snack wise in a culture that doesn't follow the same schedule. I am a FTM and I will try the pause but I will have to see how well the schedule works in a culture where meal times are more flexible. OBSESSED with this book.

TomekiaB · August 2015

@KreecherMom have you read French Kids Eat Everything? Its actually why I tried bring up bebe. I read French Kids Eat Everything 2 years ago just because it was recommended at the library (I'm a registered dietitian) and because I was seeing a lot of picky toddlers at the time, I love the philosophy behind feeding in FKEE, it is the one book so far I've told DH I want him to read. I felt like bringing up bebe put some of FKEE in a wider context.

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